Draft of USA Today Ad

[Bryan]

This ad points to the dangers America faces and the solutions required in a clear and informative manner.

Perfectly stated- some of the points can be fixed up a bit but this is the clear message.

 

[aknappjr]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement). How about making the ad look like a combination of a few of the slimjims...maybe with something catchy so that people read it.

Know your audience - USA Today readers. Pick up a copy of the USA Today and make an ad that is somewhat like the ads already in this newspaper. Also, might the NY Times be better, for though its a statist newspaper, many other newspaper editors and writers and publishers regularly read the NY Times, and don't read the USA Today. Also, it might make the NY Times writers write more favorably about the good Dr. Paul.

No offense, but I'm a huge Ron Paul fan and supporter and I would just pass right on by this founding fathers ad on an average day.

 

[AFM]

Beautiful.
How much did that cost may I ask? Was it cheaper to go with USA Today?
Washington Post or NY Times seem better.

 

[francisco]

I think this is a great first draft, but I have some particular ideas that I think would improve the impact. In the spirit of constructive criticism:

--I find this phrase at the bottom offputting: "We the Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution...". IT SEEMS TO PUT WORDS IN THE MOUTHS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS who after all are long dead and I don't think we should presume to say that they support a particular candidate. Documented ideas, yes; a now-living person, no.

--A little cluttered. Sometimes "less is more"

--Suggest putting the phrases "Ron Paul would..." at the end of each bullet point in bold.

--The phrase at the top before the bullet points should be amended to "The Founders" instead of "We the Founders" for similar reason to my first point; we can't put our own words, particularly words that say "Ron Paul would", in their mouths. It doesn't even make sense, they didn't know Ron Paul.

--IMPORTANT: the contacts for learning more / joining the movement / donating need to be more prominent. Reduce some of the less universally appealing bullet points to free up more acreage. Make it so the reader's eye is drawn to an impetus for action on his part--calling a number, visiting a website, making a donation. I think the most important things we need to do with an ad like this are first to improve name recognition, and then recruit new supporters.

Thank you again for this incredible initiative. It speaks volumes about the strength of support for Dr. Paul's freedom message. No other candidate has anything like it. My suggestions are only my small effort to improve the presentation.

 

[Ridiculous]

I think this is a great first draft, but I have some particular ideas that I think would improve the impact. In the spirit of constructive criticism:

--I find this phrase at the bottom offputting: "We the Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution...". IT SEEMS TO PUT WORDS IN THE MOUTHS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS who after all are long dead and I don't think we should presume to say that they support a particular candidate. Documented ideas, yes; a now-living person, no.

--A little cluttered. Sometimes "less is more"

--Suggest putting the phrases "Ron Paul would..." at the end of each bullet point in bold.

--The phrase at the top before the bullet points should be amended to "The Founders" instead of "We the Founders" for similar reason to my first point; we can't put our own words, particularly words that say "Ron Paul would", in their mouths. It doesn't even make sense, they didn't know Ron Paul.

--IMPORTANT: the contacts for learning more / joining the movement / donating need to be more prominent. Reduce some of the less universally appealing bullet points to free up more acreage. Make it so the reader's eye is drawn to an impetus for action on his part--calling a number, visiting a website, making a donation. I think the most important things we need to do with an ad like this are first to improve name recognition, and then recruit new supporters.

Thank you again for this incredible initiative. It speaks volumes about the strength of support for Dr. Paul's freedom message. No other candidate has anything like it. My suggestions are only my small effort to improve the presentation.

+1

 

[torchbearer]

Does Ron Paul water down his message for stupid people? No. He expects people to learn... to water-it-down, would be to deceive with half-truths. So, your ad gets them to look into ron paul, but they don't like the idea of getting rid of the IRS..and thus leaves.. what have you gained?
Otherwise... if someone is open to the idea... you've peeked an interest.

Ron Paul didn't get this far in his campaign by making his message "mainstream".. mainstream is becoming more Ron Paul... let us not reverse that trend by trying to spoon feed our ignorant brothers and sisters.

 

[krott5333]

Does Ron Paul water down his message for stupid people? No. He expects people to learn... to water-it-down, would be to deceive with half-truths. So, your ad gets them to look into ron paul, but they don't like the idea of getting rid of the IRS..and thus leaves.. what have you gained?
Otherwise... if someone is open to the idea... you've peeked an interest.

Ron Paul didn't get this far in his campaign by making his message "mainstream".. mainstream is being more Ron Paul... let us not reverse that trend by trying to spoon feed our ignorant brothers and sisters.

THANK YOU! RIGHT ON!

