Draft of USA Today Ad
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ronpaulyourmom
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Many people who see the ad will already have some impression of Ron Paul... certainly not all, but some. We must be careful not to reinforce any negative pre-dispositions they have. No matter which issues we push, we must be careful how we word it at the very least.
TruckinMike
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One BIG problem.
You didn't mention one of the most important things in his life.????
He is a God fearing Christian.
Any Christian reading this would definitely want to see that he was as well. I do not believe it would turn away the athiest vote, but it would keep away the Christian vote... at least on some level.
remember Huckabee... he has'em locked up. We need them at the primaries... THEY VOTE!
TruckinMike
You didn't mention one of the most important things in his life.????
He is a God fearing Christian.
Any Christian reading this would definitely want to see that he was as well. I do not believe it would turn away the athiest vote, but it would keep away the Christian vote... at least on some level.
remember Huckabee... he has'em locked up. We need them at the primaries... THEY VOTE!
TruckinMike
ronpaulitician
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"Ron Paul would stop the war and bring our troops home."
There may be a reason to have "our" here, but all other references have "your" when the Founding Fathers talk about the current state of the US.
There may be a reason to have "our" here, but all other references have "your" when the Founding Fathers talk about the current state of the US.
specsaregood
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NO! We/He CAN't DO THAT. The official campaign has NOTHING to do with this and they can't for legal reasons.
I love the ad, as-is. You are a true patriot llepard!
krott5333
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I agree. People need to be informed of these things. They might sound conspiratorial, but they haven't seen nothin yet!
(and they wont
)
Ridiculous
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There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism.
When you look at grassroots plans and actions to support Ron Paul, you have to also think of how people who don't like Ron Paul might attack your ad or action.
It isn't living in fear of the media or anything like that it is just smart risk assessment.
Here is what people who do not like Paul will probably say about that ad:
"Who are these Ron Paul supporters to say who the founders would endorse, that is totally presumtious?"
This could be avoided by simply changing some words around, the message could stay the same You could take out "We" and have it just be "The Founders..." and it would work just as well and it doesn't come of as the founders themselves are endorsing Ron Paul. Then at the end instead of "For these reasons we the founders support" it could be "Don't you think the founders would support..."
Those simple changes would allow the ad to have the same impact and it would avoid the negative press that will result from putting words in the mouths of the founders....
When you look at grassroots plans and actions to support Ron Paul, you have to also think of how people who don't like Ron Paul might attack your ad or action.
It isn't living in fear of the media or anything like that it is just smart risk assessment.
Here is what people who do not like Paul will probably say about that ad:
"Who are these Ron Paul supporters to say who the founders would endorse, that is totally presumtious?"
This could be avoided by simply changing some words around, the message could stay the same You could take out "We" and have it just be "The Founders..." and it would work just as well and it doesn't come of as the founders themselves are endorsing Ron Paul. Then at the end instead of "For these reasons we the founders support" it could be "Don't you think the founders would support..."
Those simple changes would allow the ad to have the same impact and it would avoid the negative press that will result from putting words in the mouths of the founders....
Ron Paul Fan
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I think the ad is great and wouldn't change a thing. Run it!
FreedomRings
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A few quick points that hit my eye:
1) I'd split up the following into two sentences as I think it will "flow" better that way and increase the impact upon the reader:
They warned us that it was our responsibility to keep it that way, but we have strayed from their wise counsel.
Change to:
They warned us that it was our responsibility to keep it that way. But we have strayed from their wise counsel.
2) (AS others have pointed out) - I wouldn't present the text from the founders' point of view. It sounds a bit as if they are lecturing the readership, or even looking down on them because they screwed up the country. Additionally, from a meta perspective, putting words into the mouths of people who died a long time ago might come across as overly confident or even arrogant on the writer's part.
How about writing this from the more inclusive "we" perspective:
The Founders...
...warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now we must labor nearly six months of the year to pay our taxes at all levels as the economy ......
3) Below the warnings, it says "For these reasons, We The Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution."
This could be changed to something like:
If (actual names of founders) were alive today, they would support the Ron Paul Revolution.
That is in line with point 2. Also, putting the actual names there would make it more personal.
1) I'd split up the following into two sentences as I think it will "flow" better that way and increase the impact upon the reader:
They warned us that it was our responsibility to keep it that way, but we have strayed from their wise counsel.
Change to:
They warned us that it was our responsibility to keep it that way. But we have strayed from their wise counsel.
2) (AS others have pointed out) - I wouldn't present the text from the founders' point of view. It sounds a bit as if they are lecturing the readership, or even looking down on them because they screwed up the country. Additionally, from a meta perspective, putting words into the mouths of people who died a long time ago might come across as overly confident or even arrogant on the writer's part.
How about writing this from the more inclusive "we" perspective:
The Founders...
...warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now we must labor nearly six months of the year to pay our taxes at all levels as the economy ......
3) Below the warnings, it says "For these reasons, We The Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution."
This could be changed to something like:
If (actual names of founders) were alive today, they would support the Ron Paul Revolution.
That is in line with point 2. Also, putting the actual names there would make it more personal.
TruckinMike
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I concur. This ad is powerful.
TM
LibertyEagle
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I am concerned about the statement... "replace federal reserve notes with honest money".
Has Paul said that, or has he said something alone the lines of allowing competition in currency?
Of course, they won't understand that, without more explanation. But, is what is there now, accurate? I think it might totally freak people out and make them think that either he wants some kind of new currency like the Amero, or make them carry around gold coins and in the end, will cause financial chaos.
Has Paul said that, or has he said something alone the lines of allowing competition in currency?
Of course, they won't understand that, without more explanation. But, is what is there now, accurate? I think it might totally freak people out and make them think that either he wants some kind of new currency like the Amero, or make them carry around gold coins and in the end, will cause financial chaos.
Correct, Ron Paul would not do away with Federal Reserve money, but allow free market alternatives like Liberty Dollar to compete without prosecution, and removing taxation on commodities like gold and silver. That should probably be re-worded.
FreedomRings
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"replace federal reserve notes with honest money"
could be changed to
"replace federal reserve notes with hard, inflation-free money"
bp2519
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purplechoe
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Very nice!
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