What Do Women Want?

[newtoforums]

Dude,

Listen to me [grabs you by the shoulders]. You have been brainwashed. You have been brainwashed by the MSM and MS entertainment and by your "education" into thinking that men and women are the same. They aren't. You have been brainwashed into thinking that what women want - or what women SHOULD want - is a sensitive, vulnerable guy who is always nice, showers them with praise and attention, accommodates them in every way, and won't take the lead. You have been brainwashed into believing that women want this. They don't. At least the women who are worth being with don't. Even if they SAY they do.

I don't know you, and I have no clue about your situation, but I'll bet I can describe it pretty well.

You meet a girl you like, you become friends with her. Maybe she has an asshole boyfriend she is trying to get away from. You console her and listen to her talk and go out with her. You fall in love with her. You really care about her and want her as a lover. You are all of the things you have been brainwashed into thinking she wants - sensitive, accommodating, complimentary. She tells you what a nice guy you are and what a good friend you are. But when you make a pass at her, she pushes you away and tells you she just wants to be friends. And then she either goes back to the asshole she has been with or finds a new asshole. And you are left standing there saying "WTF?" And she gives you a look as if to say "I wish it wasn't this way. Why won't you save me?"

By being all the things you THINK a woman should want you to be, you turn her off at a level she probably doesn't even understand. It is very primitive. But she can't control it. She KNOWS intellectually that you are a nice guy, but sexual attraction is not an intellectual process.

Dude, you say you don't want to be this way or that way. That is like a polar bear wanting to be a vegetarian. Men and women have different roles in relationships as a matter of inherent nature. Dominance is not a "game" it is the way of life. Take a look at nature. Wolves don't 'play" at dominance. Chimps don't "play" at dominance. It is hard wired in them AND you. You can't change male/female sexual wiring. You have to deal with it.

I was like you.

I was the guy standing on the sidelines watching the great girls go with the arrogant assholes who seemed to me to be treating them badly. Of course some of them WERE treating the girls badly. So why would a girl prefer to be with a guy who sometimes treats her badly than a nice guy like me who would treat them nice all the time? Because she is WIRED that way. Not that she wants to be treated badly, but that she wants a guy who takes charge and it seems that the guys who convey that naturally are often assholes. I have theories as to why, but won't go into it here.

It took me years of frustration and a failed marriage to figure this out. Except for the sick, controlling bitches, women WANT you to be dominant. They WANT you to be your own man. They WANT you to be in charge. They don't want you to be an asshole, but they would even choose an asshole over a fawning windsock. They want you to TAKE them, not meekly try to talk them into loving you by being a nice guy.

By taking your natural role as a dominant man, you are doing the women around you a favor! They WANT that from you at a deep level. And because you aren't an asshole, you can be the best that manhood has to offer - a dominant, confident man who is also a decent person and not an arrogant dick.

I am not saying that you must be some kind of Chuck Norris hard ass that never sheds a tear or shows a moment of uncertainty. No woman worth a crap is going to dump you for that. But that needs to be the exception rather than the norm. You can be a warm and kind person without being a wimp.

If someone had explained this to me when I was a young man, my life would have been so much better. And the lives of the women around me would have been better too. Please take this to heart.

You owe it to yourself and the women you love to find your manhood. It will change your life.

You are thinking about a woman's definition of a sensitive man.

A TRULY sensitive man would show his emotions but he would almost NEVER sit on the sidelines and comfort a woman. He would find that to be painful and move on to a woman who will be there for him and think about him and ONLY him. He would find coming second to a other guy to be too painful and leave. If she is unfaithful he would automatically leave. He would not change himself for her. And he would not tolerate women's mind games.

You are describing a man who is sensitive to women. I am talking about a man who is sensitive to how he is treated.

Better explained here.


http://www.themenscenter.com/busterb/sensitiv.htm

 

[newtoforums]

I think you are seeing the possibilitites here.



