Rebutal
I think perhaps you are only seeing one possibility, based on your own experience.
Yup. My own experience. Use at your own risk. If things are working out for you, stick with your program.
It most certainly IS difficult. Anyone who presumes to CONTROL another is BEGGING for trouble.
I never said a word about controlling another person. That is not necessary or desirable. In fact, what I am talking about is quite the opposite. I am talking about controlling your OWN life, not someone elses. I don't try to tell my girlfriend what to do at all. She does what she wants. If she does something I don't like because it is disrespectful to me, I tell her to knock it off. If she didn't knock it off, I would show her the door on the other side of which she can do what she wants forever. So this is not about control of her. It is about being in control in my relationship. And it isn't difficult unless you are a selfish asshole that doesn't look out for your woman.
EVERYONE wants to feel cherished. Is not the bulk of grousing about women predicated on the very real appearance that some women DO, in fact, care more about the size of the man's wallet than the caliber of his character?
I am not interested in being cherished. I find it tolerable in small doses and annoying in large doses. I do want to be respected. And I like to feel needed in a relationship. And if I am not getting enough of those things I speak up. And if it doesn't improve I walk and don't look back. I think women are hard-wired to evaluate a man on his ability to care for her and the offspring. That is the way in most animals and we are just another kind of animal. In this society, the size of a man's wallet is relevant to the evaluation of fitness as protector and father. So it doesn't surprise or disgust me at all.
you will spend the rest of your time MAINTAINING your imagined control. Control is illusory, or it is compulsory. Or you've got yourself a Gutless Wonder, which means your control is meaningless.
You are speaking from a lack of experience. Since I learned to be a man and take the wheel in my relationships, and not take any shit, my girlfriends have been smarter, better educated, more successful in their careers, funnier, more attractive physically, more numerous, and better in bed. Call them gutless if you want. I think they just like a man who is captain of his own life.
This could have been a line in Swingers.
A movie?
True, that. Equally true, however, is that men are not all the same and women are not all the same. One size/type/style does NOT fit all.
Yup. It is a big wide world full of people. And a whole lot of those people are unhappy in love. I merely offer the map to the road by which I went from unhappy in love to happy in love and made more women happy in the process. For me it was night and day. Your mileage may vary.
If it is true that one of the lesbians assumes a dominant role, then it is NOT a matter of the hard wiring for dominance occurring in strictly the male species.
Male is a gender, not a species. It is hard wired in HUMAN BEINGS for gender roles to include a dominance factor. It is hard wired for the female to be submissive and the male to be dominant. When no male is present, the hard wired need for a dominant/submissive relationship is so great that one of the women ASSUMES the male role. It happens in many animals.
A relationship requires a Chief Executive Officer, like any other enterprise. Otherwise, when the shit hits the fan and it's evacuation time, at the absolute critical moment, the two would have to sit down to a democratic pow-wow as to which direction to flee.
So what is with all your objections? This is all I am saying. You can't have two captains and it is natural for the man to be captain. When the man doesn't step up to that role, things get screwed up. AND most women will find him sexually unattractive.
It is not that a good boss dominates his people but, rather, that his people defer to him.
A nearly perfect analogy. A good boss takes control of the business. If he does not, the operation is doomed. A good boss uses his control of the operation to take care of his people. A good boss consults his people on his decision but he takes ultimate responsibility for making the decisions. A good boss has the last word. A good boss will not tolerate insubordination or disrespect. He doesn't enslve people, but he runs the business by his rules. If the people don't like the rules, they can leave. That is pretty much exactly what I am saying a man needs to do in a relationship.
