Second Draft of USA Today Ad

[tanstaafl]

Great ad in general; my personal thanks to those making it happen. I have some suggestions which I believe will make it even more impactful:

(1) shrink founders images (they don't need to be huge as the faces are so familiar they jump off the page) and enlarge Paul's image.
(2) where appropriate, include actual quotes from the founders - many people seem to have forgotten the words...but can be reminded, for example, "We've given you a Republic - if you can keep it."; "Anyone who would trade a little liberty...";"That government governs best which governs least"; etc. Any candidate can SAY they favor what the Founders advised - but only one dares to actually quote them!!!
(3) I like Paul's "Let it not be said that we did nothing" quote but, in any case, I would like to see at least some of his most powerful words under his name.
(4) IMO, but backed from talking to hard-core Republicans, Ron Paul is seen as being WEAK ON NATIONAL DEFENSE. This is a misperception which is holding him back significantly and desperately needs to be addressed. I STRONGLY ADVISE a bullet point emphasizing that his plan to actually make the military STRONGER by *conserving* (a great word, imo) and *consolidating* and being much more *strategic* with resources. A nation stretched to the limit, with military hardware in poor repair, only able to fight by borrowing from the Chinese is NOT a strong military!!!!
(5) I agree that ronpaulforums is not the optimal place to send those newly exploring Ron Paul. Probably the section(s) of ronpaul2008 with his bullet points, speeches, and focussed video links is best?

Those are my main suggestions; I hope you have time to consider them - especially my point on how Paul is being pigeon holed as favoring a *weaker* military instead of a more concentrated one!

Once again, great job and much appreciated!!

 

[Mav]

Don't water it down any more, keep some of the punch as that's what's needed. "Debt slaves" is a great term and should be kept. Period. I really think it should go back to the Founders being the speakers, since that has far more impact than the changes made.

The fact that you agree with it isn't the problem. The problem is the term is HIGHLY offensive to a large number of people, especially when it's used on the context of an insult directed toward my children!!!

This is really the same as the Russo issue we discussed in the Teaparty website. I really like the Russo film. But it is a conspiracy / truth film and it took the focus off Ron Paul's message.

Ron Paul doesn't call our children DEBT SLAVES. We might love it, but to most people it's an insult, it's offensive, it's unprofessional and it's highly inappropriate.

 

[aroberso]

The statement that Ron Paul never accepts money from special interest groups or lobbyists is false. He never lets it sway his vote, but he DOES accept money from any special interest group that wants to give it. Other than that, its looking good.

Could it be quantified that he has accepted the LEAST money from lobbyists? I suspect that to be the case, since they supposedly don't even knock on his door.

 

[Naraku]

The fact that you agree with it isn't the problem. The problem is the term is HIGHLY offensive to a large number of people, especially when it's used on the context of an insult directed toward my children!!!

It's not being used as an insult though, but an attack on the system itself. In that way it NEEDS to stay. You are overreacting just like people overreacted to the Guy Fawkes matter.

 

[Mark]

The USA Today ad ~ llepard paid for ~ on a web page ~ for better viewing pt 2

.

I saw where some couldn't see the 2nd ad draft at work ect, so,
I did the web page thing again.

This time with the original on top, followed by the second draft below,
to facilitate comparisons.


http://www.revmark.org/forumfiles/ad2.htm

.

 

[Ninja Homer]

...

 

[Mav]

I agree - keep the term "debt slaves" as it is an accurate depiction of what is going down.

It may be accurate. But there are FAR more productive ways to say it. Using an inflamatory reference like "DEBT SLAVES" may sound wonderful on a Ron Paul message board. But most people will be offended - or worse.

 

[Naraku]

It shouldn't really be changed at all, it's fine the way it is and people have to stop acting like they know what's based, it's obviously not their money and some ads just don't work.

That's why I like having the Founder saying these things because it's like they're pissed off and dressing down the current government for what they're doing to their citizens.

 

[Mav]

It's not being used as an insult though, but an attack on the system itself. In that way it NEEDS to stay. You are overreacting just like people overreacted to the Guy Fawkes matter.

WOW!!! That is EXACTLY my point. I am overreacting just like everyone overreacted to the Guy Fawkes matter.

I'm telling you large portion of $22million people will ALSO overreact to having their children called DEBT SLAVES.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong. But it's going to happen if the reference stays. I suggest eliminating the term SLAVES all together.

 

[Ridiculous]

It's not being used as an insult though, but an attack on the system itself. In that way it NEEDS to stay. You are overreacting just like people overreacted to the Guy Fawkes matter.

The people who were against the Guy Fawkes association were right. The association with V and Guy Fawkes was mentioned negatively in just about every article on the 5th. It just wasn't as bad as many thought it was going to be, but they were there none the less. But just look at Glen Beck video from the other day, he was basically saying that Ron Paul supporters have the potential to be domestic terrorists. Obviously his logic is flawed, but Ron Paul supporters did give him the ammunition to make that attack.

 

[wfd40]

Well, it's not my money...but as the original author of the piece, I'm disappointed that certain timid naysayers influenced the watering down important points.