 

[kylejack]

In fact, Ron Paul clearly does cater his message to his audience. His statement at the Value Voters thing was far different than his statement in pro-abortion crowds. I agree with many of francisco's points. I don't think its all that important to include the bit about birthright citizenship. As President, he would play no part in the amendment process anyway.

 

[DeadheadForPaul]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement). How about making the ad look like a combination of a few of the slimjims...maybe with something catchy so that people read it.

Know your audience - USA Today readers. y.

I agree with the above poster. While I think this ad is incredible, I question whether the average person will.

In marketing classes, they teach you that you have about 5-8 seconds to catch someone's attention. I think the verbose wording and cluttered nature of this ad take away much of its power. Let's take a step back and consider: WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO RON PAUL - that is the most important question.

Before I became a passionate Ron Paul supporter, I did not know ANYTHING about Fiat Money, the NAU, the Gold Standard, the national I.D. act, etc. and I was pretty well informed compared to the general population. Most people will see a lot of the stuff listed in the ad and think "um...what? anyway...." and move on

What attracts people are: 1.) Opposition to Iraq War 2.) Low Taxes 3.) Small Government 4.) Gun Rights 5.) Support of civil liberties

Also, this ad needs to focus less on what hte Founders stood for and more of what Ron Paul will do

After we grab them with THOSE positions, then they can learn more. We dont need to list 90 positions

 

[krott5333]

I agree with the above poster. While I think this ad is incredible, I question whether the average person will.

In marketing classes, they teach you that you have about 5-8 seconds to catch someone's attention. I think the verbose wording and cluttered nature of this ad take away much of its power. Let's take a step back and consider: WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO RON PAUL - that is the most important question.

Before I became a passionate Ron Paul supporter, I did not know ANYTHING about Fiat Money, the NAU, the Gold Standard, the national I.D. act, etc. and I was pretty well informed compared to the general population. Most people will see a lot of the stuff listed in the ad and think "um...what? anyway...." and move on

What attracts people are: 1.) Opposition to Iraq War 2.) Low Taxes 3.) Small Government 4.) Gun Rights 5.) Support of civil liberties

After we grab them with THOSE positions, then they can learn more. We dont need to list 90 positions

also a good point.

 

[literatim]

I think it would be better to mention stuff about Ron Paul.

God fearing Christian, OB/GYN who delivered 4,000 babies, etc. Some Reagan quotes about him would be good too.

Yeah, the part that says "For that reason, We the founders endorse..." kinda bothers me. Wouldn't it be better to say "For that reason, We the People endorse..." These dudes are dead. If we start claiming their support, why can't Rudy do the same thing? We should be announcing that Paul supports the founders, not the other way around.

Agreed.

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

I agree.

 

[davidkachel]

That's beautiful!

One suggestion though. It's a sea of text and nothing really pops out at you. It might help to bold, underline, italicize key words. Ron Paul, liberty, freedom, etc. Or like in that first section, underline the sentences that say "Ron Paul will....."

NO!!! Don't do that. It violates practically every rule of design. NEVER, EVER underline or use bold. Italicize sparingly.

Try making the text smaller and putting more white space between paragraphs. This will open it up and make it easier to commit to reading.

 

[ronpaulyourmom]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement).

Know your audience - USA Today readers. Pick up a copy of the USA Today and make an ad that is somewhat like the ads already in this newspaper.

No offense, but I'm a huge Ron Paul fan and supporter and I would just pass right on by this founding fathers ad on an average day.

I really couldn't agree more with those statements... I really suck at this and it's a bit presumptous of me, but I'm throwing it out there anyway. It needs a lot of work and some additions for website etc... but yeah..

Quotes that could be used, among many others I'm sure:
“We have not had a presidential candidate who talked about free markets, who talked about monetary reform, who talked about tax reform the way Ron Paul does since Steve Forbes ran for President. Bravo!”
- Don Luskin, “Trend Macro Chief Investment Officer”

"The key is to tie the dollar to a price range for gold...we'll have a rock solid currency and that'll be good for the economy and good for the global economy as well. Have the dollar as good as gold."
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

"Well how do you measure inflation? You can have a whole argument on that, remember the price of computing power goes down 50% every 18 months, in Ben Bernanke’s eyes that’s deflation, he ignores productivity. We should probably have falling prices but these guys won’t let it happen.”
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

“Competing currencies on deposit? Why not? These things have come up in the past; those are pretty good ideas aren’t they?”
- Larry Kudlow, “Host of CNBC’s Kudlow & Company”

“Yield curve the steepest it’s been in years, and that is traditionally considered a stagflation trait, if it’s steepening with all yields moving lower.”
- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”

“I don’t mean this to be political, but when Ron Paul was firing every revolver in Ben Bernanke’s direction, there were a lot of traders cheering down here.”- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”

 

[DeadheadForPaul]

I think this is a great first draft, but I have some particular ideas that I think would improve the impact. In the spirit of constructive criticism:

--I find this phrase at the bottom offputting: "We the Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution...". IT SEEMS TO PUT WORDS IN THE MOUTHS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS who after all are long dead and I don't think we should presume to say that they support a particular candidate. Documented ideas, yes; a now-living person, no.

