UPDATE: Women have a RIGHT to FREE contraception.

[wannaberocker]

Let me ask you this. What do you do when you want to buy something? You go ask your husband for approval? Do you get a fixed allowance or how does that work exactly?

Well my mother worked, then she took a few years of from working and then she started working again. Bottom line my folks talk to each other before they buy anything major. My father never baught something without talking to my mother about it (even though some some years he was the only one working and my mother was not). My mother and father have a joint account and each of them have a debt card to that account. When either one of them decides to buy something that cost alot of money, they discuss it with each other first.

Your ideas of a homemaker seem more rooted in a generally abusive society where women are not valued at all. But the reality is not that at all.

 

[wannaberocker]

I`m not and never will get married. I don`t believe in marriage.

I`m in a relationship for more than 10 years actually, but we both make our own money and we don`t ask each other for approval when it comes to buying something. This is the beauty of having financial independence. If my girlfriend wants to go on a perfume shopping spree or cleaning products or hell knows what else, I can`t stop her, same as she can`t stop me if I want put my income aside and invest it or buy whatever stuff.

Where is the care and love ? My brother makes a whole lot of more money than me, But if hes about to make a bad investment. Ill tell him so, not because i want to take his freedom away. But because hes my brother and i love him and i dont want him to lose money he worked so hard for.

I dont know you or your gf, but what you present as your relationship seems so void of love , respect, trust and care. It seems like 2 people going about their own lives and then using each other to satisfy their sexual needs.

 

[JuicyG]

Well my mother worked, then she took a few years of from working and then she started working again. Bottom line my folks talk to each other before they buy anything major. My father never baught something without talking to my mother about it (even though some some years he was the only one working and my mother was not). My mother and father have a joint account and each of them have a debt card to that account. When either one of them decides to buy something that cost alot of money, they discuss it with each other first.

Your ideas of a homemaker seem more rooted in a generally abusive society where women are not valued at all. But the reality is not that at all.

Last posters kept mentioning consulting each other about major purchases. Real beef comes to small things each purchases not the big stuff. A lip ststick here, a perfume there, some this and that and there`s a fight going on. When money is put together, usually fights are unavoidable. You can`t find 2 people on this earth who want the same thing. Of course, in the end it comes down to compromise but too much compromise ends up in frustration.
People who don`t want to recognize this are deluding themselves. They just want to paint this rosy picture to make themselves look good and perfect because most people yearn for outside appreciation, respect and other people`s envy.

Where is the care and love ? My brother makes a whole lot of more money than me, But if hes about to make a bad investment. Ill tell him so, not because i want to take his freedom away. But because hes my brother and i love him and i dont want him to lose money he worked so hard for.

I dont know you or your gf, but what you present as your relationship seems so void of love , respect, trust and care. It seems like 2 people going about their own lives and then using each other to satisfy their sexual needs.

Wow. And where did you draw all these BS conclusions from? You won`t stay with someone for 10 years if you don`t have all of the above.

 

[vechorik]

Poor have had free contraception for years at planned parenthood...

Even in the 1970's, state health clinics provided birth control based on income (condoms, birth control pills, etc). For many, it was free.

 

[KingNothing]

Do women who are not sexually active or in need of contraception for another reason have a right to the money required to finance the "rights" of the other women?

 

[KingNothing]

I dont know you or your gf, but what you present as your relationship seems so void of love , respect, trust and care. It seems like 2 people going about their own lives and then using each other to satisfy their sexual needs.

Or it's two people so in love, so respectful of one another, so trusting and so caring, that they allow their better half the freedom to make decisions as an individual, confident and secure in the knowledge that those decisions will not bring harm to the relationship.

 

[wannaberocker]

Last posters kept mentioning consulting each other about major purchases. Real beef comes to small things each purchases not the big stuff. A lip ststick here, a perfume there, some this and that and there`s a fight going on. When money is put together, usually fights are unavoidable. You can`t find 2 people on this earth who want the same thing. Of course, in the end it comes down to compromise but too much compromise ends up in frustration.
People who don`t want to recognize this are deluding themselves. They just want to paint this rosy picture to make themselves look good and perfect because most people yearn for outside appreciation, respect and other people`s envy.



Wow. And where did you draw all these BS conclusions from? You won`t stay with someone for 10 years if you don`t have all of the above.

Well my folks have been married for 31 years and clearly their ideas of discussing things with each other have worked.

Well my conclusions are based on the information you presented. You paint the picture of a relationship where each does everything independently without discussion or sharing because "its your money " and "its her money". Now that to me suggests that you allow her and she allows you to make even bad choices financially because "its her money". As you said if she goes on a shopping spree and spends all her money, your mindset is "oh its her money she can do whatever she wants".

Now one of the biggest aspects of caring for someone is the fact that you dont want to see that person hurt in any way shape or form. That includes financially, but based on what you said. I would conclude that you will not question her even if you know an investment shes making is bound to fail.

