Post a Joke, Best Joke gets a +Rep!

[jmdrake]

My wife filed for divorce today.

We got into a huge fight when she found out I had been hiding a missing toe on my left foot with a prosthetic.

I had lost it in a work accident years ago, before we were married, and I was too ashamed to tell her.

I had no idea she would get so mad.


















How was I to know she was lack-toes intolerant?

 

[jmdrake]

 

[Anti Globalist]

Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

 

[CCTelander]

Escort joke

They say it's proper etiquette to tip your escort, but I'm like "If things went well, didn't you already tip her?"

She responded “You already shafted me too, so fork over that gratuity you cheap bastard!"

 

[unknown]

A libertarian gets into a car accident with a homosexual.

They get out of their cars and the homosexual does a damage assessment.

He then turns to the libertarian and says, "you owe me $10,000".

The libertarian replies, "$10,000??? YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK!"

So, the homosexual says, "well if you wanna settle this outside of court..."

 

[unknown]

What did the grape say when he got stepped on?

Nothing, he just gave a little whine.

 

[unknown]

What's the difference between a park bench and a libcuck ?

A park bench can support a family.

 

[unknown]

 

[unknown]

What does a robot do after a one-night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

 

[unknown]

My buddy's neighbor recently called him a pervert.

He was so upset, the hamster nearly fell out of his ass.

 

[CCTelander]

.

Swordsmyth.

 

[unknown]

What's eight inches long, hard as a rock and full of semen?


The sock under my bed.