It may seem difficult, but it isn't. You take control and use your control to take care of her interests. Women want to feel cherished. When you establish control and then from that position do things that make them happy, it means much more to them than if you are just a windsock that always goes along with their every whim. In the later case it means nothing to them. It is like the guy who sends flowers to his girlfriend every day. After a couple weeks, she will be disgusted. The guy who only sends flowers once in a while gets a much bigger response.




You are still thinking that men and women are the same. They aren't. A perfectly equal relationship would be great if there were not hard-wired gender roles in human beings that make it contrary to human nature. In lesbian relationships you would think that the partners would be equal, wouldn't you? You would be wrong. In lesbian relationships there is a dominant partner. One partner becomes the "man" and the other is the woman. It is hard wired in the species. You need to accept that. Equality between the sexes in the area of political rights is good and proper. But equality in relationships is contrary to nature. Being dominant is a burden that comes with being a man. It isn't easy if you have grown up thinking that being nice means letting other people have their way.



Now you are getting it. But keep this in mind: she WANTS you to take charge. Really. Trust me. She doesn't want you be a selfish dick that always ignores her needs and desires. But you are NEVER going to be that anyway, so no need to worry. But she does want to surrender control to you. And this is exactly why women have rape fantasies. Women are hard wired to be sexually submissive. If you ignore this FACT in favor of some feminist model of relationship equality you are going to have endless problems.

And remeber, just a gentle dominance will do in most cases. Of course some women really like the rough stuff and they may not be for you or me. And dominance can be loving. Parents totally dominate their children, unless they are horrible parents. But it is the most loving, unselfish relationship known to humankind. Not that you should treat your woman like a child. Just making the point that you can be dominant AND loving and unselfish.



Keep thinking about it. You are getting it. But watch out with the favors. Here is an example. Suppose you are both sitting on the couch reading books. She says "will you go get me a cup of tea?". And the correct answer is: "Why? Did you break your leg?" (unless of course she really DID break her leg). But, if YOU say "would you like a cup of tea?" and she does, go for it. Or even better is just guessing that she would want one, making it, and bringing it to her unasked. In the first instance, if you bring her tea you are just her slave boy. In the second two, you are her loving man who obviously cherishes her because you are in control and you choose to use your position to take care of her.

See?

So what you are saying is if women lead they benefit?

But when men lead, women are still the ones benefiting and being taken care of?

Being dominant is a burden but if the privileges and rights that come with it don't outweigh the burden its pretty stupid to take it.

Now if when you mean men and women are not the same and men should benefit more and women should be the nice ones in relationships then I can agree. Relationships probably work better if the man is the one benefiting.

But part of being dominant is not chasing/courting her. You can't expect her to do the same for you either. You need to be distant and clever enough to make her want to chase you/

 

[torchbearer]

Sociological speaking... from the functionalist school. (this is generalizations)
Women want security.
Men want physical beauty.

As Men get older, their earning potential increases... thus, their attractive qualities increase with age. (you see younger women with older men)
As women get older, their physical beauty decrease. (older single women find it harder to find a mate)

 

[cheapseats]

Now if when you mean men and women are not the same and men should benefit more and women should be the nice ones in relationships then I can agree. Relationships probably work better if the man is the one benefiting.

What's wrong with THIS picture?

 

[asimplegirl]

Sometimes I wish you guys could just watch my relationship with hubby for a few days.

Modern women would mostly hate it. Men would be envious.

I wish there were a way.

 

[Ozwest]

A great thread starter. Sorry I've fast forwarded

Doesn't it all come down to different strokes for different folks?

 

[cheapseats]

A great thread starter. Sorry I've fast forwarded

Doesn't it all come down to different strokes for different folks?

For hooking up, yes.

For STAYING hitched, I am inclined to say that there is rather more to it than ‘live and let live.’

Mind, I speak with no authority. But my long and painstaking studies at the school of hard knocks, coupled with a Single Observer’s long acquaintance with many a miserable couple, nevertheless convince me that effort, honesty, affection, respect, fiscal responsibility, a generalized like-mindedness and those bugaboos Fidelity and Compromise are necessary in varying alchemies to make it the distance. You know, for better or worse.

