How do you deal with anger?

[Working Poor]

2.) Meditation. I've tried it before, but in the past I've found it quite difficult to calm my thoughts without some sort of physical distraction.

Focus on your breath keep your mouth closed and breath thru your nose and let it out thru your mouth. Breath is the link between the spirit and the body.

 

[VIDEODROME]

Another thing that might help is regular doses of good comedy. Either funny movies or drive listening to good stand-up comedy albums.

Maybe try some Lewis Black. You don't have to work up anger he does it for you.

 

[Jonathanm]

When I'm really downhearted and disgusted with humanity (which is damn near every day lately), I try to funnel all that anger into my writing.

I write fiction as a hobby, but lately I haven't been doing it so much... I should start up again.

Here are some natural supplements that can help keep you calm but not feel like a zombie like prescription drugs do!

Thanks! I'll check these things out. Do any of these have possible negative side effects? I have digestive/stomach acid problems, so I don't want to exacerbate them if possible. Can they be made into a tea? I find that warm drinks can help calm me, so that might be double-duty.

Another thought that comes to mind is getting involved in some sort of martial arts.

Another thing I've been dying to get into. Right now, I feel I might be too overweight to do martial arts in any effective manner, but I've been losing about ten pounds a month, and I could certainly try it. Can one learn martial arts on their own time? I like to learn things through reading, and self practice, rather than traditional teacher-based environments.

It is important to realize that anger, like anxiety, carries with it a physiological response within your body involving a release of adrenalin and other stress hormones. This is the reason the physical impulse to hit, destroy, or smash things is so difficult to manage. This is an instinct referred to "fight or flight". The physiological response for fighting vs taking flight is the same within the body. The difference between problematic/unjustified anger and anxiety lies in the thoughts that lead up to that physical experience. Those thoughts trigger the response.

Right. I have anxiety problems as well. Lately it seems my traditional anxiety has lessened (In the panic attack sense), but my anger has increased. Could it be that in fighting my panic attacks, I've turned them into rage attacks?

Usually it's stupid little things that set me off. For instance, my job requires me to close and lock a set of gates so the cows don't get out. After walking through a half mile of what is basically a river of shit, I found someone had attached the chain too tightly to the latch, and was impossible to pry loose. Thus, I was stuck walking back through the river of shit, clenching my fists and cursing like a sailor the entirety of the way. Perhaps part of this is related to scent, too? The shit river is probably one of the more offensive things I've ever smelled, and I have an incredibly sensitive nose, to the point where I've very nerely vomited. Plus, I hate that the cows are locked up in these shit-filled pens, and aren't allowed to roam free, and eat a grass based diet.

I'll have to try some nice scents. Are there any essential oils that would be safe to rub under my nose before I trek the river of shit? Are there any specifications on the oils I need to look for, or are all essential oils relatively equal?

I also got to thinking it could also possibly be a magnesium deficiency.

Just read the symptoms... I have basically all of them, including the muscle twitches. Not that my symptoms are necessarily a result of magnesium deficiency, but definitely worth a look. Thanks a bunch. Can magnesium be easily obtained through foods, or will I likely need to take supplements of some sort? Damn, it's embarrassing how little I seem to know about nutrition.

Cannabis Sativa

True facts. To everyone mentioning cannabis, I completely agree. Cannabis helps me a lot in my down time, but it doesn't do much for me when I'm at work, or when I need to be driving places. Plus, I have to seriously monitor my cannabis consumption, as I'm not in a medicinal state, and I can't take the risk of growing it. Mere possession would probably get me a slap on the wrists, as I've never had any other offenses, not even a speeding ticket. Growing on the other hand would probably be an immediate felony, and I somehow doubt the cops would care even if it were just a single plant; to them, I'd still probably be some crazed drug lord trying to shoot venom into the veins of children, as opposed to a man who just wants to grow his own medicine.

I have many diversions...

LOL. Excellent.