1. The Founders should be speaking to the American people. That's the whole creative aspect of the message....we messed up and they are holding us accountable. The people who claim that is "presumptuous" know nothing about marketing. The mesage is not as powerful because it's no longer "coming from the founders"...That was the whole point

2. Removing the part about political parties was a HUGE mistake. The vast majority of Americans are Independents...and an even bigger majority are just turned off. Even among Democrats and Republicans...approval ratings for both GOP and the Dem Congress are at an all time high. This point separated RP from the 2 party monster.

3. Removing the media line...another error.... You people are dreaming if you think this media honeymoon is going to last. They still think RP is just an exciting novelty act. When he truly becomes a threat...you will see attacks like you've never seen before. This was a good chance to prepare people for the attacks.

But some of you are so damn afraid of the media that it's pathetic..."chicken revolutionaries"

My advice to anyone who think they have a good idea...dont even post it in these forums...just run with it because the naysayers are generally unimaginative downers who will demorlaize u and water down your original concept.

same gang that tried to kill Hamedah's Muslim ad.
same gang that complained about V day.

also...TAKE THESE FORUMS OUT OF THE AD!.....You treally want the average american exposed to nuts like me?...lol

Not only are you spot on about the problems of "group think"... but also - and I think more importantly - this add needs to be a bit "in the publics face"... otherwise, there won't be any "controversy"

Remember guys, not only do we want this to really hit home with the millions of USAToday readers.. but also - and again, more importantly - we want this to create some controversy that the MSM picks up...

Our positions (and that of the founding fathers) are SOUND... this isn't a "general BETRAYOUS" type smear.. this is about CORE AMERICAN VALUES. Good luck trying to smear those ideas.

 

[Naraku]

No, no, no more BS talk of it being "too negative" it's fine the way it is, leave it alone!

It's already been watered down enough. People are always going to find something to nitpick and if llepard tries to make everyone happy it will never get finished. It's already strayed far enough from the original punch, it doesn't need to be made any more wish-washy just because YOU get offended by it.

It will not be an issue and you're just being too much of an alarmist to be reasonable about this.

The people who were against the Guy Fawkes association were right.

No, they were WRONG. Glen Beck is the only one who has made an issue of it and no one else even gives a damn about Guy Fawkes. Only a few people might get annoyed at the term "Debt slaves", but most of them would get offended at something else in the ad that needs to stay. You can't try to make everyone happy with what you say because then you'll never be able to say anything.

 

[Arklatex]

I really like it, add a feather pen to it, laid to the right of Mr. Paul's face and maybe have a couple of ink blotches.

I'd like that look!

 

[Ninja Homer]

Here's an example with a different pic of Jefferson where he's looking you in the eye, the places of Jefferson and Washington are swapped, and Franklin is mirrored so he's facing the center. This is just an example. Obviously, it would have to be re-worked on the original.

 

[wfd40]

It may be accurate. But there are FAR more productive ways to say it. Using an inflamatory reference like "DEBT SLAVES" may sound wonderful on a Ron Paul message board. But most people will be offended - or worse.

dude, seriously.. its the truth isn't it???

When the MSM picks up that rather "infamatory" observation.. someone is going to get the chance to explain what they meant by it... and guess what, the explanation HOLDS WATER..

So, quiet down.

DEBT SLAVES STAYS..

 

[Pete Kay]

This ad is fantastic! I was highly critical of the first draft because I believe that it is strongly immoral to put words in the mouths of other people,especially those that are dead. This 2nd draft has addressed that and made a ton of minor improvements that have made the ad absolutely terrific.

I disagree with the objections to "debt slaves". It's a blatantly true statement that some people might be shocked to read, but it's a statement that cannot be refuted. Sometimes things need to be explained in a way that changes yur prespective and that ad does just that. It was Ron Paul's thoughtful explaination of the immorality of the income tax that got me to support that poistion. People need their eyes opened.

This ad is terrific!

 

[ronpaulyourmom]

I think this new version is a huge step in the right direction, good job.

 

[Pete Kay]

Here's an example with a different pic of Jefferson where he's looking you in the eye, the places of Jefferson and Washington are swapped, and Franklin is mirrored so he's facing the center. This is just an example. Obviously, it would have to be re-worked on the original.

I support this minor change! It really does make the ad more effective.

 

[truthbetold]

It is Beautiful! Great use of whitespace in checkpoint layout.

The suggestion of changing legions to millions of illegal aliens should be implemented. millions is FACTUAL and legions is a word used for allegory or a fairy tale. It dimineshes the "integrity" of the statement. Legions sounds like rhetoric, millions if a FACT.

 

[Naraku]

I was highly critical of the first draft because I believe that it is strongly immoral to put words in the mouths of other people,especially those that are dead.

It was a stupid suggestion to change that and shouldn't have been listened to. I can guarantee that hardly anyone would even care and it would make the ad more effective. Now people are trying to water it down even more to the point where it becomes so "blah" no one is going to feel persuaded in any fashion and it won't be that memorable.

This wishy-washy desire to satisfy everyone is exactly what I don't like about most politicians.