The problem with the person who wrote the letter at the campaign is that they don't understand basic sales copy. You don't ask someone to come to the straw poll in the beginning. You use that as your call to action at the very END of the letter. I hope whoever wrote that doesn't write anything else for them because it's really bad in my opinion.
If you got a letter in the mail from someone at a car dealership and his second sentence was, please buy a $24,000 Camry from me! Would you be persuaded to care? Nope you would throw out the letter.
Edit: I am not saying your letter is bad Mport. I know you basically copied the general idea from the campaign letter. I just don't like the example the campaign gave us.
Here is what I would write. This is just using your letter, but I cut some things and moved it around. Rough copy of course.
My name is Mitch, and I am a volunteer writing to you in support of Congressman Ron Paul. I am not affiliated with his campaign, I'm just a regular guy who feels that Dr. Paul's message for the advancement of personal freedoms and protection of the Constitution is more than worth the time it will take to write this letter. Ron Paul is a 10th term Congressman running for President and (add more about him that you find important). Despite the lack of major media attention, Paul's unique and consistent message has taken the Internet by storm, as he leads all Republican candidates in official site visits, social network supporters, and video views. He is attracting tens of thousands of loyal supporters, and now has more cash-on-hand than McCain.
If you're eager to learn more, I would recommend his website, ronpaul2008.com. If you believe in tax reform and protecting our Constitution, I believe that Congressman Paul is the only way to achieve those goals. To RSVP for the straw poll, go to his website and click the Iowa link at the top. There is a fund being raised for those who cannot afford straw poll tickets. Please visit ronpaulstrawpoll.blogspot.com for details.
I hope you can join me in my support. You are personally invited to join his supporters at the Iowa Straw Poll in Ames on Saturday, August 11th from 10-6 PM. I am VERY thankful that you took the time to read my letter (and poor handwriting). See you at the straw poll!
Don't tell people how much the straw poll costs. That's kind of weird in my opinion. If they are interested let them find out on their own. I fixed a few sentences that were run ons or just sounded weird.