 

[armslist]

Women are not rational. That's a big part of the equation that a lot of young guys don't grasp.

As it turns out, I'm a lot less rational than I thought I was, but compared to the average woman, I'm practically a robot.

 

[cheapseats]

Now if when you mean men and women are not the same and men should benefit more and women should be the nice ones in relationships then I can agree. Relationships probably work better if the man is the one benefiting.

Women are not rational. That's a big part of the equation that a lot of young guys don't grasp.

Women are at least candid about attributing a certain amount of nuttiness to hormones. What's guys' excuse?

Guys' best thinking got us into the clusterfuck in which we "find" ourselves.

 

[DamianTV]

Women are at least candid about attributing a certain amount of nuttiness to hormones. What's guys' excuse?

...

Men unzip their pants and their Brains fall out!

 

[Ozwest]

I reckon there 2 types of women.

Ones seeking metro sexuals and others seeking real men.

Then, the real men end up with the lot.

No matter how powerful a women is, she still wants a man to take care of her.

Any comments women?

 

[cheapseats]

Men unzip their pants and their Brains fall out!

True, that.

It is also true that mindlessness LEADS to undone zippers.

 

[cheapseats]

I reckon there 2 types of women.

Ones seeking metro sexuals and others seeking real men.

Then, the real men end up with the lot.

No matter how powerful a women is, she still wants a man to take care of her.

Any comments women?

There are different ways of taking care of people, yes? If a bigger, stronger man provides physical protection, if a better-remunerated man (shock of shockers, with all 50 states paying comparably educated and trained women LESS for the same job) provides financial security to "his" woman, it scarcely implies that there is no reciprocity in the Caregiver department. I cannot fathom why ANYONE, man or woman, would stay in a one-sided relationship.

You can't please all the people all the time, and no one person can do it all. Not even Obama. Or white men.

Trite as it sounds, One is incomplete. It speaks to the Tree of Knowledge, I think.

 

[brandon]

Women want to feel desired by as many men as possible at all times.

They view some men as higher quality than others though, so the attention from these men is more desirable for them. Strangely enough, the very act of not showing a woman attention usually raises the man's quality in the eyes of the woman.

 

[cheapseats]

Women want to feel desired by as many men as possible at all times.

They view some men as higher quality than others though, so the attention from these men is more desirable for them. Strangely enough, the very act of not showing a woman attention usually raises the man's quality in the eyes of the woman.

Perhaps with cause, but you are stereotyping nevertheless.

I will further suggest that women wouldn't play so much for men's attention if they didn't see men oggling so many women.

And what's the deal with THAT? Guys insult their wives and girlfriends by oggling women who spend FORTUNES on their appearances, then they insult their wives and girlfriends AGAIN for wasting money trying to look like girls that guys look at. I'll tell you what that is. It's a MINDFUCK . . . for which many guys will be paid back in SPADES when their daughters become teenagers.

 

[Acala]

Not really

So what you are saying is if women lead they benefit?

Not at all. I am not talking about who benefits. Both the man and woman must derive some benefit or the relationship will not work. I am talking about what makes a woman feel attracted to a man.

But when men lead, women are still the ones benefiting and being taken care of?

In a good relationship, BOTH benefit. Partnerships have economic benefits. Partnerships amplify pleasure because you have someone to share the pleasure with. Partnerships provide companionship and support. How much someone benefits from these things is a personal matter. I don't propose to evaluate it.

Being dominant is a burden but if the privileges and rights that come with it don't outweigh the burden its pretty stupid to take it.

Male dominance is not about a cost/benefit analysis. It is about taking the natural role so both partners can feel satisified. Now if a man is not comfortable with being dominant or a woman is not comfortable with being submissive, then they will need to find an unusual partner. Good luck with that.

Now if when you mean men and women are not the same and men should benefit more and women should be the nice ones in relationships then I can agree. Relationships probably work better if the man is the one benefiting.

