Draft of USA Today Ad

[shadowhooch]

Wow, what a bunch of critics.....

llepard,
Don't change a thing if you don't want to. There will be a million different little things to nitpick and critisize....but the message remains the same (Ron Paul is awesome).

Everyone has their own unique way of getting the Ron Paul message out there. Everyone needs to do spread the message their own way instead of attacking others.

Great work and thank you for getting it out there. 3 cheers for llepard!

 

[krott5333]

The ad has the lines 'warned of the dangers of political parties ... etc. '. twice. Please delete one of the lines.

oh god.

this thread is just too funny.

the picture was obviously split into two.

relax

 

[LibertyEagle]

that ad is STUPENDOUS.. all the relevent points, and all laid out nicely.

My "only" critique.. not that you are asking.. is this:

"Ron Paul has receive more military donations from any other candidate" -- to me, that could be construed incorrectly... perhaps..

"Ron Paul has received more donations from military personal than any other candidate"

or something like that..

This is a very good point, IMO.

llepard, is it too late to make this small change?

Oh, and I noticed a period is missing after the line on restoring habeas corpus.

 

[Robben]

IMO the ad should be mainstream. Keep conspiratorial language out of it and avoid ideas that people automatically think of as fringe. If I saw an ad about a politician that wants to abolish the IRS and the ad didn't explain exactly why it should be done I'd immediately dismiss him. Bold statements are ok as long as you mitigate the shock to the reader with explanations as to why and how.

Agree. Although the inflation issue and sound money is hard to explain in an ad.

Also, the msm part. How can Ron Paul restore an honest and unbiased press? Isnt that the job of consumers, not the President? This sounds to much like whining about not getting coverage from the msm.

Also, think hard about the blowback this might have. Will Ron Paul be forced to defend these statements later on? On the other hand, if something controversial is written in the ad it will get more attention form the press, like the petraeus ad did.

About to much negativity in this tread: Whatever the guy whos paying for this ad decides is fine with me, but I dont think he minds some constructive thoughts. So even though I like this ad overall, I think some constructive critisism, for the benefit of all, is OK.

 

[Bryan]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

If it wasn't for the large "An Open Letter to the American People" I would agree- but that, to me, grabs your attention- one then proceeds reading it as a letter and not viewing it as some ad IMHO. Obviously not everyone will but those that do will have a larger impact than if everyone did a "drive by" that had a nice picture and a few bullet points.

That's beautiful!

One suggestion though. It's a sea of text and nothing really pops out at you. It might help to bold, underline, italicize key words. Ron Paul, liberty, freedom, etc. Or like in that first section, underline the sentences that say "Ron Paul will....."

That's a good idea.

It just seems to be like it'd be more effective to list 5 or 6 of his positions in big font rather than like 30 in tiny font

Also: "Raising 4.3 million..." You might want to explain "Ron Paul supporters raised 4.3 Mill and set A RECORD" because i bet many people still have no idea about that and we're trying to reach people whp have no idea about Dr Paul

That's a good point.


I think this will get more people thinking than any other ad I've even seen. This is truly historic.

 

[Ridiculous]

I think by simpy added "Don't you think the founders would support....." would come off a lot better than, "We the founders support....."

 

[jp5065]

One more thing... maybe you should change "will end the federal income tax"

1. People will think he is crazy because there isn't near enough time to explain to the avg joe how this would work and we would still have roads.

2. It's not really true, The President doesn't have the power to do that and I have heard Dr. Paul say that even if he was elected it likely wouldn't happen.

 

[llepard]

Agree. Although the inflation issue and sound money is hard to explain in an ad.

Also, the msm part. How can Ron Paul restore an honest and unbiased press? Isnt that the job of consumers, not the President? This sounds to much like whining about not getting coverage from the msm.

Also, think hard about the blowback this might have. Will Ron Paul be forced to defend these statements later on? On the other hand, if something controversial is written in the ad it will get more attention form the press, like the petraeus ad did.

