Anti Globalist
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If you split 300 pounds of rice with 30 people in Africa what does each have?
Aids.
Aids.
Post a Joke, Best Joke gets a +Rep!
- Thread starter DamianTV
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Dr.3D
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Looks like she has found an interesting place to put her napkin.
Maybe she thinks that will keep the spaghetti sauce out of her hair.
Anti Globalist
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Whats white on top and black on the bottom?
Society.
Society.
Suzanimal
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I'm not sure what to make of this joke. The first time I read it, I was like
but I kept coming back and rereading it and, for some reason, it got funnier and funnier until I was laughing and snorting. Maybe it's my flu brain but another +rep for AG. Laughter is the best medicine, after all.
Anti Globalist
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Well its been said that laughter can increase your overall lifespan. Don't know exactly how true that is but if thats the case you can personally thank me for adding a couple more years to your life.I'm not sure what to make of this joke. The first time I read it, I was like
Anti Globalist
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Why did the boy cover himself with gift wrap?
His mom told him to live in the present.
His mom told him to live in the present.
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Suzanimal
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I suspect your jokes are just cancelling out my poor lifestyle choices.
This one's just okay. I generally prefer my jokes to be complete nonsense. I think my favorite is the dead babies in the bathtub joke. I tried telling it to my friend and she wouldn't even let me get to the punchline. She doesn't like dead baby jokes. I might have to reevaluate our friendship.
Another thing I love is saying idioms all wrong and mispronouncing words on purpose. Try it, you should see the looks people give you. Back when I was dating, I used to do it to poor men who asked me out on dates. It used to crack me up that no one ever corrected me, lol. I remember poor Mr A taking me out for "I-talian" food and saying "par-me-see-n". Poor man was biting his lip trying not to smile. The trick is to be very serious when you say it and you can't slip up and say the right way or you'll ruin it.
Suzanimal
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I can't believe you had to explain that one to me the other night in chat. Maybe it was because I was using the handle Willie with tan lines and not Suzanimal. I was too busy testing the theory that tan lines work in all Willie Nelson songs.
Superfluous Man
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CaptUSA
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Suzanimal
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This is a keeper. I'm going to tell it at work tomorrow. Where the heck is Damien? These jokes are gold.
Suzanimal
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The stick joke went over well and I got the chance to tell the dead babies in a bathtub joke but no one got it. 
My wife was threatening to leave me because of my misogyny. The next day I found her having sex with the neighbor..
All I could yell was "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PROPERTY"
My wife was threatening to leave me because of my misogyny. The next day I found her having sex with the neighbor..
All I could yell was "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PROPERTY"
Anti Globalist
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How do you stop a baby from crying?
Hit it with a brick.
Hit it with a brick.
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