Draft of USA Today Ad

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What an awesome Forum.

A new draft is in the works.

A couple of changes........

FOR THE HARD CORE, PLEASE ACCEPT SOME DILUTION OF THE MESSAGE TO INCREASE THE APPEAL. WE ARE NOT COPPING OUT, WE ARE BEING SMART.

WE WANT RP TO WIN!

New Draft tomorrow.

LWL

Amen and thank for taking into consideration all the wise and thoughtful recommendations and critiques provided here!!!

can i hug you? :cool: i'm ok with guy hugs :p
 
Nice article.. Just would it be better to put Ron Paul A new hope instead of Stop Dreaming???

I like Stop Dreaming as well.

I have found (through various tests on friends that if you watch either, you can't help watching them all ;)
 
Thank you to all who committed time for this. It is a great opportunity for our message to be heard.
 
I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

My fear that Deadhead is oh so right seems to have instantiated. Perhaps the dead presidents will spark some interest; after all, people do love the Benjamins.
 
I don't like this at all. Too much. White space is what makes an ad powerful not a jumble of small type print that no one will read.

Perhaps you could purchase the adjacent page and write "See message to the right -->" surrounded by all the white space you want/ ;)

I do understand your point about white space, I have taken a few graphic design courses, but I think llepard needs to get his money's worth ;)

The only changes llepard plans on implementing that I don't agree with or should be added are:

the rearranging of bullets, I'm sure the official campaign put them the way they did for good reason.

not mentioning of that he is running for the Republican nomination

and if max and linda don't mind, then I don't think they should be mentioned in the ad. We all know it was max's original design, and we thank him for it, but the average reader won't care and it'll add to the clutter.

I also like the idea of adding a quote or two
 
What an awesome Forum.

LWL

You sir, are a Great American.

Are you sure you don't want any chipin help with the ad? There are a lot of us on the forum that could donate a rather modest $10.00 (for us), but when added up would take a serious bite out of the total cost.
I just worry about the hardcores like you and Roxic27 upheaving your lives over the campaign.
Anyway, just a thought.
 
He who pays the piper...

A new draft is in the works.
A couple of changes.
LWL

I haven't read this whole thread, but: LLepard, I admire your patience and receptivity to criticism, but don't feel you have to please everyone (impossible anyway). So far as I'm concerned, you're paying for the ad, your say is final on what should be in it. While I'm sure it could use improvement, it was already great, and could have run as it was just fine. Remember about that camel....*

An earlier version of this ad appeared in a New Hampshire paper a week or two ago; I have no idea how it went over with the sheeple, but I like the Founding Fathers and the hard-hitting flavor. However much we may wish otherwise, the freedom revolution isn't for everyone; all we need is enough to effect some real change (last I heard, only a tiny percentage of those eligible really vote, and in some states I think that tiny number may be swamped by all the new, fired-up RP supporters), and while some timid souls may be lost if they are confronted with more truth than they can deal with, others will welcome the truth as a breath of fresh air they didn't know they were waiting for.

If that weren't the case, we wouldn't have gotten anywhere near where we are now. I for one never expected anything like what's already happened to appear in my lifetime; I'm for having faith that perhaps, against all odds, the truth's time might actually have come. For if it hasn't, we'll be no worse off than we were going to be anyway.

KUDOS to you, Llepard, and the others involved in making this ad. Follow your heart, pull no punches, and speak your piece to the world. You'll never please everyone, but so long as you're true to yourself (and I see nothing in the ad as it stands that misrepresents or does injustice to Ron Paul) you'll have no regrets.

(*"A camel is a horse designed by a committee.")
 
More suggestions....

Please change the top to “The founding fathers” and then list all of the warneds.

I have a few more suggestions now that I read it over in detail. The first line:

…warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now we must labor six months of the year to pay your taxes at all levels as the economy groans beneath this cruel burden.

You can be replaced with we but you it is okay. Your is not necessary.

…warned of the dangers of foreign entanglements. Now thousands of Americans suffer and die protecting and building foreign nations while your government plans a military draft.

