12 year old girl arrested for doodling on her desk, sues NYC

[angelatc]

because they were intimidated. that's not a healthy environment

It actually is a very healthy environment. Children need limits, and consequences. Young children especially need immediate consequences.

 

[osan]

Where has parenting gone in the last few years? Between 15 year old girl getting touched in airport security to 12 year old doodling on desk. Not saying they derserve this. It's just where are the parents? Shouldnt they teach not to destory property, and not allow strangers to touch diffrent parts of there bodies.

How do you know the parents are lacking? Kids are kids and sometimes do the wrong things no matter what the parents teach. That is the way kids are, oftentimes. As to destruction of property - where do you get that? The marker was erasable. Even if not, you make the child clean it up and serve detention. If the desk is "destroyed", you charge the parents for replacement. That's how it is done with books. Why not desks? For pity's sake, hauling the kid off in cuffs? That is insane. Hell, I'm tempted to call it evil.

 

[paperplane]

whats next?? jail time for putting boogers under the chair?? damn

 

[osan]

It depends on the willingness of the child to accept punishment and cooperate within boundaries. Some personality types when subjected to the extreme nature of sexuality and entitlement mentality bombarding them feel unjustly persecuted by parents who establish boundaries. When coupled with a conniving intellect they utilize the system to exploit their parents. The system once involved then demands the parents give in to the wants of the child or threatens to destroy the family.

You bet. An acquaintance - a lawyer in Michigan, single father - had a 12 year old son who wanted to attend a party on a school night where alcohol was to be served. Dad rightly said "no way". Pissy little fucker called cops and told them his father was sexually abusing him. Cops arrived in minutes, arrested dad and hauled the brat off despite his instantaneous recantation. The little shit was too smart for his own good and to be honest I think he earned what he got, which was 18 months in "the system" as his father fought tooth and nail to get him back and stay out of prison. Personally, I'd have let the system have the little bastard.

A great standard response to kids who don't want to obey reasonable orders is "there's the door. Don't like the rules? Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." Some kids are just little fuckers - it's in the personality type and there is little to be done to break them of it. I have found that they must often be handled with chain mail gloves or they will run amok within seconds. That's just the way some people are.

My eldest is a problem child, she has 6 other siblings who are a delight and a pleasure. We raised all the children the same, until the state demanded the eldest get special priviledges because she wanted more and was creating a problem. We have been forced through the medical field, counseling, and juvenile justice systems. The situation is now coming to a close because she will no longer be able to hold us hostage to her demands once she turns 18, and she knows this fact.

I'd show her the door and I don't give a shit what age she is. But of course this is not my child, so it would be far easier for me. Have you offered her the choice of toeing the line or leaving?

She has had a gun to our heads due to the states right to seize the other children if we don't cooperate. She has a behavioral problem because she has figured out how to work the system and has a deep sense of greed and entitlement. None of the other children are like this. It is not the parents' problem, it is the child's problem. She picked this irrational idea up from media and school and has managed to reign terror on a family who still loves her but cannot trust her.

You need to find another state in which to live and leave that one behind. No joke. You have other children whose lives ought not be disrupted by this kind of crap. Lose one or lose them all - a shitty choice to make, I agree, but a choice in any event.

Until you have experienced what parents like we have do not attempt to think you know the answers. Fate has a way of teaching you the hard way and I do not wish the hell we have lived upon anyone!!!

My girls were perfect. I was abundantly fortunate to have them instead of some hellion.

Best wishes and good luck to you. I'd kick the eldest out the moment she turned 18, if not sooner. I'm way too old and way too tired to put up with crap like that from anyone. My wife would straighten her out in about 12 minutes.

 

[JosephTheLibertarian]

It actually is a very healthy environment. Children need limits, and consequences. Young children especially need immediate consequences.

I don't believe in spanking. Talking, hugs, and love, that's my belief. the key is to raise the child right before you start seeing bad signs: hyperactivity, rebellious, hypertension, aggression... the root causes are bad parenting / or a lack thereof

 

[paperplane]

I don't believe in spanking. Talking, hugs, and love, that's my belief. the key is to raise the child right before you start seeing bad signs: hyperactivity, rebellious, hypertension, aggression... the root causes are bad parenting / or a lack thereof

i agree 100% on that... that will create trust in the relationship and more openness between the parent(s) and child.

 

[JeNNiF00F00]

It was normal when I was in gradeschool and started being disallowed when I hit middleschool. And I can tell you one thing for sure.

Class was much more organized and when the teacher spoke kids listened.

