One Year Anniversary for the Revolution March!

[Oyate]

You are such a goof, Oyate! In all seriousness, if ever I do another event of this magnitude, I would hope to have you as the logistics officer again. You and your team did a magnificent job of planning. You put together a very loyal and disciplined team and they did their job like pros.

I have a really cool pic of you and your team (as well as a DC officer) escorting Doc Paul out of the staging area. I know you very much value your privacy, but I would love to post it.

I love seeing pics of the marshals and medics but the process of "escorting" Dr. Paul off the stage was a near debacle. I think the good Dr. thought I was a jerk. But I saw this surging mass of people rushing forward to greet him and one thing we thought of from a security standpoint was to get our Doc in and out of there as fast as we could. And get him out of there fast was about all we could do.

Right about now the DC Capitol Hill police are in full protective mode and there are in fact snipers on roof tops. Kinda tense. So we got him out of there with all expediency. And then I turned back with my bullhorn and did what nobody wants to do. Stand in the face of pure joy of hundreds of activists and say "sorry folks, he's gone, he's outa here, nothing to see here, please step back"

And I saw hundreds of smiles turn into hundreds of frowns. Pure disappointment. There's really no way for me to say sorry. We had a responsibility for safety and we took it seriously, including out top asset, Dr. Paul. The fact that you all did not get to meet him hurts me as it does you. And BTW, I did not get Dr. Paul's signature or a pic with me and him. I and the marshals were there to do a specific job.

But one of us got through. One young marine did it for all of us. He identified me somehow and said that no matter what, he was going to represent his team in Iraq, that he had come back alive and nothing but nothing was going to stop him from shaking Dr. Paul's hand and telling him thanks.

And the guy kept badgering me as we set up our security line. So finally I broke down. I told him I couldn't give him prefferential treatment, but I told him which way we would be exiting the stage and where he could get a hit in.

I could have blown security right there but there was no mistaking the truth in this young marine.

And then in the press of events I forgot all about it. Until that moment when I wanted nothing but to rush Dr. Paul off the stage, man we got Capitol Hill PD at this point, we have a security line but I see this rush of people up the surrounding side walks like a tidal wave and I'm shouting "faster, faster, keep moving" and this marine practically paratroops right in front of our wedge formation but I know the kid so we don't kill him. And he got his shot in. He said "Dr. Paul on behalf of my brothers serving in Iraq, you are my hero" and he got his hand shake with Dr. Paul. And Dr. Paul, as much as we were rushing him, returned this honour with a hand shake. I think they got a bit of an embrace in there.

I was and am very glad for that because this young marine looked me right in the eyes and said "I don't care what you do or say, I'm going to shake Ron Paul's hand today for my brothers". And he said "I'm not going to let anything stop me". Well he didn't. Frankly on that day, I'm not sure our non-violent team of marshals could have stopped a fully dedicated warrior such as this. Good thing he was on our side.

UNITED STATES MARINES SEMPER FI.

This man did this for all of you. That was your hand shake. Gung ho Marines. Come home in one piece and if you don't, we'll take you back in pieces. Much love brothers.

 

[Oyate]

Sorry if I go off topic, but the whole R3VOlUTOIN March thing came off to me like a perfect object lesson in contemporary direct action. And not entirely by my doing, but we came together for a specific mission and purpose, and once accomplished, we dissolved the "organization" and settled accounts. Oddly, the settling of accounts took us longer than the whole planning and execution stages of the actual event itself!

Incredibly, one of the last accounts settled was because somebody walked off with one of the high-powered walkie talkies we had rented and the replacement cost was like $600! And then this endless series of SNAFUS came down to the stupid hotel rooms because apparently we had this special rate that only got applied to some people and holy cow, as I think of it, the level of misunderstandings that went down in the normal course of communications was kind of like a disaster behind closed doors.

Oh yeah and the wars. Go ahead, try to take a national initiative and just wait for how many people hate you.

I had it really easy through that whole event. I'm a veteran street organizer. I was in my element.
we trained 34 of the first semi-professionalized team of direct-action specialists the movement has ever seen and we were in full effect. I got to work with super-stars. The best of the best.