Please take the military draft out. It’s really not necessary and a huge liability. The point is delivered with the first part of the sentence. The part can sound more nationalistic by saying Americans instead of men and women and also makes the ad a tad shorter. Building can be placed before protecting and die should be placed before suffer. Putting death before suffer will give the impression of loss and putting suffer after will give the impression that they are suffering now.

…warned of the dangers of government spending. Now your growing National Debt stands at nine trillion dollars and your children are debt slaves. from the day they are born.

Not one hundred percent necessary. If you leave it at debt slaves people will have to figure out by themselves that they are slaves from the day they are born. If you make people have to figure it out they will be more touched by the message.

…warned to obey the constitution because power corrupts. Now a secretive government can spy on you and detain you at will under the guise of national security.

All of the bold is not necessary.

Also while it is noble to promote all of the Ron Paul websites, I think only teaparty and ronpaul2008.com should be promoted. It clamps up the ad to have so many websites and people might not visit the main ones; teaparty and ronpaul2008.com. The chances are if they like what Ron Paul has to say they will find out the other websites after they go to RonPaul2008.com and teaparty. Plus we can list those websites on teaparty so lets just direct them there. I think it makes the ad look a bit cheap like a standard local paper in classifieds.

Also in the lower right hand corner the ad says makes a point and says "Donate Now!" I think we should remove the donate now. We should merely present the message and make people feel that they are coming to Ron Paul. We shouldn't make them feel like we are trying to get them to donate money. Ron Paul's message sells itself so the Donate Now should be removed. Its obvious that we want them to donate by promoting teaparty.

Also LLepard, you are awesome.
 
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You should put quotions on him.

Ronald Regan's endorsement, John Mccain's "most honest man in congress", Newt Gingrich's "Everyone except Ron Paul", Tax Payer's Best Friend, etc.
but thatd violate lots of copyright laws ;P

That could make a very interesting ad too. Just print everyone's glowing endorsement of Paul. :D
 
"Originally Posted by Northern_Observer
Here's an example of an ad that gives the gist of the kind of tone I mean (I just made it up, and have no attachment to it, so feel free to take whatever you wish from it, whether it's a few words, everything, or nothing at all)...

------------
Imagine

Imagine an America…

That is a shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom.

That is a friend to all nations,
And is loved, admired, and respected by all.

With a stable, growing, and powerful economy.
An economy that not only enriches its our lives,
but also uplifts and empowers all the world's countries.

Whose government is a fierce protector of its citizen's freedom and liberty.
This government is wise, for it understands that this starts within its own borders,
and that it is not possible to preserve freedom through the removal of liberties.


I imagine that this is the vision our Founding Fathers had when they created our Constitution.

There is a man who has stood unwaveringly his whole life for these principles and has not lost sight of this vision.
He defended them in the Air Force, and protects them now as a Congressman.
Today he is running for President of the United States under the Republican Party.

Ron Paul is a steadfast defender of the Constitution and the ideals upon which this country has been founded.


[and continue describing his policies]


If this vision of America inspires you as much as it does me, please support Ron Paul in the Republican Primaries.

----------------------

To keep the tone positive and consistent, I would not mention what is wrong or make any pointed remarks about other candidates or current administration.

For example with the war in Iraq, I would mention he voted against it every step of the way and is the only Republican candidate (Kucinich would also bring them home on the Democratic side, so it wouldn't be accurate to say "the only candidate") who would bring the troops home immediately.

It's sort of along the lines of an interview I saw recently where the interviewer was saying he was "anti-this, anti-that, etc." and RP countered saying, each of those things can be turned into a positive - I'm pro-small government, pro-liberty, pro-non-interventionist foreign policy, pro-sound finances, etc.

I don't think it's necessary to lay out every single thing he stands for - the major points, definitely (rewatch some of his interviews to see what issues he brings up the most), but I think the aim of the ad should be to generate interest/excitement. Once they have that, they'll look him up and be hooked. So don't be afraid to leave some things out to give make the ad easier to read with more open space."


