Third Draft of USA Today Ad -- Close to final!!

[Duckman]

I thought all 3 versions were good.

My minor suggestion: to balance the text on the right that reads "Ron Paul - The only anti-war, small-government, fiscally conservative Republican running for president", how about on the left: "Ron Paul - A truly honest public servant who isn't afraid to speak the truth and take action, no matter how politically inconvenient."

Also, this might have been debated already but I think "Ron Paul will bring our troops home NOW and keep us out of entangling alliances" might make the casual observer think Ron Paul plans to put all American treaties in the shredder. Instead, I would just say "Ron Paul will bring our troops home and work to keep us out of future entanglements."

 

[Slist]

Is the idea of organizing the faces to draw attention inward abandoned? I didn't read the full 2nd thread.

I second that. That's really the only thing that annoys me.. I find that quite important although it might look as if it was a small thing

 

[wisen]

Wonderful improvements

For balance in the area of Dr. Paul's picture--
How about adding to the left of Dr. Paul's picture--

--Ron Paul--A man of true integrity with a vision of peace & prosperity for the 21st Century!

 

[fcofer]

New & Improved:

Eyes all facing forward! [image]

Lower section less cluttered! [image]

Excellent. The forward-facing eyes grab your attention -- I noticed it in the image before I read your caption!

Now that I'm looking at it again, I wonder if the asterisks on column headers should go. Does anyone else think that they are just adding clutter? Same thing for the stars by the dividing line.

 

[Ron Paul in 2008]

New & Improved:

Eyes all facing forward!

Lower section less cluttered!

The bottom part is much clearer. I like it better. I love the eyes to the founders. They really come out and grab you. However I have another suggestion:

We should remove "Ron Paul is an honest and principled man of integrity." The heading says "Why Ron Paul received 8 million dollars" and then we should just list why. Lets make the reader find out themselves rather than just telling them. We basically told them what the paragraphs say and basically tell them to not read the information that shows he is principled, honest etc.

Also when it says "Paul for by Lawrence Lepard, a concerned American." Maybe it should be changed to a worried American? If it said worried it would definitely grab my attention.

 

[lastnymleft]

Story on the NEW phone number, 1-877-RON-PAUL:
http://www.dailypaul.com/taxonomy/term/655

 

[Ethek]

I just wanted to voice that I think this is great and I can only speculate on the agonizing and scrutiny you are putting on the ad yourself. Its a major, major contribution. I think it will benefit the effort a great deal by giving the pundits something to talk about! Theres a big gap between now and the 16th, or even the Dec 4th debates for that matter. This will get major media coverage. It's almost unprecedented.

 

[fletcher]

Looks great. Just some suggestions of others that I liked:
Change the founding fathers to face center
Straighten out 'We The People', or maybe even change it to the actual text

 

[Devon]

Free trade

The sentences about NAFTA and "free trade" are misleading. They give the impression, to the person unfamiliar with Paul's policies, that he's against free trade. Just putting "free trade" in quotes is not communicative enough. The U.S. would actually be more interdependent with other nations because Paul is for free trade. If it's going to be said that the borders would be closed, then it needs to be mentioned that trade would not be restricted. The way it's written sounds like Paul is a protectionist.

 

[DesertRat]

Looking good

I'd still remove the links to daily paul and stop dreaming, and recommend changing the word legions but am not sure what to suggest. Also, I don't think we granted the government the authority to take our money. We certainly do allow it though.

 

[wisen]

usually post on dailypaul

Changes look great.

For balance in the area of Dr. Paul's picture

How about adding to the left of Dr. Paul's picture

--Ron Paul--A man of true integrity with a vision of peace and prosperity for the 21st Century!

 

[fcofer]

The sentences about NAFTA and "free trade" are misleading. They give the impression, to the person unfamiliar with Paul's policies, that he's against free trade. Just putting "free trade" in quotes is not communicative enough. The U.S. would actually be more interdependent with other nations because Paul is for free trade. If it's going to be said that the borders would be closed, then it needs to be mentioned that trade would not be restricted. The way it's written sounds like Paul is a protectionist.

+1

 

[Richandler]

Is thing going to be okay for reading purposes. It looks like it will end up being tiny font all over.

 

[angrydragon]

The point of the ad is to reach as many people as possible correct? If some of the content is removed to make a cleaner, more readable ad, then it's probably worth removing.

 

[work2win]

Man, this thing just keeps getting better!

What I am really digging:

-all eyes forward
-consolidated body w/conspiracy stuff removed
-changed tone away from the founders giving us a lecture
-more whitespace
-the powerful and attention getting centered section around and including RP's picture


Concerns:

-don't like "please donate"

-concerned about the "doesn't take money from lobbyists" part

-symmetry is powerful, and the main part of the ad is very symmetrical, save the piece of text to the right of RP's photo. Either add something to the left for balance, or remove the part to the right to increase focus on his picture and "we the people." I prefer removing the part to the right, because I think that simplicity in that section is stronger.

- don't like "why about 100,000 individuals donated 8 million recently." The "about" part doesn't flow, and I hope we are 100% sure there were 100,000 UNIQUE individual donors. I would say just leave this out since we already include something about the 5th.

 

[Ron Paul Fan]

I actually agree with the "doesn't take money from lobbyists." When and where has he ever said this? Can you give me a link? I thought he took money from anybody and everybody, but lobbyists know that he's not going to cater to their special interests so they don't give him money. He's not like the others in that regard, but I've never seen where he's said he won't take their money if they're stupid enough to give it to him.

 

[Devon]

i'll help

I'm a great writer and am willing to work one-on-one with the person that's controlling this ad. I'm very familiar with Paul's positions and philosophy, and I guarantee the wording will be accurate and highly effective. Let me know.

 

[jmunjr]

Well Ron Paul won't end birthright citizenship for illegals. That will require the states to support and amendment(as Paul says). I guess there isn't much choice on what it should say though...

 

[work2win]

The sentences about NAFTA and "free trade" are misleading. They give the impression, to the person unfamiliar with Paul's policies, that he's against free trade. Just putting "free trade" in quotes is not communicative enough. The U.S. would actually be more interdependent with other nations because Paul is for free trade. If it's going to be said that the borders would be closed, then it needs to be mentioned that trade would not be restricted. The way it's written sounds like Paul is a protectionist.

I agree. How about changing it to something like:

so-called "free trade" under NAFTA

 

[dt_]

Do we really need some five different websites on the ad? Why not just RP2008 and TeaParty07?

Also,

Urgent: I found a typo ... the word "or" should be "of" in the "foreign entanglements" "warned us" section near the top.