About to much negativity in this tread: Whatever the guy whos paying for this ad decides is fine with me, but I dont think he minds some constructive thoughts. So even though I like this ad overall, I think some constructive critisism, for the benefit of all, is OK.

Absolutely, that is why I posted it. I get input from hundreds of smart, dedicated volunteers. I will amend to reflect best practices.

Deadline is tonight though. We need to give Linda time to turn it around and get it printed formally in newspaper format.

 

[bp2519]

Hey guys - I can only see the first half of the ad for some reason. Can somebody link to the full ad... maybe on a third party server? Please and thank you

 

[ronpaulyourmom]

“We have not had a presidential candidate who talked about free markets, who talked about monetary reform, who talked about tax reform the way Ron Paul does since Steve Forbes ran for President. Bravo!”
- Don Luskin, “Trend Macro Chief Investment Officer”

"The key is to tie the dollar to a price range for gold...we'll have a rock solid currency and that'll be good for the economy and good for the global economy as well. Have the dollar as good as gold."
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

"Well how do you measure inflation? You can have a whole argument on that, remember the price of computing power goes down 50% every 18 months, in Ben Bernanke’s eyes that’s deflation, he ignores productivity. We should probably have falling prices but these guys won’t let it happen.”
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

“Competing currencies on deposit? Why not? These things have come up in the past; those are pretty good ideas aren’t they?”
- Larry Kudlow, “Host of CNBC’s Kudlow & Company”

“Yield curve the steepest it’s been in years, and that is traditionally considered a stagflation trait, if it’s steepening with all yields moving lower.”
- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”

“I don’t mean this to be political, but when Ron Paul was firing every revolver in Ben Bernanke’s direction, there were a lot of traders cheering down here.”- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”


Just a few quotes I was able to grab from 3rd parties while floating around on Youtube, these are all from November 2007. I firmly believe that we'll convert a whole lot more people with a narrow focus and independent verification on Paul's ideas. EVERYBODY, especially people who read this newspaper, CARES ABOUT THEIR MONEY. The economy is polled to be the most important issue among voters... Let's capitalize on that... I think quotes like this are a good foundation to craft a narrative regarding Ron Paul and the economy. We obviously need some words from the man himself too, but anyway, that's my 2 cents. I don't think the founders ad is the right approach, sorry to be a naysayer.

 

[RPinSEAZ]

Absolutely, that is why I posted it. I get input from hundreds of smart, dedicated volunteers. I will amend to reflect best practices.

Deadline is tonight though. We need to give Linda time to turn it around and get it printed formally in newspaper format.

Great news, thanks for doing this BTW.

 

[chrismatthews]

A couple of points.

The Paul campaign has made such strides largely because the message itself is very audacious, don't be afraid to continue in this vein.

Critiques:

1)The message presented lends itself to the "dismissed as conspiratorial" technique too easily.

2)I think it is important to maintain the "anti-establishment" feel that you've captured, but you shouldn't delve into details regarding either party. Remember Reagan's 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not bash other Republicans". I think that given the widespread support for Paul's message we should extend that to Democrats as well. Fight them on the issues but not in the abstract.

3) Change the We the founders to We the people, In the beginning the narrative is from Ron Paul supporters but your summation is a narrative from the founders. You should either make the entire narrative from the founders or the entire narrative from we the people.

4) A common slur against the libertarian ideals are that of a "stopped watch", consider selectively reducing the "warnings" section and instead include quotes from founders that you've used as a figurehead.

Overall its a great them, thank you, sincerely for rising to the occassion, also please consider uploading a .pdf file of the add, and allowing the Paul community to alter and update the existing add.

This grassroots foundation has tapped into the emergent behaviour of spontaneous market order, you should continue to use that incredible force in this draft, by allowing everyone that is willing and able to better this add the opportunity to do so.