These are some really great ideas. People are disenchanted right now, they are searching for one ray of hope at this point and I think we should hit on this. Isn't that what got us all behind Dr. Paul in the first place? Everyone right now just doesn't feel good about the future of the country. Nobody is hopeful. The ad should try to tap into that loss Americans are feeling right now and what we can do to change it. This add should be uplifting and positive. Pull on readers heartstrings. Government should work for the people.

Consider this slogan...

"Hope is on the horizon again"

"In his medical practice Dr. Paul treated those who could not afford to pay. He is the cure for an ailing country."
 
Meetups?

Phenomenal ad. Thank you, sir, for sponsoring this momentous event. I don't know if anyone has said this already, but could there be a mention of ronpaul.meetup.com? Might get some more boots on the ground, as it were.
 
"Originally Posted by Northern_Observer
Here's an example of an ad that gives the gist of the kind of tone I mean (I just made it up, and have no attachment to it, so feel free to take whatever you wish from it, whether it's a few words, everything, or nothing at all)...

------------
Imagine

Imagine an America…

That is a shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom.

That is a friend to all nations,
And is loved, admired, and respected by all.

With a stable, growing, and powerful economy.
An economy that not only enriches its our lives,
but also uplifts and empowers all the world's countries.

Whose government is a fierce protector of its citizen's freedom and liberty.
This government is wise, for it understands that this starts within its own borders,
and that it is not possible to preserve freedom through the removal of liberties.


I imagine that this is the vision our Founding Fathers had when they created our Constitution.

There is a man who has stood unwaveringly his whole life for these principles and has not lost sight of this vision.
He defended them in the Air Force, and protects them now as a Congressman.
Today he is running for President of the United States under the Republican Party.

Ron Paul is a steadfast defender of the Constitution and the ideals upon which this country has been founded.


[and continue describing his policies]


If this vision of America inspires you as much as it does me, please support Ron Paul in the Republican Primaries.

----------------------

To keep the tone positive and consistent, I would not mention what is wrong or make any pointed remarks about other candidates or current administration.

For example with the war in Iraq, I would mention he voted against it every step of the way and is the only Republican candidate (Kucinich would also bring them home on the Democratic side, so it wouldn't be accurate to say "the only candidate") who would bring the troops home immediately.

It's sort of along the lines of an interview I saw recently where the interviewer was saying he was "anti-this, anti-that, etc." and RP countered saying, each of those things can be turned into a positive - I'm pro-small government, pro-liberty, pro-non-interventionist foreign policy, pro-sound finances, etc.

I don't think it's necessary to lay out every single thing he stands for - the major points, definitely (rewatch some of his interviews to see what issues he brings up the most), but I think the aim of the ad should be to generate interest/excitement. Once they have that, they'll look him up and be hooked. So don't be afraid to leave some things out to give make the ad easier to read with more open space."


These are some really great ideas. People are disenchanted right now, they are searching for one ray of hope at this point and I think we should hit on this. Isn't that what got us all behind Dr. Paul in the first place? Everyone right now just doesn't feel good about the future of the country. Nobody is hopeful. The ad should try to tap into that loss Americans are feeling right now and what we can do to change it. This add should be uplifting and positive. Pull on readers heartstrings. Government should work for the people.

Consider this slogan...

"Hope is on the horizon again"

"In his medical practice Dr. Paul treated those who could not afford to pay. He has the cure for an ailing country."
 
What an awesome Forum.

A new draft is in the works.

A couple of changes.

1. we do not speak for the Founders. we speak for the people.

active voice, will versus would.

credits to author Max from these forums. and Linda

bullet about the press taken out.

bullet about the political parties taken out.

all bullets rearranged, anti war bullets are first

active mililtary personnel support RP.

end birthright citizenship for illegal aliens

Line about we advise you to support RP with you time......etc. taken out.

Ron Paul Revolution is now :

For These Reasons, We The People, support

Ron Paul for President. PIcture of RP will be bigger.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL AWESOME.