I tend to go in more of an anxiety direction but sometimes it wants to morph into anger.

I have anxiety issues, or rather I did. Lately my issues seem to be coming out in anger ways, rather than panic attack ways. Perhaps I've simply switched from one type of attack to another.

As far as supplements go this powder makes a fizzy magnesium drink that is calming and helps your body relax (don't take more than recommended on the label or your bowels will go a bit nutty)

Does magnesium alter bowel functions, or acid functions? I have digestive issues, mainly acid related due to my lack of a gallbladder.

I try to get some comedy in every day. It isn't always successful, though. Sometimes I find I'm unable to laugh at things because my mood is so fowl. The great part here, though, is that a bit of cannabis, and even the dumbest things are funny... Anyways, I'll be trying many of these suggestions out, and hopefully I can find a way to reduce all of this annoying frustration.

 

[LibertyRevolution]

You need to learn to care less about things that you have no control over.
There is no benefit in being mad at the situation you are in if it is not within your control.

I would say no to the weapon and martial arts training until you can come to terms with whatever it is that pisses you off first.

It sounds to me like you suffer from stress and depression. Self caused/targeted anger is normal a sign of depression.
I would recommend a high THC strain of medical cannabis if that is legal in your state.

Meditation is prolly a not a good plan.
Sitting alone trying to clear your mind of what makes you mad is more than likely going to make you think about the crap that makes you mad...

Hiking can be fun, unless that leaves you alone with your thoughts.. which could end up worse...

Writing can work.. If you can learn to release your stress into the writing..
I always found writing worked better than meditating.

Here is an example of something I wrote 14 years ago...

I wait in a world of dark silence,
For the moment that I may be released from my misery,
My tortured soul screams for violence,
I fear the pain in my heart will consume me,
Every minute an eternity in this dark and unforgiving place,
This self-created hell is beginning to take its toll
Voices constantly remind me that my life has been a waste
There will be no salvation for my tortured soul.

As I read that and look back now, and I can't believe I let the world get me that down.

It's Life. It don't last long. Just try and enjoy it why you are here.
Go for a hike. Go appreciate it man. You only get one shot at this. Don't waste days being mad.

 

[culvereric]

Don't get mad. Get even.

 

[simon1911]

I blare my stereo with this on in a loop.

 

[otherone]

BOURBON

 

[donnay]

I write fiction as a hobby, but lately I haven't been doing it so much... I should start up again.



Thanks! I'll check these things out. Do any of these have possible negative side effects? I have digestive/stomach acid problems, so I don't want to exacerbate them if possible. Can they be made into a tea? I find that warm drinks can help calm me, so that might be double-duty.

Green tea has theanine in it. I would buy only organic green tea. Of course you have to drink a lot of it to get the calmness that theanine will give you. Valerian root has no none side effects and is gentle on the stomach. The only supplement I listed there that I would caution you about is Kava-Kava. It can take a toll on your liver if you use it too long or to excess.

If you have digestive issues, you might want to start a good probiotic. So that the good gut bacteria fights the bad gut bacteria. Your entire immune system relies on you to have a good gut.

Just read the symptoms... I have basically all of them, including the muscle twitches. Not that my symptoms are necessarily a result of magnesium deficiency, but definitely worth a look. Thanks a bunch. Can magnesium be easily obtained through foods, or will I likely need to take supplements of some sort? Damn, it's embarrassing how little I seem to know about nutrition.

Believe it or not most Americans are magnesium deficient. You can get it through food, yes, and according to USDA food charts the five foods with the highest magnesium per typical serving are:

Halibut
Mackeral
Boiled spinach
Bran breakfast cereal
Almonds

Foods with highest magnesium per milligram, regardless of typical intake, are:

Cocoa
Bran breakfast cereal
Almonds
Cashews
Pumpkin seeds

However, a lot of our farmlands have been stripped of their minerals. So you would have to eat a ton of the above items to get the required amount of magnesium in your diet. The current U.S. recommended daily allowance of magnesium for adults aged 31+ is:

420 mg per day for men
320 mg per day for women

Since we are so deficient it would take a lot to over dose on magnesium. If you have kidney problems you should check with a health practitioner before supplementing with magnesium due to the fact the kidneys need to process the mineral.

