Talking to girls

[constituent]

I suppose you're an interventionist then?

I don't think people can really claim to be one thing or another where it concerns these matters...

 

[SelfTaught]

So continuing on this topic, I'm trying to talk to this girl at the gym. I just got my membership 3 weeks ago and this girl goes to the gym with her mom the same time I go. She pretty fine. Anyways, there are two problems I will have to overcome.

1) This girl goes to the gym with her mom. Me thinks she underage. I would think legal girls probably don't go to the gym with their moms. Plus, I go to the gym in the morning and the only time I see her is on the weekend. So during the weekdays, I think she might be in school. Maybe I'll start a conversation like this, "What grade are you in?"

2) How am I supposed to holla at that booty with her mom there? Her moms would probably be grillin me hard as hell for tryin to devastate that ass.

Anyways, if she is underage, I can tell you that SHE IS ALL WOMAN......

Haha, that's what I'll be tellin the judge.

 

[Dreamofunity]

2) How am I supposed to holla at that booty with her mom there?

Threesome.

 

[pcosmar]

Wink Talking to girls

Lie.
Lie a lot, sweet sugary lies.
Girls (with rare exceptions) eat that up.

I could never do it well ( I blame my Mother) But I have observed it for many years.

 

[nayjevin]

Lie.
Lie a lot, sweet sugary lies.
Girls (with rare exceptions) eat that up.

I could never do it well ( I blame my Mother) But I have observed it for many years.

I am so blessed, to have found the rare exception, I married her

 

[MelissaWV]

Lie.
Lie a lot, sweet sugary lies.
Girls (with rare exceptions) eat that up.

I could never do it well ( I blame my Mother) But I have observed it for many years.

The moment I find out someone's lying to me, it ends, no matter how nice they were trying to be. I do acknowledge your disclaimer, though

 

[pcosmar]

The moment I find out someone's lying to me, it ends, no matter how nice they were trying to be. I do acknowledge your disclaimer, though

Some live and learn.
Some (I have experience with) never do.

 

[MichelleHeart]

(Girls Thought) Creep alert creep alert. Who's this wacko staring at me? You blew it dude.

(Girls Thought) Go away looser you scare me.

Go back to pickup school. You need to start the interaction immediately and not stare at her like a stalker then talk to her.

You're so nice.

@The Original Poster: Don't waste your time on this chick. Plenty of girls are more deserving of your time. Talking to a guy or girl if you're shy can be hard, but the right person for you is going to be someone that likes that you're shy.

And if you get awful comments like the one quoted above, just ignore them. Bossman is an idiot.

Get her number, DO NOT HINT!

I don't get these rules on dating. Seems quite stupid to me. Everyone's different.

 

[TCE]

So continuing on this topic, I'm trying to talk to this girl at the gym. I just got my membership 3 weeks ago and this girl goes to the gym with her mom the same time I go. She pretty fine. Anyways, there are two problems I will have to overcome.

1) This girl goes to the gym with her mom. Me thinks she underage. I would think legal girls probably don't go to the gym with their moms. Plus, I go to the gym in the morning and the only time I see her is on the weekend. So during the weekdays, I think she might be in school. Maybe I'll start a conversation like this, "What grade are you in?"

2) How am I supposed to holla at that booty with her mom there? Her moms would probably be grillin me hard as hell for tryin to devastate that ass.

Anyways, if she is underage, I can tell you that SHE IS ALL WOMAN......

Haha, that's what I'll be tellin the judge.

1. How big of an age difference is it? If it is pretty large and she's with her mom, it's game over. Especially if she's under 18 and you're in your 20's, I would just leave it be. If you're much older than her, I'm not sure asking her a thinly veiled "how old are you?" question is your best bet. Make it fun.

2. Talking to her mom first is not a bad strategy at all. Get in good with her mom, then you can talk to her with her mom's blessing. If you do that, it's an automatic win basically. Difficult for sure, but big payoffs. Her mom is still a person. If you seem like a good guy, why wouldn't she want you to date her daughter?

Michelleheart: Agreed, but in general, guys should be leading, not sitting around all day waiting for a sign that may never come. Most can't even read women's signals anyway, they're too subtle.

 

[MelissaWV]

1. How big of an age difference is it? If it is pretty large and she's with her mom, it's game over. Especially if she's under 18 and you're in your 20's, I would just leave it be. If you're much older than her, I'm not sure asking her a thinly veiled "how old are you?" question is your best bet. Make it fun.

2. Talking to her mom first is not a bad strategy at all. Get in good with her mom, then you can talk to her with her mom's blessing. If you do that, it's an automatic win basically. Difficult for sure, but big payoffs. Her mom is still a person. If you seem like a good guy, why wouldn't she want you to date her daughter?

