marriage

[otherone]

I have to possess her. It's like the most constistent and overwhelming impulse that I have ever had. What does that have to do with then blinding myself to sexual signals from other potential mates? By marrying her I did intend to make her the only woman with whom I have sex, but that doesn't mean I am going to pretend that every other ass between me and the horizon is not worth a look.

are you familiar with Marcus Aurelius?

 

[jmdrake]

I have a wife for 7 years now- been having some issues I suppose; nothing serious, but worthy of consideration that merits pauses and reflection, and counsel.

So I think to myself, "That's cool- I will just ask a good husband about his marriage."

So that was maybe 7 or 8 weeks ago. I still can't think of a good husband that I know. Which is to say, one who is happy with his wife, and not commiting adultery.

Which leads me to fear that marriage is a total scam, and that I am doomed. Not that the wife is anything but lovely, but the institution itself truly feels like a means for the ruling class to farm out enforcement to unpaid agents who are nevertheless invested in my conformity to its dictates.

What do you folks think of it?

I'm confused. If you are happily married, then why do you think marriage is a scam? That would be like saying "I may 1 billion dollars in Amway, but nobody else I know has, so it must be a scam."

 

[BetterCallSaul]

well I am happily coupled with a woman, called my wife. That whole label-concept, organizational structure thing doesn't really move my heart or penis- she does.

But it took being married and having such a relationship to reveal the degree to which society is made out of bullshit, at the expense of real relationships. I suppose that's the rub.

 

[otherone]

It is fascinating to me, and getting closer to the root of the issues of the discussion, that so many comments are entirely appeals to fear of punishment.

Wow.
You don't get it.
You say you want to "possess" your wife.
Fair enough. Would you do something to compromise her trust in you? Or you don't give a shit what she feels? Do you not care id you're married to her?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Well her trust is hers. It is based on her own upbringing and relationships, not my behavior. That's why shitbags who run around fathering children with other women are still trusted, while well-house-broken and domesticated caring husbandly types can still be NOT trusted.

and yeah, "possession" is a good word; when I met her, and still today, the thought of her with another man literally makes my throat vibrate like when a dog growls threateningly. I would use my teeth to keep suitors away.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

are you familiar with Marcus Aurelius?

when I was younger. Why do you ask?

 

[otherone]

when I was younger. Why do you ask?

He wrote that where the mind goes the body follows (or something to that effect). On the nature of temptation, the more you seek involvement in your extra-marital relationship, the more inclined you will be to justify committing adultery. It's human nature, and you'll get to a point where you'll say to yourself, "I'd be stupid not to.", and you will feel you've done nothing wrong, provided your wife never finds out.
If I may ask, how old are you? Do you have any male role models?

 

[Seraphim]

You guys do realize that OP was the most obvious troll of all troll threads, right?

This is trolltastic to the Nth degree and the vortex is sucking you in.

 

[Carlybee]

Carlybee, you are basically saying that married-people-sex is supposed to be some secret coven about which none dare speak. This is the most anonymous possible forum for discussing...If you disagree with anonymous, undocumented screen-names discussing it, I am assuming that you disapprove of it as a topic of conversation in my real life with real people that know the two of us. So, why is it supposed to be some big secret conspiracy?

I'm saying it's disrespectful to discuss intimate details about your wife on a public forum whether anonymous or not. However seeing that you appear to be more dense than a box of rocks I really don't expect you to get it.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

He wrote that where the mind goes the body follows (or something to that effect). On the nature of temptation, the more you seek involvement in your extra-marital relationship, the more inclined you will be to justify committing adultery. It's human nature, and you'll get to a point where you'll say to yourself, "I'd be stupid not to.", and you will feel you've done nothing wrong, provided your wife never finds out.
If I may ask, how old are you? Do you have any male role models?

There is wisdom and truth in that. Damn rep limits!!

I'm 32, and, I didn't think that you could exist except in isolation without role models. Obviously my dad and other male family members to whom I was exposed as an impressionable child. Probably some male teachers/my principal as a kid. The older guys on the block.

If you mean that in an abstract sense, a great many. If we are counting fictional characters, that number stretches into the dozens and dozens.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I'm saying it's disrespectful to discuss intimate details about your wife on a public forum whether anonymous or not. However seeing that you appear to be more dense than a box of rocks I really don't expect you to get it.

disrespectful to who? It's in the Off-Topic forum, so not you or other posters. No one is being misled or tricked or harassed. You just need to loosen up baby girl lol

 

[Nirvikalpa]

Something like this maybe.

