Anti Globalist
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Joe Biden.
Post a Joke, Best Joke gets a +Rep!
- Thread starter DamianTV
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Danke
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DiverseSegregation
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For a politician what is the difference between today and tomorrow?
tod evans
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Likely a true story..................
Brad lived in California and was a lifelong environmentalist. He was sick of the world; of Covid-19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, global warming, racial tensions, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.
Brad drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station, started the car and revved it to a slow idle.
Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Brad from the car.
A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.
Brad is a registered California Democrat.
Brad lived in California and was a lifelong environmentalist. He was sick of the world; of Covid-19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, global warming, racial tensions, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.
Brad drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station, started the car and revved it to a slow idle.
Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Brad from the car.
A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.
Brad is a registered California Democrat.
Anti Globalist
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Kamala Harris is a great and admirable woman.
Anti Globalist
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
An impasta.
tod evans
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A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
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An interviewer asked an Amish man why it was that the Amish community did not experience the epidemic of Covid-19.
The Amish man answered, "Well, we don't have TVs."
The Amish man answered, "Well, we don't have TVs."
Danke
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Anti Globalist
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Joe Biden will be a great president that will not sell us out to foreign interests.
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Anti Globalist
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I have complete faith in the Biden administration.
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Anti Globalist
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How do you have a party in space?
You planet.
You planet.
Anti Globalist
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Why did the Jews wander the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them dropped a nickel.
Because one of them dropped a nickel.
tod evans
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Irish Smiles
Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.
An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?" - "No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time."
Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?" Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? - A bachelor.
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home .
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.. "Quick!" He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
"O' Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?"
"It did surely," replied O' Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs
Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.
An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?" - "No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time."
Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?" Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? - A bachelor.
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home .
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.. "Quick!" He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
"O' Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?"
"It did surely," replied O' Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs
Anti Globalist
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Why did the ghost ride the elevator?
To lift his spirits.
To lift his spirits.
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