Michelleheart: Agreed, but in general, guys should be leading, not sitting around all day waiting for a sign that may never come. Most can't even read women's signals anyway, they're too subtle.

I think part of the problem he was having is that he can't really tell "how large an age difference" there is. Of course, he's either assuming the woman is her mom, he's asked/talked to them and found this out, or he's been eavesdropping You don't have to be underaged to go to the gym with your mother. Especially this time of year, people buddy up to work out (New Year's Resolution, anyone?), and one's mom can be a good option if there's a healthy relationship there.

Talking to her mom first? It's an idea, but let's be very careful here. He doesn't know if it's her mom, potentially. He also might give the mom the impression he's interested in her (wow this working out must be working! This young guy is hitting on me!). It can also smell like a ploy (because it would be), not to mention that it's a bit ridiculous to approach one person about dating another.

As for a guy "leading"... the same could be said for anyone, in that once you have less to lose than to gain, it's time to get moving and ask your questions, regardless of gender. People can be complicated. It's a pain in the ass. If it were easy, I don't think the chase would be so popular.

 

[TCE]

That's what I tried to do since that first day (day 5). But that gay guy was hanging around and it was totally weird. Hilarious story but totally weird. And the following 2 classes have their own reasons why I didn't get her number! =P



I think she definitely has a boyfriend. When I asked her questions, her responses were completely natural. I tried to get her number several classes ago, but I have my stories for why I didn't get it (lol). So since v-day was coming up this weekend, I decided just to go for it. Be assertive. And straight up ask her out. So I did.

But she was totally surprised when I mentioned mardi gras. and she was just as surprised when I mentioned v-day. I think her responses were totally honest and don't have a reason to think otherwise.


Honestly, real relationships can last a lifetime. If this is a real relationship, 2 weeks of stalling is just a small period during the beginning of what could be a serious relationship. 2 weeks is a small period of time to consider what could be a lifetime relationship. That's why I honestly feel the urgency to execute the short-term connection is less important, because I'm the type of person to consider the long-term side effects. So yeah, I'm def. different.

There had to be a chance somewhere. Do you have her number now, even though she has a boyfriend? I have a really hard time believing that there was never even one chance to get her number, even with all of these variables. You might be right, but it seems highly unlikely.

A good strategy executed a bit too late. ...You really shouldn't be planning a future with this girl... Even if her and her boyfriend do breakup, which they almost positively will, you may find out she's not that great. Get out there and find someone else!

No way. My wife had a boyfriend when I met here. Took her all about one week to realize she wasn't in a relationship with the right guy.

I'm no house wrecker but a girl saying that they have a boyfriend certainly does not mean I'm not considering being your girlfriend. However, if you do invite the girl to hangout and she isn't quickly ending her current relationship, it's time to move on.

Yeah, but you seemingly did it the right way. You didn't subtlety say "alright, I'll be your friend for however long it takes for you to realize I am better than your boyfriend." Congratulations on finding your wife! Your last paragraph is right on.

 

[SelfTaught]

1. How big of an age difference is it? If it is pretty large and she's with her mom, it's game over. Especially if she's under 18 and you're in your 20's, I would just leave it be. If you're much older than her, I'm not sure asking her a thinly veiled "how old are you?" question is your best bet. Make it fun.

Hey, I look pretty young at 25. Maybe I'll just tell her I'm 18. Bwahahaha, maybe I'll just leave this one alone because from the looks of it, it can only end badly.

 

[TCE]

I think part of the problem he was having is that he can't really tell "how large an age difference" there is. Of course, he's either assuming the woman is her mom, he's asked/talked to them and found this out, or he's been eavesdropping You don't have to be underaged to go to the gym with your mother. Especially this time of year, people buddy up to work out (New Year's Resolution, anyone?), and one's mom can be a good option if there's a healthy relationship there.

Talking to her mom first? It's an idea, but let's be very careful here. He doesn't know if it's her mom, potentially. He also might give the mom the impression he's interested in her (wow this working out must be working! This young guy is hitting on me!). It can also smell like a ploy (because it would be), not to mention that it's a bit ridiculous to approach one person about dating another.

As for a guy "leading"... the same could be said for anyone, in that once you have less to lose than to gain, it's time to get moving and ask your questions, regardless of gender. People can be complicated. It's a pain in the ass. If it were easy, I don't think the chase would be so popular.

True, but most 18+ girls I know go by themselves. I'm not too hot on the "let's wait 3 weeks, steal glances at her, and then think about approaching next week" deal. It seems like she's underage, and he just posted he's 25...run away!!!