Does magnesium alter bowel functions, or acid functions? I have digestive issues, mainly acid related due to my lack of a gallbladder.

Magnesium citrate is good for those who are chronically constipated. Transdermal magnesium oil, I fine to be one of the best and you do not have to take a pill that may disrupt your digestive system. Again, if you have any kidney problems check with your health practitioner before taking any supplements.

Best wishes! I hope these suggestions help, but I would encourage you to research glutathione as well.

 

[DerailingDaTrain]

Exercise. I'm abnormal I guess because I'm happy most of the time but if I am mad or depressed (it can happen) I find that exercise (specifically hiking, biking, yoga, things like that) really helps but that could just be me being a nature lover. Having anything that you can do as a hobby will make you feel better (grow a garden, build a shed, improve something in your life). Also you could try cannabis.

 

[KCIndy]

I have many diversions...

GAAAACK!! AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!

Dammit, do you realize how many expensive therapy sessions it's gonna take to get THAT image out of my head???

BBBLLLLeeeeech!!!

 

[Johnny Appleseed]

wonder who took the picture?...his mom?

 

[Isaac Bickerstaff]

 

[Johnny Appleseed]

Its your ego that talks you into getting pissed off so tell your ego to get lost

 

[Acala]

Meditation WILL solve the problem at its root. But it won't be easy. So if you want an easy solution - like popping a pill like the rest of America - you can skip the rest of this message and good luck to you. You are going to need it.

If you decide you want to work at the root with meditation, get some instruction. Would you sit down at a piano for the first time and try to learn to play without any instruction? You wouldn't get very far. Meditation is simpler than playing a piano, but you still need to learn a proper technique and not just try to wing it. There are plenty of free resources for learning how to meditate. Here is one:
http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

You don't need to, or want to, sit down and try to force your mind into a state of calm. That just creates more tension and frustration. Instead, you are going to want to cultivate total acceptance for whatever you are experiencing, even mental chatter and difficult emotions.

Meditation consists of the development of three skills:

1. concentration (the ability to focus your attention where you want for as long as you want)

2. sensory clarity (the ability to be sensitive to what is actually happening in your sensory experience)

3. equanimity (the ability to accept your experience as it unfolds)

You develop these skills like any other - practice. So meditation consists of focusing your awareness on some aspect of sensory experience (the body sensations associated with the breath, for example) while maintaining an attitude of complete acceptance for your experience as it unfolds. That's it.

Simple. But not easy.

If you want to pursue this, you can PM me and I can help you.

Distraction isn't going to solve the problem. It merely postpones it.

 

[Shorty Dawkins]

Try sitting beside a stream, river or any moving water and looking into it. Let your focus drift to the movement you see. Pay attention to any natural (not man-made) sounds you hear, such as birds or even dogs barking. Bring your focus to only those two things. It is a sort of meditation that revolves around the natural world around us. Man has become disconnected from nature. It is nature that gives us what we need. Realize the infinite beauty and serenity that is Nature.

I hope this helps you.

Shorty Dawkins

 

[osan]

I have occasional days where anger completely ruins me. I do not direct anger at other people, but at myself in self destructive behaviors. Sometimes it's as if I'm feeling too much of the negatives in life. Our economy, lack of liberty, all of these things wear on me, and eventually I just blow up at myself or inanimate objects.

Unless there is something organically wrong with you, this becomes largely a matter of self control. Easy to say, not so easy to practice.

Getting into the habit of seizing yourself when anger erupts, or better yet when it begins brewing is the best way to approach this, but it may not be enough. Do you get enough exercise? That is also important.