--A little cluttered. Sometimes "less is more"

--Suggest putting the phrases "Ron Paul would..." at the end of each bullet point in bold.

--The phrase at the top before the bullet points should be amended to "The Founders" instead of "We the Founders" for similar reason to my first point; we can't put our own words, particularly words that say "Ron Paul would", in their mouths. It doesn't even make sense, they didn't know Ron Paul.

--IMPORTANT: the contacts for learning more / joining the movement / donating need to be more prominent. Reduce some of the less universally appealing bullet points to free up more acreage. Make it so the reader's eye is drawn to an impetus for action on his part--calling a number, visiting a website, making a donation. I think the most important things we need to do with an ad like this are first to improve name recognition, and then recruit new supporters.

Thank you again for this incredible initiative. It speaks volumes about the strength of support for Dr. Paul's freedom message. No other candidate has anything like it. My suggestions are only my small effort to improve the presentation.

Agree with all of this post +1

 

[ronpaulitician]

What are the dimensions of a USA Today page?

 

[Ethek]

A couple of points.

The Paul campaign has made such strides largely because the message itself is very audacious, don't be afraid to continue in this vein.

Critiques:

1)The message presented lends itself to the "dismissed as conspiratorial" technique too easily.

2)I think it is important to maintain the "anti-establishment" feel that you've captured, but you shouldn't delve into details regarding either party. Remember Reagan's 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not bash other Republicans". I think that given the widespread support for Paul's message we should extend that to Democrats as well. Fight them on the issues but not in the abstract.

3) Change the We the founders to We the people, In the beginning the narrative is from Ron Paul supporters but your summation is a narrative from the founders. You should either make the entire narrative from the founders or the entire narrative from we the people.

4) A common slur against the libertarian ideals are that of a "stopped watch", consider selectively reducing the "warnings" section and instead include quotes from founders that you've used as a figurehead.

Overall its a great them, thank you, sincerely for rising to the occassion, also please consider uploading a .pdf file of the add, and allowing the Paul community to alter and update the existing add.

This grassroots foundation has tapped into the emergent behaviour of spontaneous market order, you should continue to use that incredible force in this draft, by allowing everyone that is willing and able to better this add the opportunity to do so.

I think this sums up everything said up until page 13. I think that point 4 is a big opportunity.

 

[Ron Paul Fan]

More is better and that's the beauty of this ad. You could read it for days and not get bored of it. It's visually stunning and packs the punch needed to get people to look more into this obscure Congressman that has the support of American heroes. A complete overhaul like some are suggesting are not needed and frankly would be a little dissapointing because this is gold!

 

[craezie]

LOVE the ad, and LOVE you for personally sacrificing your $$ and efforts for Ron Paul.

Since you wanted comments, I think that the overall plan is awesome and looks great. I am a designer, and from a "design" perspective, the bottom is kind of crowded. You don't really have to re-state all of the items on the left side, because most of those points were brought up in the main ad. (and its kind of amateur to have one column, then switch to two to crowd in more info)

To me, the priority should be the right column, stating his personal characteristics. Its already obvious what he stands for from the main ad. His personal achievements are powerful compared to phoney politicians!

The other thing that should be more clear is that he is a REPUBLICAN running in the Rep. primary. I was an independent until I switched a couple of days ago to vote for RP. The ad reads like a 3rd party thing, and it should be clear that he is part of the republican party. With some people, this lends credibility (not me) Kind of hard to bash the 2 party system when Ron Paul has made it clear himself that he will not go outside of the said system.

 

[krott5333]

I think everyone makes good points. Less can be more. But less is also less. I dont think you can attract everyone.

If I hadn't known about Ron Paul prior to seeing this, I bet it would make me a supporter. I think most people just assume that the average USA Today reader is a mindless yuppie.. but if that was the case, no ad would work.

I do think the picture of Ron Paul should be bigger, and "Ron Paul will.... " lines should stand out..either bold, italicized, or underlined.

 

[tsetsefly]

okay, I think it comes of way to strong and will only alienate people by putting them on the defensive, its more of a "blame america" ad than anything, I think we need to show the good qualities of ron paul without sounding so demeaning...

The bottom part of the ad is fine...