First of all, again let me clarify- my marriage is not in trouble. I love my wife and look forward to most moments with her, and it seems to be the same on her end. I just meant that the concept of marriage is in danger to me, like in my own mind- none of the things that might sustain it mean anything to me anymore.

But your scenario is interesting because my wife actually loves my "girlfriend."* It is very confusing to me and strange and unsettling and...terrifying?

Once not too long ago, maybe 2 years ago, my wife fought me for an entire week because, when passing sheep in a car, I said, "Whoa that's hot." (they looked like ass-cheeks and fat rolls the way they were huddled together- it was like girl flesh pile). I have a friend from college, a female, that my wife hates with an undying bitterness, because once she saw that girl talking to me while reclining in a sexual pose.

She is an alpha-female, if there is a common understanding of what such a thing is- like she loves status competition and being the dominant woman (not in a sexual way, like in terms of status relationships and attractiveness rating).

But this girl that I have been hanging around with, she is always cool about- usually if I mention a girl's name in conversation, my wife's ears go back, her head dips, her jaw and chest tightens, and I can hear the fangs coming out. It's like lycanthropy. In the case of this girl though, she is always all smiles and encouragement and genuine good will. I even ditched the wife last week on her day off (which is sacred to her and she regularly demands of me my presence throughout the day for all manner of innane recreation), she was cool about it and encouraged me.

It's already a joke between me and my friends, how terrifying and suspicious such behavior is.


*
me and this girl aren't in any way sexually anything together, but our relationship is still courtshipy tasting, and sometimes she is pretty forward about how bad she wants it.

and yeah, "possession" is a good word; when I met her, and still today, the thought of her with another man literally makes my throat vibrate like when a dog growls threateningly. I would use my teeth to keep suitors away.

So, it's unfair for her to be jealous of possible other suitors, but perfectly acceptable for you to be jealous of any of her possible suitors?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I was only saying how it is weird to me that she is not jealous of this girl, not speaking against the fact that she gets jealous.

 

[Seraphim]

Lol OP Neg repped me and said "Coward and Loser" for my troll comment.

Troll confirmed.

hahaha

 

[Nirvikalpa]

I was only saying how it is weird to me that she is not jealous of this girl, not speaking against the fact that she gets jealous.

She may be lightyears ahead of you, and already seeing somebody else, and knows you're losing the "game."

 

[Carlybee]

You guys do realize that OP was the most obvious troll of all troll threads, right?

This is trolltastic to the Nth degree and the vortex is sucking you in.

Definitely qualifies for Worst Thread Evarrrr

 

[otherone]

I'm 32, and, I didn't think that you could exist except in isolation without role models. Obviously my dad and other male family members to whom I was exposed as an impressionable child. Probably some male teachers/my principal as a kid. The older guys on the block.

If you mean that in an abstract sense, a great many. If we are counting fictional characters, that number stretches into the dozens and dozens.

What an unusual response. I didn't ask if you've had male role models in the past. I'm asking if you have any now. Real people, not fiction.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

She may be lightyears ahead of you, and already seeing somebody else, and knows you're losing the "game."

I consider that also, sure. The chances of it even appearing on a probability graph are so small because of her schedule- she could only pull this off if she is literally dosing me with sleeping drugs and sneaking out at night. Or, is fucking one of the little mexicans at the warehouse where she works.

But it is possible, sure.

My point though is that I was not condemning her jealous feelings, only expressing confusion that they are selectively absent, and that this one girl is the one exception ever. I described her jealousy in an alpha-context that I thought was empowering and flattering to her even.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

What an unusual response. I didn't ask if you've had male role models in the past. I'm asking if you have any now. Real people, not fiction.

oh...I thought that role models entrench themselves as behavior patterns in childhood and adolescence.

Now, no. I know few men that I admire even a little bit.

edit: mostlly because they are in unhappy and demeaning relationships

 

[Carlybee]

disrespectful to who? It's in the Off-Topic forum, so not you or other posters. No one is being misled or tricked or harassed. You just need to loosen up baby girl lol

Disrespectful to your wife duh. And I have a grown son so hardly a "baby girl". Were you by any chance in the cast of "Jersey Shore"?