The best of chuck norris jokes
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
For every person Mother Nature kills, Chuck Norris kills five.
When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris
There's no such things as a disabled persion. Only those Chuck Norris got mad at