My service was prior 9/11, and I was far from infantry. Being color blind severely limited my job options, and instead of making a mockery of religion (Chaplain's Assistant) I went 75B, Personnel Administration Specialist). In other words, I never saw any form of combat while I was in the Army. I know the disconnect you're describing though, and I think it's not so much "the war" you're missing, but rather the controlled chaos that is military life.
Let's be honest, in the grand scheme of things you know exactly where you are, and where everyone else is within your world. There's something to be said for living the old axiom "Know your role". As many times as I said I couldn't wait to get out, I've said just as many times since that I wish I was still in. There are many misconceptions here regarding that lifestyle, many evident here, which is why I'm really posting this I guess. My job allowed me to help, TRULY help, soldiers and their families. My PMOS had me in a position of running Company, and later Battalion, PACs. BY position virtue alone, this put every soldier's entire life in my hands. I still remember when I was stationed in Korea an E6 thanking me with tears in his eyes for helping him, and all I did was fast track some orders for him through DoD so we could expedite his family moving to his next CONUS post. They were homeless (his dependents), and needed those orders to get post housing ahead of his arrival. The fact that I took out a laptop and did it on Sunday at the barracks instead of waiting until Monday at the office made quite an impression. And that leads me to my point.
People talk about bonds and honor, and that is definitely there. Something else people talk about is the structure, but they don't use it in the right context. There is a unique structure as (speaking to deployed / over seas ) your social life, work life, educational life, ect are all intertwined. It can become comforting fairly quickly, and nothing throws a monkey wrench in that faster than civilian life. At least, that is how it was for me when I got out and had to re-train myself on many things. I'm saying this in hopes that you are the same, and hopefully recognize it as nothing more. This thread is good though, and I hope you continue to find some venue to talk if the need arises. Hell, if need be, I'll PM you my # are you can talk my ear off. Those are some deep questions you're asking, and they can lead to a really dark place if you're not careful.
But the great thing is, even if you think you are alone, you're not. One thing my service in the Army gave me that will last forever is a list 30 miles long of brothers from other mothers. Because it doesn't matter when one served, or what branch.....there is a bond we all just feel with each other. You've got more family than you know of.
And I really wish some people would temper their personal observations on things like having served in the military. It's not like we all ran to a recruiter, and I said, "I want to kill sum'bitches!". Nor does it mean we've participated in slaughtering entire villages of women and children. For example, I joined during peacetime because I had a wife and two children who needed me to find some way to fill a lot of needs in a short time. But even admin guys like me have basic infantryman training, understand fire team tactics, have small arms weapons training, and other skills. In other words, we can't take the "moral high ground" and say we never "sold out". However, if and when that shit does hit the fan, it's people like Uriel, Gunny, and Pericles who liberty will need. I can promise you the last thing you want to do is face off against a 10 man group of highly motivated well trained, and well armed personnel with 15 to 20 untrained rednecks. And I say that as a redneck who grew up hunting and shooting.
People change and learn as they get older. So, instead of wanting to dissect their past, perhaps you should consider it a win to have someone like minded who also has the benefit of knowing how the enemy conducts themselves, both in tactics and armaments. If you're Christian, then know God has brought us all together for a reason. Some made a thread not too long ago regarding some serious "hate" towards former military here, and they were right. I fully respect someone's decision to have no part of the military, and had my life not went the way it did, I most assuredly would not have enlisted myself. The flip side to that coin is that you have no clue about why someone else joined, what they did, or where their heart is at.
To go into a repeated spiel about how immoral someone was regarding a decision they made in life, perhaps it might be better to be sure you know the why of something before you start judging?
Nah...he got there on his own before you came along.