Anger to some extent is healthy, I think, but my particular breed of anger is well beyond any therapeutic level.

It is good that you recognize this in yourself. That is the first step toward dealing with it.

I'm not worried that I'm a danger to myself, nor am I a danger to anyone else, but it still drives me absolutely crazy to feel so mad.

I fully relate to this. I have been good an pissed off on more occasions than I care to confess. I have also trod the path that is less than healthy to both myself and those around me. At some point you have to make a choice. A good place to begin is to ask whether being that pissed off is making anything better. If the answer is "no", then you have a strong basis for getting over whatever it is you are angry. Ask yourself what, if anything, can you do about it? If nothing, then you must step aside from yourself - picture it in your mind... actually stepping to the side of your body, leaving the cares of mundane life with the body and viewing the world with dispassion. Sounds corny and perhaps bunnies-n-light, but it definitely helps.

As such, I've decided to ask you all for your opinions. What can one like me do to decrease feelings of absolute rage?

Go out and volunteer to help people whose lives are FUCKED. They can be human or non-human people such as your choices may lean, though helping humans in at least some cases I recommend because humanity is almost certainly the root source of your anger. That is, human behaviors are. Human beings are cognitively hard-wired to extrapolate, abstract, and categorize. If a white man is mugged by a black man the mid-brain impulse is to be wary of black people. If a black man's brother gets lynched, he is likely to equate white people with lynching. This is a natural mechanism at work that needs a wee bit of help from the higher reasoning faculties. By seeing and helping the seeley and damaged humanity you can see with the eyes of your EMOTIONAL SELF that all people are not shyte. This in itself will not likely eliminate toxic anger, but should help you along the way.

Physical activity is key. Whatever floats your boat. Cycling, climibing, football, olympic sex training, whatever works and keeps you doing it. I like the sex part, to be frank.

I am a very strong advocate of the martial arts. I am in my 41st year. When I say "martial art" I mean the real deal and not the strip mall nonsense that amounts to not much more than a different form of exercise class. I mean true combat training such as jujutsu. My reasons include the fact that as one continues training in the arts of how to wreck and kill other human beings, a singular realization tends to present itself at some point. When we train and have these techniques executed upon us in greatly mitigated fashion, we experience in the flesh the reality of them and are able to extrapolate the horrors they present when executed with full force and intent. When that realization arrives, one's tendency toward anger is diminished through the augmented perspective that comes with knowing that as one perceives others as bountiful targets, so is one perceived by others. When one begins to appreciate the utter viciousness of the techniques and the horror of the injuries they produce, it becomes clear that peaceable living is indeed the greatest human virtue of all.

The art may not eliminate anger but it should help and should teach you how not to behave when angry. Violence is very dangerous stuff no matter how innocuous it may appear in a given instance. Violence is inherently non-linear and can spiral into lethal chaos before anyone realizes it. And appearances can be very deceptive. The most unassuming looking person may prove one's worst nightmare should one decide to pick a fight. An excellent example of this is Mr. James Loriega (google him). He is of rather small stature, perhaps under 5' in height and cuts no image of the tough hombre, yet were you to get in his face in anger chances odds are you would end up in the ER or the morgue. He is that well trained. I do not care how big you are or how young fast and strong. If you are bad enough to take James down, you will not be bad enough not to die with him. Of that I assure you. My point here is that you have a very unassuming appearance that belies the training contained in the package. Moral of the story: find more profitable ways of dealing with angry impulses.

The real bottom line is to find things that bring you calm and steady pleasure. I do black smithing and silver smithing, among other things. They usually help, but not always. Finally, realize that there will be those times when you are just going to be in a rage. Being human, we are all prone to this. Some people stuff it. Not sure that is good. Altering your perceptions of that which you see around you will be the greatest help. If what you see is no longer an outrage, then there is no reason to boil.

Just my worthless opinions, worth precisely that which you paid.