Moms have great intuition and can sense if they're being side-stepped. Just confronting her in casual conversation can't harm anyone. It is a much bigger risk to try and go around the mom or the older friend. He should talk to at least one of them and find out how they know each other, it should become obvious. It's a difficult situation, but in my experience, trying to evade the mom is a consistent loser.

Again, in my experience, women prefer a guy who can lead over one who waits around waiting for "permission." I agree with your point, though.

Hey, I look pretty young at 25. Maybe I'll just tell her I'm 18. Bwahahaha, maybe I'll just leave this one alone because from the looks of it, it can only end badly.

Well, you're playing with fire. It's a touchy situation on a lot of levels. You can probably have better luck finding a girl closer to your age in a normal social situation.

 

[SelfTaught]

It seems like she's underage, and he just posted he's 25...run away!!!

Haha. Yeah. I'm only interested really because she's the only female at my gym that isn't old, ugly, or looks like a dude (bodybuilder types). Plus, it's not like I want a long term relationship with this girl, I'm just tryin to get some stank.

 

[TCE]

Haha. Yeah. I'm only interested really because she's the only female at my gym that isn't old, ugly, or looks like a dude (bodybuilder types). Plus, it's not like I want a long term relationship with this girl, I'm just tryin to get some stank.

In that case, there are girls everywhere. Have you tried a different gym? There are usually at least two within a 15 mile radius.

 

[DjLoTi]

Haha, you guys crack me up! But yeah, I was trying to get her # for like 2 weeks, and since my chance finally came yesterday, and with v-day coming up, I took the plunge to just straight-up ask her out. Why prolong it any longer? Sometimes me being straight-up can backfire, but it's better then running around in circles trying to play games (imo). I still don't think it went bad. She knows I like her and that's good enough for me.

I know some of yall are saying 'more fish in the sea', but honestly, I'm really not a DATING kind of guy. I'm too busy with school and other responsibilities. There's just something about this girl that I like, that makes me want to go for it. If she doesn't work, I'll prob just give up(again lol) on girls and just focus back on what I'm currently doing - college, YAL, ect. ect.

So continuing on this topic, I'm trying to talk to this girl at the gym...

1) This girl goes to the gym with her mom... Maybe I'll start a conversation like this, "What grade are you in?"

2) How am I supposed to holla at that booty with her mom there? Her moms would probably be grillin me hard as hell for tryin to devastate that ass.

Haha kewl! Someone posted on topic! =P

1 - Well, I def. wouldn't start out by saying 'what grade are you in'. If I'd ask something like that, I'd ask something like, 'hey do you go to (insert local college/community college)
This way, if she is in highschool, you give her the impression that she looks older or w/e, makes her look cool. If she is in college, then she'll say 'yes' and you'll have an immediate connection.

2 - honestly if she's in shape and you see her at the gym, I would recommend inviting her on some type of outdoor activity, like riding a bike trail or something like that.

Another thing you could do is like, talk casual. Talk about how you love working out, like real passively. Be like, 'man I love busting a sweat in there'. Then you could be like, 'what do you like to do after you work out?'. Basically whatever she says, say you like it too. lol.

You could also talk about the importance of eating nutritiously after a workout. This could be a good pretext to maybe grab a bite 2 eat.

This is assuming you catch her at the water fountain or something. If her mom is there, it makes it a lot harder. You can't just talk to the girl, because she's with her mom. So you have to talk to BOTH of them. It makes it easier if you have a friend. Then your friend can talk to both of them, you can join the 3 group, your friend can pull the attention from the mom, and that gives you and your target girl 1 on 1 time. It's just like any other 2 group

 

[DjLoTi]

Then again, if she's younger then 16, it's probably illegal, so of course I recommend it. Of course, if you're just looking for a hook-up, and not a real relationship, why not go to a bar or club? If you get a friend, and yall are on the same page, it's not hard to pick up girls. I wouldn't advise breaking any laws! =p

 

[forsmant]

i think you need http://www.theattractionforums.com This site is for politics.

 

[DjLoTi]

This is the off topic section

Cool link though, lol. Not really my thing but certainly interesting

 

[SelfTaught]

Then again, if she's younger then 16, it's probably illegal, so of course I recommend it. Of course, if you're just looking for a hook-up, and not a real relationship, why not go to a bar or club? If you get a friend, and yall are on the same page, it's not hard to pick up girls. I wouldn't advise breaking any laws! =p

Nope, no bars or clubs. I recently quit drinking after 3-4 years of heavy daily drinking. So I don't want to risk a relapse.

By the way, my post wasn't serious. I was kinda joking. But the girl I'm talking about does exist and I do think she is over 18, because I saw her on friday morning with her mom. If she was underage, she'd probably be in high school (haha, I remember going to school).