By Andy Borowitz..(Andy is a comedian for people not familiar with him.)
Bush Refuses to Read McClellan's Book, Calling It 'A Book'
Puts Chances of Reading Book at Zero
On a day when Washington was abuzz with the news that former White House
spokesperson Scott McClellan had published a tell-all memoir, President
George W. Bush offered his personal reason for not reading it.
"I have no intention of reading Scott McClellan's book," Mr. Bush told
reporters, "because it's a book."
Mr. Bush said he was "surprised" that Mr. McClellan had written a book
to criticize him because "if you're trying to communicate some criticism
to me, a book is pretty much the last place you'd put it."
The president said that he thought the chances of his someday reading
Mr. McClellan's book were "zero," adding, "If I didn't read the Iraq
Study Group's report, I really don't think I'm about to read Scott
McClellan's little book."
Presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota
observed that if Mr. McClellan honestly expected his memoir to somehow
reach Mr. Bush's nightstand, "that demonstrates just how little he knows
George W. Bush."
"Scott McClellan would have had a much better shot if he had put his
memoir in Xbox 360 format and then slipped it into a package labeled
'Grand Theft Auto 5,'" he said.
For his part, Mr. Bush said that there was in fact a book published this
week that had caught his eye: the new James Bond thrilled entitled
"Devil May Care."
