Ya, I think we as a society have moved to sex driven relationships instead of craving love based relationships where sex comes in the course of love, not as a way to "get off"....
Much exacerbated by our schizophrenic commercialization of sexy/racy clothes and entertainment, while we simultaneously outlaw prostitution and persecute accidental pregnancies.
So long as it turns a buck, all bets are off.
It's not "just" sex that is all screwed up. How many of those boys who volunteered to go to Iraq cut their teeth on First Person Sniper and Real Time Strategy games?
Maybe I am too much of a romantic or maybe just watching too watch dreamy tvshows with great romantic writing has messed with me more then I realize (damn you, Arron Sorkin, Josh Schwartz!), but even still, I have "always" (being relative, clearly, not when I was 5 years old, LOL) wanted someone to spend my life with, not just hook up with for a night of "seeming glory"
Too much of a romantic, IN YOUR TWENTIES? If not then, WHEN? If young men will surrender Idealism, what next? Surrender of arms?
There is time enough to grow jaded and cynical. There is no hurry to make greater compromises than you had hoped to have to make. Patience is a virtue? "Patience is the greatest virtue," said Dionysius Cato in a couple hundred A.D.
I had to ponder that for awhile. Why did he say Patience was the GREATEST virtue? I mean, that's pretty definitive. What about Compassion? What about Kindness? What about Generosity? What about Faith? And then it hit me. With Patience, one might acquire all that is Good.
PLEASE don't make me haul out Diana Ross and the Supremes. You can't hurry Love...
I think people are taught to give up too soon on the dream person,
People are taught to give up on dreams, period.
You can't have it all.
It's too good to last.
You can't have too much of a good thing.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It is a very limited view of God, certainly. My understanding of God, if God there be, is that His Good is infinite. PLENTY to go around. But we are ENCOURAGED to settle. America is not only not living up to herself, we are proactively dissuaded from doing so.
it is not going to be a king, but I think that people do not even really know if they are in love or not before going on.....
In my experience, most people are afraid to be alone. In my experience, A LOT of people compromised too much too soon. PLUS, the older one grows, the more realistic one becomes. The longer one is alone, it's true that one gets more set in one's ways. But, I"m still feeling my way through the mine field, one also knows oneself better and has cared for oneself longer, so would consider fewer compromises anyway.
But that's years and years away for you. If you KNOW that, ultimately, you want the type of relationship that you describe, then now is the time to do more of the freewheeling adventure stuff. Wives and girlfriends worry. 'Cept the ones who kinda wouldn't mind if their husbands kick the bucket young, so they can collect on the insurance.

All things considered, it's best not to force this piece of the puzzle.
This coming from a straight 21 year old male.....
Girls mature a couple years faster than boys, the science is in on that. In your age range, a LOT of girl/women are goin' after older guys. And a LOT of older guys go after younger girls. Early twenties, unless you're B.M.O.C. or rich or an athlete or Notable in whatever way, seriously, what do you have to offer but good company? They cannot LEARN from you, because you are just starting to figure shit out yourself -- you're BEHIND the girl/woman.
Maybe decide that you're NOT up to the pressure of a Significant Relationship this year or in college or whatever, be up front about that, and you may feel freer/easier about suggesting companionable outings. Obviously, if Someone Special materializes and seems to think you're Special too, hey, you're no dope. Guidelines, not rules. A loose plan, not a rigid program.
Maybe.