The Texican will be pleased

[Danke]

[FONT=&quot]Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas-Style!"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth, and finally, back to Dallas. Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with 15 bumper stickers which will read:[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]1. "I'm A Democrat"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]2. "Amnesty For Illegals"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]3. "I Love RAP"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]4. "Boycott Beef"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]5. "I Voted For Obama"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]6. "George Strait Sucks"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]7. "Elect Hillary In 2020"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]8. "Vote Eric Holder Texas Governor"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]9. "Rosie O'Donnell Is A great role model"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]10. "I Love Obamacare and Chuck Schumer"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]11. "Kaepernick Is My Hero"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]12. "I Side With Jane Fonda"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]13. "It's all Bush's Fault”[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]14. "Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]- and the last sticker is;[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]15. "I'm Here To Confiscate Your Guns"[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]The first contestant to make it back to Dallas alive wins.[/FONT]
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[Swordsmyth]

 

[Danke]

 

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[Danke]

A missions trip to a remote tribe in an undisclosed closed country has successfully converted the entire village into conservative Republicans, sources from the missions team confirmed Friday.

After contextualizing the basics of right-wing beliefs to the culture of the tribe for several months, the missionaries finally made a breakthrough as they communicated to the group their need for conservative political philosophy to save them from their sins. Finally, missionaries gave a moving altar call Thursday evening, and the village elders responded in faith, accepting Republicanism as Lord of their life. The rest of the village soon followed.
“When the people saw the glory of our savior Donald Trump, they erupted into spontaneous celebration,” one of the American missionaries said in an emotional video uploaded to Facebook. “It was so great to see these people finally abandon their un-American culture and embrace the gospel of the United States, forever changing their eternity.”
At publishing time, missionaries had confirmed there was still much work to do, such as converting the village into middle-class white people.

https://babylonbee.com/news/missions-trip-successfully-converts-entire-village-into-republicans

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[Danke]

 

[Danke]

 

[Danke]

 

[Danke]