And when, oh brothers and sisters, I had the logistics team set up and we were in mode, one of my marshalls, when I asked them for a location said "pick up your head, you should see us coming now" and then my eyes beheld a holy host, a great host. "Our God is the Lord of Hosts. Of whom shall I be afraid?".

"I will lift up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my salvation"

 

[Hoot]

Wells I remember it a bit different from Bryan and Deb. See, there I was minding my own business, being a R3VOlUTIONARY when these bunch of obviously inpept morons come rushing up screaming "we don't know what we're doing, aaaaaaaah" and I was like "relax, calm down, stop screaming, it's de-oxygenating your blood flow".

From there, due to my single-handed but intangible influence, this motley crew of loosers became the crack team of psuedo-professional assassins they are today. Because let me tell you, before I got to this crew, they had no idea what battle formation was or how to form a skirmish line. Their handling of automatic weapons was at best sloppy and they trigger-bashed every time in simulations. But finally we became, by degrees, a competent firing team at least to the squad level.

So now I wouldn't even think about infiltrating a government facility without this crew.

Oh wait, you guys are talking about the march? Never mind. Different action.

I taught Oyate everything he knows!!!

 

[Hoot]

Hey Bryan, thanks for your input. Great post!

Edit: Primbs, who is a member here was a most valued advisor to me! He was our expeditor. He was very instrumental in obtaining our permits, surveying the rally and march locations, and advising on fundraising. Primbs, I have a picture of you too, that I'd like to post.

OMG! George I can't believe I did not put you on the list. Thank you for everything you did for us, I feel like a dummy now. You were awesome George and we couldn't of done it with out you.

 

[Oyate]

OMG! George I can't believe I did not put you on the list. Thank you for everything you did for us, I feel like a dummy now. You were awesome George and we couldn't of done it with out you.

George was our stick and rod guy and he's also our team explosives and demolitions expert. You think he walks around chewing gum but it's actually C-4-B chemical explosives. It has to be constantly masticated or it turns volatile when it solidifies but that's not why we recruited him. George's main trick is the Jeddi mind control thing which is how we got our permits. That and the fact that wherever George goes he is accompanied by a bevvy of super models. Frankly we could have got any of a dozen of people that know the Jeddi mind trick but just show me one (besides George) that comes complete with super models!

 

[Oyate]

Here I'll write the official bios. Next up is Rayzer.

 

[Oyate]

Rayzer comes from a planet just left of the pleades system and he is in fact a reptilian. The biggest single problem with Ray was sending him to a spa where they loofad his scales off. But once we got through that hard, scaley exterior, we found a very soft and tender person underneath. Which naturally pissed Ray completely off because he wants to be known as a person with a tough exterior. Like he could have told us that before we spend $3k of the R3VOlUTION's money on a freaking health spa. Regardless, Ray got even by broadcasting every single event leading up to and including the march and then he went and sulked in a hotel room for 6 hours and nobody could figure out what was wrong with him until he suddenly declared "screw this, I can get just as many super models as Primbs" and son of a gun, he did. That's why we all started calling him RIP or R.I.P. which doesn't stand for "rest in peace" in Ray's case, but rather "rolling in putang".

Ray the post reptilian super-model wrangler.

 

[Oyate]

Catherine's bio.

We chose Catherine because of her unique ability to shape-shift and her capabilities to do close-quarters combat. Her weapon of choice is her voice which she can infinitely configure to be either soothing, annoying or a combination of both which leaves all enemies and friends alike almost paralitically confused. One of her most impressive tricks is when she uses her bio-mimetic skin to literally disappear into wall paper. Because of this, Catherine has the dirt on everybody in the movement. And far from recognizing her truly insidious nature, everybody thinks she is adorable and our research shows that over 79.95% of the movement is in love with her and that's just the way we want it. With Catherine, we truly PWN.

 

[Oyate]

Core team bio:

For the core team we picked the biggest bunch of disreputable mutants we could find but we had one requirement: they all had to be hot homosexuals so everybody would want them but nobody could have them. There was a reason for this: we were all getting dunk and high and ripping our clothes off and having sex the whole time we were in DC. The truth is the board, the entire board, not one of us even made it to the march. We heard it went ok. This is down to the core team whom we worked 24 hours a day without thanks or pay. Because each of them was also hand-selected for their unique properties of gullibility. Each of them was told that they got to stay with us at the swank hotel only to find that yes, we did have a room for them at the hotel. IN THE KENNEL IN THE GARAGE. Plus they had to scavenge for their own food and we charged them for toilet paper. But in truth, the core team did all the work. Which was a good thing because we had to find time to count our millions while having sex and ordering up more champagne.