FOR THE HARD CORE, PLEASE ACCEPT SOME DILUTION OF THE MESSAGE TO INCREASE THE APPEAL. WE ARE NOT COPPING OUT, WE ARE BEING SMART.

WE WANT RP TO WIN!

New Draft tomorrow.

LWL

And thank you for taking everyone's advice into consideration. When the people who have a large effect on the campaign listen well, it says to me that we may very well win.
 
Wow. I was just about to post some minor notes (replace "Dr." with "doctor" in the final-to-last bullet point; add period at end of "Will restore habeas corpus") but see that some major changes will be made. Will wait for tomorrow's version :)
 
Some thoughts...

First, having a full-page ad in one of the most widely-read newspapers in the country is a great idea; kudos to everyone who was part of this project.

Second, the graphics look beautiful. The "pics" of the "Founding Fathers" are really nice as is most of the layout; again, super job.

Third, taking what the FFs said and connecting them to Ron Paul's campaign helps people see where we are now and contrast that with where we once were and where we would be headed with a RP Presidency; well done.

Fourth, if what I read about the cost of the ad is correct, 2.3 million people (give or take a few hundred thousand) will see all this about Ron Paul at a cost of about $0.05 each. Considering the time and energy required to distribute that many Slim Jims would be...well...let's just say the ad looks to be a very wise investment.

Fifth, the ad, NOT being on the Internet, helps bring to the less-than-Internet savvy among us the gospel of Ron Paul. This is, in my opinion, something that must be done if interest in RP is to continue to grow at the seemingly-exponential rate that is currently the case. Along this same line, I'd suggest a P.O. Box or street address to which interested parties may write. The phone number is a very good idea but I think that there will still be some who would rather have a physical address through which to make contact (send checks?).

Sixth, and I saw someone speak to this already, I'd suggest moving RPs picture to the far right and the encircling text to the far left (meeting appropriately in the middle). Having RPs picture all to itself on the right may allow for it to be larger which, I'm sure, would give the reader a break, at least visually, from all the necessary but possibly overwhelming text.

Seventh, no doubt there is a LOT of content in that ad. It's GOOD content, but a lot nonetheless. Will the USA Today reader actually pore through all that material? Hard to say, but, since the ad is trying to promote Ron Paul as opposed to Ron Paul's website, I think it's important to present readers plenty of accurate and relevant information.

Eighth, please consider a toll-free number to go along with the www.TeaParty07.com website. (May I suggest www.Kall8.com? I have a couple of phone numbers from them and the cost is quite modest and I've never had an issue with it. And, no, I neither work for them nor get some kind of a kickback.) Again, as a large number of readers may not be Internet-savvy enough to go online and make a donation (they may even consider it more risky to donate online...I hear that a bit from my customers even though it's not necessarily true), having a toll-free number available for either more information and/or to make a donation might be advantageous.

Finally, I'm amazed at the creativity that is being constantly evidenced by so many for the cause of Freedom. It's a privilege to be a very small part of such an enormous yet vital effort.

Fortnighte

P.S. And thanks to Dr. Ron Paul for showing us the way. May we as Americans have the wisdom and courage to follow.
 
Include Bernake quote admiting Fed as cuase of Great Depression

I think including this quote by Fed Chairman Ben Bernake would be awesome

"Let me end my talk by abusing slightly my status as an official representative of the Federal Reserve. I would like to say to Milton and Anna: Regarding the Great Depression. You're right, we did it. We're very sorry. But thanks to you, we won't do it again."


Also a little graph like this one:

http://mwhodges.home.att.net/cpi-1800.gif

would be nice.

As great as ron paul is doing at teaching economics. I would like to see even more econotalk from the ron paul revolution.
 
Awesome job with the ad and lots of love for having the guts to go through with it.

The thing that caught my eye, though, was the far left portrait.
Is that Alex Hamilton? If so, please consider his position as a big-government Federalist who didn't trust the people's intelligence enough to stay out of their affairs.
It seems hypocritical to the message you're trying to send.

If that's not Alex, forget what I just said.
 
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