Alcoholics

[Romulus]

My old man is one. Most of my life growing up we delt with it. Not a huge deal since he as a happy drunk and not a violent one. Fast forward to now. He's been sober for maybe 10 years which was pretty difficult running a restaurant. Now that he is just retired, and no responsibilities, is it possible for him to govern himself and have drinks once in awhile? I don't know this addiction, so if anyone has first hand experience with being one, are you able to do that?

I want the geezer to enjoy life and to me that is having a drink now and then. Not getting sloshed, but being able to enjoy himself without the urge to wake up and start downing whiskey every morning. What do you all think? My mom is not on board with the idea..says he wont be able to control himself.

 

[Dr.3D]

I wouldn't encourage him to take another drink. My experience is that once they are off the booze, it's best to stay off of it.

 

[brooks009]

I know a couple addicts. He should absolutely not have any drinks. I would not even drink in front of him. Sorry to be so negative but I'm speaking from personal experience with more than one addict.

 

[Ronin Truth]

His wife probably knows him best.

 

[JK/SEA]

challenge him to a drinking contest. Should tell you everything you need to know about his willpower.

 

[Romulus]

challenge him to a drinking contest. Should tell you everything you need to know about his willpower.

His willpower is good... he might get a complex about the personal challenge though.

I guess I can not relate to addiction so well. Apparently it is pretty bad for them. Once they have a drink they can not stop. Today I brought in a beer to have with lunch. I can have one and be good. For the old man, not so much. I do drink in front of him... He doesn't care. Everyone does. Its something you have to live with I think.

 

[JK/SEA]

sounds like he's got it under control. Don't worry about him not getting a beer or whatever. Celebrate his awareness of his problem with booze, and let it go.

 

[tod evans]

Everybody is different, don't try and shoehorn him into a stereotype.

If booze causes problems then don't drink..

 

[Romulus]

sounds like he's got it under control. Don't worry about him not getting a beer or whatever. Celebrate his awareness of his problem with booze, and let it go.

Lol. That's what I'm saying. No one but you agrees though. The man worked his whole damn life. He has my blessing to drink. He gave me my first beer at 16. It's come full circle now, I'll give him first beer in 10 years.

 

[tod evans]

Lol. That's what I'm saying. No one but you agrees though. The man worked his whole damn life. He has my blessing to drink. He gave me my first beer at 16. It's come full circle now, I'll give him first beer in 10 years.

I'm certainly not disagreeing..:o

Here in the bible-belt various family members will oft-times try to hang the "alcoholic" moniker on someone who has a drink or two a couple of times a month...

He's a big boy let him make his own decisions just don't hesitate to spout off if you notice him fucking up.

 

[Romulus]

I'm certainly not disagreeing..:o

Here in the bible-belt various family members will oft-times try to hang the "alcoholic" moniker on someone who has a drink or two a couple of times a month...

He's a big boy let him make his own decisions just don't hesitate to spout off if you notice him fucking up.

Well, speaking of bible, I do have a self righteous brother who said he had a "coming to Jesus" moment with him about drinking. I think most of his problem with drinking is guilt from his my brother and mom.

I'm not going to encourage him to drink. But if he wants a beer, I'm not going to tell him what to do.

 

[pcosmar]

Everybody is different, don't try and shoehorn him into a stereotype.

If booze causes problems then don't drink..

This^^

Some people react differently to substances.
Some folks can not drink without overdoing it. I don't buy into the whole addiction thing. It is a self control thing and alcohol affects self control.

Try smoking a joint with him.. It is a better buzz anyway.