So yeah you can call my conclusions BS, but im simply going on what you presented.

 

[jtstellar]

you don't need gender warfare in paul movement.. waste of time and energy.. the ones aiming to freeload generally don't belong to this movement in the first place

 

[wannaberocker]

Or it's two people so in love, so respectful of one another, so trusting and so caring, that they allow their better half the freedom to make decisions as an individual, confident and secure in the knowledge that those decisions will not bring harm to the relationship.

sure. But when there is no discussion about financial matters and the relationship is set up as "well its her money" and i cant question her decision because "its her money". Keeping that in mind and also keeping in mind that we all make financial mistakes. I ask the question how can a loving man or woman, stand by and allow their loved one to be hurt financially even if they have advanced information that could provent financial harm?

See like the example i mentioned before. My brother makes alot more money than me and he makes all his own decisions. But, if hes making an investment and i know its a fail. Then i wont shy away from telling him so. The fact that its his money wouldnt stop me from saying to him "hey man, this is a bad investment". I simply cant imagine loving and caring for a person and then allowing them to fail financially simply because "well its her money , i cant say anything".

 

[JK/SEA]

well, if we ended these wars, and slashed military spending by a trillion, i would be ok with free birth control.

 

[donnay]

Last posters kept mentioning consulting each other about major purchases. Real beef comes to small things each purchases not the big stuff. A lip ststick here, a perfume there, some this and that and there`s a fight going on. When money is put together, usually fights are unavoidable. You can`t find 2 people on this earth who want the same thing. Of course, in the end it comes down to compromise but too much compromise ends up in frustration.
People who don`t want to recognize this are deluding themselves. They just want to paint this rosy picture to make themselves look good and perfect because most people yearn for outside appreciation, respect and other people`s envy.

Wow, you are really clueless. I am not here making myself look good or anyone else for that matter. You're so hung up with thinking materialism equates liberty. There is no beef to your diatribe.

 

[xFiFtyOnE]

I'm pretty sure that marriage came about in order to stabilize civilization in an environment where there was no good means of birth control. It makes sense that a woman should be sure that the man she is going to have sex with, and thus conceive, will stick around and support her and their children. Otherwise the woman's family has to take responsibility which creates bitter feelings among those who didn't get to have sex, but now they have to provide for and take care of the end result.

Societies that pushed these values flourished more.

Now we have birth control. Now those values that were established over a time period of tens of thousands of years under a set of circumstances where birth control didn't exist are pretty much useless.

So your arguement is that marriage came along so married people didn't have to raise their kids kids...

No marriage = no family = no one to raise your child for you.

 

[dannno]

So your arguement is that marriage came along so married people didn't have to raise their kids kids...

No marriage = no family = no one to raise your child for you.

Thanks for helping make my point. What happens when the grandparents raise their grandkid and they have kids and their parents still don't have their shit together?

Obviously that is happening today as it has happened throughout time, however today people have the choice of using contraception.

 

[KingNothing]

sure. But when there is no discussion about financial matters and the relationship is set up as "well its her money" and i cant question her decision because "its her money". Keeping that in mind and also keeping in mind that we all make financial mistakes. I ask the question how can a loving man or woman, stand by and allow their loved one to be hurt financially even if they have advanced information that could provent financial harm?

See like the example i mentioned before. My brother makes alot more money than me and he makes all his own decisions. But, if hes making an investment and i know its a fail. Then i wont shy away from telling him so. The fact that its his money wouldnt stop me from saying to him "hey man, this is a bad investment". I simply cant imagine loving and caring for a person and then allowing them to fail financially simply because "well its her money , i cant say anything".

The scenario you're creating is complicated, and probably more complicated than it has to be. I like to think that my presence in a situation will foster better decision-making than what you're suggesting, so much so that I would never need to tell my girlfriend or brother NOT to do something that would endanger them in any way, and that if they were unsure of the ramifications of an action, they would consult an expert on the matter.

If I were their best option for input -and that is a scary proposition because I'm not an expert on anything- and they asked my opinion, I would offer it honestly and respectfully. If they did NOT ask my opinion, I might ask them about their impending actions.... but only because I'd be interested to learn their justification and thought-process. I respect my significant-other and my brother enough to know that they wouldn't waste their wealth or the life. If they've made a serious decision that does not involve me, I have faith in their ability to do so wisely and without my involvement.

But that might just be a difference between you and I, or how we're framing the discussion.

 

[wannaberocker]

The scenario you're creating is complicated, and probably more complicated than it has to be. I like to think that my presence in a situation will foster better decision-making than what you're suggesting, so much so that I would never need to tell my girlfriend or brother NOT to do something that would endanger them in any way, and that if they were unsure of the ramifications of an action, they would consult an expert on the matter.