 

[FreeTraveler]

What's this WE stuff, Kimosabes?

Let's remember that llepard is the one putting his dough, and his life and sacred honor at risk here. This is a tremendous action he's chosen to take, and it seems like there are a lot of people immediately ready to completely take over and spend his money and risk his freedom as if they were in charge.

I don't want to come off too harsh here, but regardless of what you think of the ad, I think it's amazing that someone is making this kind of investment, both of finances and of his reputation. Obviously, lots of time and energy went into his planning, and while I'm sure he's looking to tweak this ad to make it the best possible, those of you who think it should be completely different, torn up and redone, etc, need to take out your own ad with your own money and risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC if you're not happy with his efforts.

Respectfully, I would suggest the change about birthright citizenship makes sense, and so do some of the other tweaks, but the ad as it stands will have a huge impact, and for that we should be appreciative.

 

[lisajames96]

What a great idea!

Very inspiring. Maybe you could take out the MSM warning and make Dr. Paul's picture bigger. Can't wait to buy the paper no matter what.

 

[SeanEdwards]

Wow, what a bunch of critics.....

llepard,
Don't change a thing if you don't want to. There will be a million different little things to nitpick and critisize....but the message remains the same (Ron Paul is awesome).

Everyone has their own unique way of getting the Ron Paul message out there. Everyone needs to do spread the message their own way instead of attacking others.

Great work and thank you for getting it out there. 3 cheers for llepard!

This was posted as a "Draft". The people making editing suggestions are not being negative. They're trying to help improve the final product.

Negative would be a post that said: "What a waste of money." etc.

Ultimately, Mr. Lepard of course will have the final say on how his money is spent. It will be up to him to decide what if any editing suggestions he uses.

If there's any negativity in this thread, it's coming from the people griping about the "critics".

 

[Sematary]

Let's remember that llepard is the one putting his dough, and his life and sacred honor at risk here. This is a tremendous action he's chosen to take, and it seems like there are a lot of people immediately ready to completely take over and spend his money and risk his freedom as if they were in charge.

I don't want to come off too harsh here, but regardless of what you think of the ad, I think it's amazing that someone is making this kind of investment, both of finances and of his reputation. Obviously, lots of time and energy went into his planning, and while I'm sure he's looking to tweak this ad to make it the best possible, those of you who think it should be completely different, torn up and redone, etc, need to take out your own ad with your own money and risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC if you're not happy with his efforts.

Respectfully, I would suggest the change about birthright citizenship makes sense, and so do some of the other tweaks, but the ad as it stands will have a huge impact, and for that we should be appreciative.

He asked for input. We're giving it to him. He is, obviously, free to print whatever his heart desires. That is what makes America great.

 

[partypooper]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

agree. or omit altogether. the analogy with the founders is already strong, there is no reason to speak for the founders directly.

 

[bdillahu]

Gramatically

<removed by poster>

 

[RPinSEAZ]

Let's remember that llepard is the one putting his dough, and his life and sacred honor at risk here. This is a tremendous action he's chosen to take, and it seems like there are a lot of people immediately ready to completely take over and spend his money and risk his freedom as if they were in charge.

I don't want to come off too harsh here, but regardless of what you think of the ad, I think it's amazing that someone is making this kind of investment, both of finances and of his reputation. Obviously, lots of time and energy went into his planning, and while I'm sure he's looking to tweak this ad to make it the best possible, those of you who think it should be completely different, torn up and redone, etc, need to take out your own ad with your own money and risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC if you're not happy with his efforts.

Respectfully, I would suggest the change about birthright citizenship makes sense, and so do some of the other tweaks, but the ad as it stands will have a huge impact, and for that we should be appreciative.

We're appreciative, in fact there's a whole thread thanking him. This is the thread where he asked for constructive criticism and that's what we're giving him. Let's stay on topic.

 

[jp5065]

risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC .

it is perfectly legal, check the FEC website!