 

[dannno]

Alcoholics completely baffle me sometimes. Having a few drinks can be sooo much fun. When I go out and drink I try not to drink too much in order to avoid a host of issues like hangovers, getting out of control and doing something I might regret, injuring or embarassing myselft, etc.. But honestly, it's not that hard. I don't feel like going and getting another drink, usually, after 3 or 4 drinks, sometimes less. That is the major difference between me and alcoholics. However sometimes the atmosphere calls for drinking more in which case I become even more hyper vigilant to prevent getting too drunk. I start counting drinks, creating limits, all of which I do not normally do 95% of the time when I drink because I don't need to. But what I don't understand is why alcoholics cannot employ some simple rules with their drinking. 3 drink max if you are just sitting at home. 4 drink max if you go out, unless it is a really special occasion and/or the entire point of why everybody is there is to get really drunk - then you have a 6 or 7 drink max. Stick to it!! Your ability to DRINK depends on it!! If you're such an alcoholic and alcohol is SOOOOO enjoyable to you, then why not create some basic rules and stick to them so you don't have to spend the rest of your life fuckin' sober!!

/rant

 

[ClydeCoulter]

My close friend is an alcoholic. He will still drink once in a while (every couple of months), 3 or 4 beers next to a camp fire by the lake. Sometimes, once in a great while, he won't stop at 3 or 4 and will get shit faced. The next morning, he gets up and acts like it never happened and doesn't take a drink for months. He'll take a shot of bird dog once in a while at my house, and not drink another drop that day.

People are individuals, each having their own reasons for things and their own willpower.

Sounds like you love your dad. Just continue to be there for him, like you are, whether drinking or not.

 

[Lucille]

There are alternative programs to AA that say an alcoholic can drink in moderation (Moderation Management is one. Can't think of the others, but I do see ads on the teevee for them.).

It depends on the drunk! My brother's a binge drinker but they still consider him an alcoholic. If he's truly an addict, how can he go days or weeks with no booze and not go through withdrawal?

 

[jllundqu]

My dad is an alcoholic. Went sober for a few years after going to the Eric Claptop Drunk Farm in Antigua. He came back ready to be sober, then bit by bit he would rationalize having a small drink, a glass of wine, then bam! Back to full blown alcoholic.

It's his choice, but dont enable him and tell him you never want him to drink again....

 

[kathy88]

If he is truly an alcoholic you should not encourage him to drink. I am. And all it takes for me is one and its off to the races. Can't stop. This is true for most true alcoholics I've met. We process alcohol differently than non-alcoholics. It's physiological. Willpower, etc... Only comes into play if you're not alcoholic. The term is way overused.

 

[Brian4Liberty]

I wouldn't encourage him to take another drink. My experience is that once they are off the booze, it's best to stay off of it.

Agree.

Probably best not to go back if it was a problem.

 

[Romulus]

If he is truly an alcoholic you should not encourage him to drink. I am. And all it takes for me is one and its off to the races. Can't stop. This is true for most true alcoholics I've met. We process alcohol differently than non-alcoholics. It's physiological. Willpower, etc... Only comes into play if you're not alcoholic. The term is way overused.

That's the way he is. If he has one drink he can stop, but doesn't want to. My reasoning is that he was never dangerous and now that he is retired, so what if he gets sloshed. My only fear is that he would get drunk everyday. So I'm not going to encourage him, but I wont guilt him either. I've seen him handle his booze with only a few drinks. It's up to him. He has beer in the house for when I visit. He wants to drink, but is guilted and maybe afraid of going too far perhaps.

My old boss was one too. If he drank he would just get crazy. It was a blast. We'd go to lunch and would end up drinking the rest of the day. The secretary was one too and she would join in. The owner got TICKED when we did this, but we were profitable so he put up with it. They would just binge drink every few month or 2 for fun.

 

[acptulsa]

Well, I won't sit here and say, 'Don't let him drink.' But I will say, there are people who can have a few drinks, relax, and enjoy them, and there are people who see a bottle and just have to empty it. I think the latter group should never take that first drink. I've known more than a few, and they're better off and happier if they just don't take that first drink.

But I will say this. If you drink with him, stay there with him and consciously try to help him pace himself. 'What, you want another one? I'm buzzed enough, myself. I'm already having fun.'

And then come back tomorrow. 'You want to drink again? Naw, I hate drinking two days in a row. Let's go do something else instead.'

If you do this for/to him, take responsibility.