 

[Oyate]

Deb's bio:

Out of all the board, Deb did not fit the mold. We had to petition for a special exemption for her because chiefly, the board (Cath excepted when she is wearing her adorable costume) were selected for our notable ugliness. I myself pursue ugly to a science and Hoot is my mentor and example in this regard. But Deb, and I shit you not, is a BURNING HOTTIE. So just to make things extra complicated, we brought her husband along for the ride.

Things very nearly got out of hand and the board actually had to do some work for a change because the men and women of the movement, the second the march was over, came as a massive human flood to salivate over Deb and we started shooing them away then we started swatting them with news papers and at one point Bryan actually broke a sweat and said "I don't know how much longer we can keep them back" and I said "don't worry, I know what to do".

I sent a taxi driver to the Potomac river where they rent out boats and I gave him $300 of the R3VOlUTION's money to rent all the canoe paddles he could find and he returned and Bryan and I found that beating back the slobbering millions of perverts that constitute the movement with canoe paddles to be way more effective than newspapers. That kept you miscreants back for a while and then we resorted to firearms. And let me tell you something: some doubted the wisdom of me bringing the AKs into DC where they are outlawed but in this single event I was vindicated.

 

[Oyate]

Hoot's bio:

Not many people know this but Hoot is actually a monarchist. That's not entirely accurate actually because Hoot is a monarch. He is Bryanus Rex and he lords over the kingdom of Brytain. Hail Brytania!

I am a knight of the kingdom of Brytania. Or I'm trying to be. This is the dirty secret of the former organization of R3VOlUTION March. We don't give a fig for the republic or representative democracy, we're monarchists. Bryan is my sovereign lord and I am but his humble servant, his chattle.

My liege, my sovereign is a man of great dignity and kindness. Bryanus Rex is without doubt blessed by God and he constitutes both state and religion seamlessly as sovereign. He is the head of the Holy Church of Brytan and as such, not only has he forgiven me of all sin, he made me a Cardinal and I get to wear a big red hat which you can clearly see in all pictures of me at the event in DC except when we were in the jacuzzi because it looses it's shape. The hat that is. Everthing else was in perfect shape or form as one might describe it.

But my role as knight of the realm authorizes me, on behalf of His Majesty, Bryanus Rex, to tell all people that you can apply to be a citizen of His realm by sending pics to Hoot and a short essay about why you want to be part of sovereign Brytain and why you should be. Also send pics of your posessions which will be formally rendered unto His Majesty, but don't worry, he won't take most of your swank because he already has everything. He's a freaking king already.

 

[Oyate]

My wife and kids bio:

I'd like to say it was board-approved for me to drag the wife and kids along, but in the dimension humans call "truth", it was my parent's idea at the last moment to burden me with my family, for they knew that all I would be doing was sex and drugs and infidelity without them and I must say, I had to be creative to work around them.

Fortunately for me, the whole movement, R3VOlUTION and Ron Paul inclusive, drives my wife and kids right up a tree so the whole time they did their best to behave as though I did not exist and where this was impossible, Catherine used her bio-mimetic capabilities to make them indistinguishable from the wall paper. For the rest of it, my wife used her awesome parenting skills to control the kids through sheer exhaustion, dragging them through every sight, every museum, every landmark until they fell down under the shade of a tree with their little tongues hanging out of their panting mouths.

This so impoverhished their bodies that it stunted their growth and we didn't have to buy new clothes for them for a whole year after that.

Listen and learn young parents. This is how you gain and maintain control of your kids: starve them into submission. It worked for the soviets in the gulags and it can work for you too.

 

[Deborah K]

OMG!!!! Oyate you have come unhinged!! LOL!!!!

 

[Hoot]

OMG!!!! Oyate you have come unhinged!! LOL!!!!

Ray where did you find this guy?

 

[Deborah K]

Ray where did you find this guy?

LOL!!! Hey Bryan!