Post a Joke, Best Joke gets a +Rep!

[Suzanimal]

Why did the alien throw beef on the asteroid?

He wanted to make it to be meaty-or.

Finish the nutless nutcracker joke, please.

 

[Anti Globalist]

Finish the nutless nutcracker joke, please.

The joke is already finished.

 

[Anti Globalist]

What do you call a musician with problems?

A very trebled person.

 

[Suzanimal]

The joke is already finished.

I don't get it. - rep

 

[Brian4Liberty]

Bernie Sanders.

 

[Anti Globalist]

Beto O'Rourke.

 

[Anti Federalist]

Finish the nutless nutcracker joke, please.

 

[Anti Federalist]

So, I met an actual pirate the other day.

Strange thing about him though, he had a full sized ship's wheel stuffed down the front of his pants.

I asked him, "Jeez, shipmate, isn't that uncomfortable, a ship's wheel in your pants?"

He said:
















"Yarrr, it's driving me nuts".

 

[Anti Federalist]

I went to a very emotional wedding this weekend.

Even the cake was in tiers.

 

[Anti Globalist]

What is the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every day.

 

[Anti Globalist]

Why can't Peter Pan stop flying?

He could never land.

 

[Suzanimal]

4 people go on vacation together.
One of them speaks English, another speaks French, the third speaks Spanish , and the last speaks German. They see a crowd gathering in the street and go over to see what’s going on. There is a performer in the middle of the crowd. He notices that the four are struggling to see him so he stands on a box. He asks them “ can you guys see me all right?” And they reply in turn “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.

 

[Anti Globalist]

What did the cheetah say when she was falsely accused by the lioness?

You've gotta believe me, I'm not lion.

 

[Suzanimal]

What did the cheetah say when she was falsely accused by the lioness?

You've gotta believe me, I'm not lion.

But she's a cheetah.

 

[Slave Mentality]

The teacher writes “I ain’t had no fun in months.” on the chalk board and asks the class how to fix it.

Little Johnny hollers out “Get a new boyfriend!”

 

[CCTelander]

Have you heard they're going to stop selling shredded cheese?







Wait....





Wait for it...





They want to make America grate again.

 

[Anti Globalist]

Julian Castro

 

[Anti Globalist]

Which dance will a chicken never do?

A foxtrot.

 

[tod evans]

 

[Origanalist]

What's black and doesn't work?

















































Decaf coffee you racist jerk.