If I were their best option for input -and that is a scary proposition because I'm not an expert on anything- and they asked my opinion, I would offer it honestly and respectfully. If they did NOT ask my opinion, I might ask them about their impending actions.... but only because I'd be interested to learn their justification and thought-process. I respect my significant-other and my brother enough to know that they wouldn't waste their wealth or the life. If they've made a serious decision that does not involve me, I have faith in their ability to do so wisely and without my involvement.

But that might just be a difference between you and I, or how we're framing the discussion.

The bottom line is simple. When we put up barriers in a close relationship that say "oh its their money" then we are in turn holding back our input, concern and responsibility. In a way if your bf /gf screws up with money, your not responsible because "hey its their money and they messed up". What im saying is that we all mess up financially that is a given. However, we often depend on our family n significant other to watch our back. Ill bring back my brother into this, last year he had a friend investing some money into a company and pushing my brother to do the same. One day my brother mentioned that he was gonna invest in that particular company. Well turns out i went to college with a guy who was mid level management in that company and would share how badly that company was run. So i told my brother dont do it, that company is not very well run. So my brother held out and didnt invest in that company, long stories short that company is currently struggling to stay alive. My brother didnt have to ask me if he should or shouldnt invest in that company, I gave him the info i had without him having to ask. Thats because me and my brother dont have the "oh its his money" barrier in our relationship. Now i could have stood by and thought "well he didnt ask for my input" but why would i care if he asked for it or not, when i know the decision hes made is wrong and will cost him.

Truth is iv let people screw up financially and i have put up the "oh its their money" barrier up before and these were people i didnt really love or care for. People you dont care for , you let um screw up. But its hard to watch people you love screw up.

 

[KingNothing]

The bottom line is simple. When we put up barriers in a close relationship that say "oh its their money" then we are in turn holding back our input, concern and responsibility.

Who am I to tell anyone else that they're being stupid with their money? On the same note, I am free to disassociate myself from people who take part in actions that I disapprove of. I've been blessed with a family that is moral and intelligent. I've found a woman who fits that description as well, and the same could be said for my closest friends.

In a way if your bf /gf screws up with money, your not responsible because "hey its their money and they messed up".

Correct. Ultimately, an individual is responsible for his own actions.

What im saying is that we all mess up financially that is a given.

I never have. My girlfriend never has. My brother never has.

However, we often depend on our family n significant other to watch our back. Ill bring back my brother into this, last year he had a friend investing some money into a company and pushing my brother to do the same. One day my brother mentioned that he was gonna invest in that particular company. Well turns out i went to college with a guy who was mid level management in that company and would share how badly that company was run. So i told my brother dont do it, that company is not very well run. So my brother held out and didnt invest in that company, long stories short that company is currently struggling to stay alive. My brother didnt have to ask me if he should or shouldnt invest in that company, I gave him the info i had without him having to ask. Thats because me and my brother dont have the "oh its his money" barrier in our relationship. Now i could have stood by and thought "well he didnt ask for my input" but why would i care if he asked for it or not, when i know the decision hes made is wrong and will cost him.

I never suggested that you refrain from sharing information in casual conversation. All I'm saying is that unwanted advice rarely does any good. In your situation, the advice was hardly unwanted. Seems perfectly fine to do what you did, and I don't think anyone here would disagree.

 

[idiom]

In New Zealand if you live together for 3 years then straight or gay you are automatically married and own half of each others stuff.

 

[dillo]

Of all the violations of civil liberties going on in this country, tax money going to birth control is irrelevant.

 

[dillo]

Well then she can get married and enjoy all the sex she wants with her husband.

isnt sex with contraception a sin

 

[eduardo89]

isnt sex with contraception a sin

"Birth control" per se is not a sin as there are many methods. With regards to the pill: there is not one but rather three purposes for birth control pills.

First, the pill exists to inhibit ovulation, which is its primary means of birth control. Second, the pill thickens the cervical mucus with the effect that it becomes more difficult for sperm to travel to the egg. Third, the pill thins and shrivels the lining of the uterus so that it is unable or less able to facilitate the implantation of the newly fertilized egg.

The bottom line is this, the first two purposes for birth control pills are contraceptive in nature and therefore acceptable for use by a Christian couple. However, the third use of birth control pills is potentially abortive in that it seeks to disrupt the ongoing life of a fertilized egg. That potentiality is incredibly controversial; thus, faithful Christians who are staunchly pro-life and believe that life begins at conception are divided over the issue.

Even Focus on the Family and the Christian Medical and Dental Associations (CMDA) are undecided on the issue. Therefore, whether or not a Christian couple should use birth control pills is a very complicated issue on which faithful pro-life Christians and doctors disagree.

As a result, it seems legalistic and inappropriate to declare that use of the pill is sinful. Yet, at the same time it seems that Christian couples need to be informed of the potential abortive nature of birth control pills so that they can study the matter further and prayerfully come to an informed decision according to their own conscience and the leading of God the Holy Spirit.