Yup!

 

[angelatc]

I don't believe in spanking. Talking, hugs, and love, that's my belief. the key is to raise the child right before you start seeing bad signs: hyperactivity, rebellious, hypertension, aggression... the root causes are bad parenting / or a lack thereof

Snicker - You've been soooo brainwashed. I used to be you. Just wait until you actually have one.

The little fuckers will play you like a fiddle.

 

[TruckinMike]

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
-- Proverbs 13:24

TMike

 

[JosephTheLibertarian]

Snicker - You've been soooo brainwashed. I used to be you. Just wait until you actually have one.

The little fuckers will play you like a fiddle.

lol. it can't be that bad if you raise them right. why must they be hit? I never liked it.

 

[JeNNiF00F00]

Snicker - You've been soooo brainwashed. I used to be you. Just wait until you actually have one.

The little fuckers will play you like a fiddle.

Yep. I will say that I was a little demon child. A manipulator. I deserved every spanking I got.

 

[JeNNiF00F00]

I never liked it.

Thats the point!

 

[JosephTheLibertarian]

Yep. I will say that I was a little demon child. A manipulator. I deserved every spanking I got.

I feel different. I was hit and I didn't like it. I am going on experience here Why can't you see eye to eye with a child?

 

[JosephTheLibertarian]

Well, maybe I'll elaborate. I was beaten with the end of a broom handle. I wouldn't say it was the highlight of my life and I don't feel like a better man because of it.

 

[MelissaWV]

I will say that other things happened at the same time as removing paddling from schools. You used to be able to tell a disruptive student to gtfo. Now the teachers often bring the class to a halt to help those who are behind, or acting out, and so on. It bored me to tears when I was in school. Send them out, call their parents, send them home. Of course, you can't "send them home" now, because there's usually no one home to send them to.

 

[JosephTheLibertarian]

I will say that other things happened at the same time as removing paddling from schools. You used to be able to tell a disruptive student to gtfo. Now the teachers often bring the class to a halt to help those who are behind, or acting out, and so on. It bored me to tears when I was in school. Send them out, call their parents, send them home. Of course, you can't "send them home" now, because there's usually no one home to send them to.

lol. I would just sit in detention for the entire day. One of my schools was abusive, though. They would grab the back of your neck while your head was on the desk and would insult you "youre a effin loser, you will never be anything, etc" Do you advocate such things? I wasn't hit by them, but there was a lot of verbal abuse. And they would grab your neck and get in real close as they say very nasty things to you.

That was a school for kids with behavioral problems. cos I was expelled from every school in my town. yea, pity me lol

Hitting only made me resentful towards family.

This why I said I don't want to hit my future children. Hey, maybe I'm naive, don't know yet.

 

[TheEvilDetector]

IMO:

The appropriate response should have been to simply to document the markings on the desk and require that the parents (as the legal guardians of the minor) organise removal of any markings on the table at their own expense.

The parents subsequently have the discretion of choosing the method of punishment (if any) for their child.

Furthermore, given that the activity did not involve violence, was quite limited in its scope, did not involve risk of flight, did involve a young child, the use of handcuffs was excessive.

Simply a document detailing the act should have been forwarded to the parents, in order that the desk is returned to original condition or replaced if necessary.

If the girl was not willing to stop her behaviour after meeting with school supervisors, she could be temporarily prevented from attending class to prevent further damage, until arrival of her parents.

Once parents arrive to meet with the accuser (the school) and the accused (the child), it would be expected that the parents follow up by communicating with the child (at the place/time of their choosing)
to ensure this activity does not repeat itself (provided of course, that the parents are satisfied the school has identified the right individual namely the child).

If this does not prove to be fruitful the school, in order to protect its property would be within rights to require the student leave it to seek education elsewhere.

 

[angelatc]

lol. it can't be that bad if you raise them right. why must they be hit? I never liked it.

It's not supposed to be pleasant, and you definitely weren't supposed to like it. "If you raise them right..." LOL! Words only spoken by the childless.

LOL! It's like you honestly think they won't want to misbehave if you just explain why their behavior is wrong or dangerous.

 

[angelatc]

IMO:

The appropriate response should have been to simply to document the markings on the desk and require that the parents (as the legal guardians of the minor) organise removal of any markings on the table at their own expense.

No. The appropriate response is to make her get a wet towel and wash all the desks in the room, preferably while her classmates get to watch.

 

[Carson]

I don't think I ever thought graffiti was a doodle before and maybe not still.