That is not what I mean at all. Most women LIKE to be with a dominanat man. It is a benefit to them. You are thinking about this in an economic, master/servant sense and that is not what I mean at all. I am not talking about one gender taking advantage of the other.

But part of being dominant is not chasing/courting her. You can't expect her to do the same for you either. You need to be distant and clever enough to make her want to chase you/

It is a delicate art. You need to show enough interest to create some tension, but not appear so interested as to be "in the bag". You need to keep the woman a bit uncertain about whether you are really interested or not - at least at the beginning. Later, you can remove most of the doubt. But she always needs to know for a fact that if she treats you with disrespect, you will walk away and never look back.

 

[Ozwest]

There are different ways of taking care of people, yes? If a bigger, stronger man provides physical protection, if a better-remunerated man (shock of shockers, with all 50 states paying comparably educated and trained women LESS for the same job) provides financial security to "his" woman, it scarcely implies that there is no reciprocity in the Caregiver department. I cannot fathom why ANYONE, man or woman, would stay in a one-sided relationship.

You can't please all the people all the time, and no one person can do it all. Not even Obama. Or white men.

Trite as it sounds, One is incomplete. It speaks to the Tree of Knowledge, I think.

Yeah anyway, enough of the political correctness, or have you lost your bollocks?

 

[Acala]

Yup

Okay, I *MUST* come in at this point.

For some, "the one" doesn't exist. There may be a few, a couple, or none to whom their lives are supposed to touch.

For me, my life has led to a point that ended with this beautiful man at my side. It is not something that happens without work, but it *is* the easiest thing I have ever done.

Even if we were to end tomorrow, I would still know that he was *the* one. The one person who taught me the truth about love. The one person I would have never thought myself to end up with. The one person, I respect more than anything, even in his failures, because of the sheer heart he puts in every endeavor.

My parents were married for 25 years before they divorced. My mother was a horrible wife, and my father a hopeless loser for her. They still are best friends. They still claim the other was the one. They can't have a happy moment without wishing the other could have experienced it. They can't think of their futures without seeing the other in it. They are a pair. As unlikely as it seems, some people do find one person that it just *works* with better than anyone else. Someone that fits the needs they have, gives them the characteristics their own personality lacks, and maybe even strengths to the faults they don't know they have.

No question that some people find a partner that is to them "the one", but it is essentially the same as the idea that you always find a lost object in the last place you look for it - because you stop looking! If you find a partner that works well for you, you are finished looking and don't need to try out any of the other 100 million possible choices on earth to see if they were equally "the one". But that doesn't mean there were not many other suitable mates. And that , to me, is where the soul mate romantic fantasy comes in. A person would need to be pretty difficult to be a suitable match for only one person among the entire globe-spanning mass of humanity.

My parents have been happily married for 60 years. I am sure they feel they found the right "one", but I have no doubt either of them could have found equally suitable mates elsewhere. Maybe even better! But it is meaningless speculation. They found a partnership that works and that is the end of the analysis.

 

[Kludge]

How did I miss this 200+ post thread?

People are unique. Statistics (and frankly, opinions) are meaningless for the situation, unless you're looking for Kipple.

 

[Ozwest]

No question that some people find a partner that is to them "the one", but it is essentially the same as the idea that you always find a lost object in the last place you look for it - because you stop looking! If you find a partner that works well for you, you are finished looking and don't need to try out any of the other 100 million possible choices on earth to see if they were equally "the one". But that doesn't mean there were not many other suitable mates. And that , to me, is where the soul mate romantic fantasy comes in. A person would need to be pretty difficult to be a suitable match for only one person among the entire globe-spanning mass of humanity.

My parents have been happily married for 60 years. I am sure they feel they found the right "one", but I have no doubt either of them could have found equally suitable mates elsewhere. Maybe even better! But it is meaningless speculation. They found a partnership that works and that is the end of the analysis.

Jesus! My Parents are married and alive and just celebrated their 50th Anniversary.

You guys lost the love somewhere.

Am I wrong, or is love an agreement and sex a payment?