erowe1
Member
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 32,183
Here is a different approach, since there are a lot of people who would like to see more emphasis put on his military donation numbers.
I think the wording could use some work, but I'll throw it out here so I can get input .
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I like a lot of things about this, especially the basic idea of it.
I would not use the word "seem." There's no need to be wishy washy. Just say, "We share a common creed."
Also, it might be just me, but I'm not crazy about the top sentence, especially given that RP campaigns on the idea that most of what the military gets used for is not guarding freedom. What if instead it said, "I took an oath to uphold the Constitution."?
On the pie chart, I think it would be simpler just to have the 2011 data. That's enough by itself to make the point.
It's good to keep it simple. So that right there might be enough. However, if you want to add one or two more things (I don't know if it would be a good idea or not), one thing would be the Ronald Reagan quote about Ron Paul being strong on defense, and the other would be the factoid that he is the only presidential candidate with military experience.