One True Path to Liberty®

[Occam's Banana]

One True Path to Liberty®

There is only One True Path to Liberty®! Get yours today!

Imagine the pride and satisfaction you'll feel knowing that your One True Path to Liberty® is the only path to freedom you or anyone else will ever need!

With One True Path to Liberty®, you can rest assured that you'll have the only genuine approach to freedom that can possibly be of any use or value!

Easy to store! No messy dialectics! Comes with our official Certificate of Authenticity - available only with genuine One True Path to Liberty® products!

One True Path to Liberty® comes in a variety of models, including Purist, Gradualist, Absolutist, Utilitarian, Anarchist, Minarchist and many, many more!

Accept no substitutes! Supplies are limited! Order your One True Path to Liberty® now!

 

[fr33]

Do you mind posting the warranty info?

 

[kathy88]

Can I pay in three easy installments.

 

[TheTexan]

Does it come in dark earth color?

 

[Danke]

Can I pay in three easy installments.

Act now, and I'll liberate you for free.

 

[Occam's Banana]

Do you mind posting the warranty info?

Each One True Path to Liberty® is sold "as is". No refunds. All sales are final.

However, if you are unsatisfied with your One True Path to Liberty® for any reason, you may exchange it "no questions asked" for any other model of One True Path to Liberty® (subject to availablity).

 

[Occam's Banana]

Can I pay in three easy installments.

Installment plans are available only for the Gradualist model of One True Path to Liberty®.

 

[Occam's Banana]

Does it come in dark earth color?

Yes! Each One True Path to Liberty® customer may specify the color of his or her choice (with the exception of the Survivalist/Off-the-Grid model, which is available only in wilderness camouflage),

We also offer special color schemes for select models of One True Path to Liberty®. For example, the Anarchist model is available in a special two-tone color scheme (black/yellow). See our brochure for details.

For a small extra charge, any model of One True Path to Liberty® may be ordered in urban camouflage. (This color scheme is especially popular among politicos who wish to appear to be using no path to liberty at all!).

 

[Origanalist]

I'll take the American Bomb you into Liberty model.

 

[Occam's Banana]

I'll take the American Bomb you into Liberty model.

Your One True Path to Liberty® order has been processed. Delivery to be made via drone within 3 to 5 business days.

 

[Origanalist]

Your One True Path to Liberty® order has been processed. Delivery to be made via drone within 3 to 5 business days.

 

[afwjam]

Will my One True Path to Liberty® make it so I am always right and everyone else is always wrong? I need something that protects me from other ideas.

 

[Occam's Banana]

Will my One True Path to Liberty® make it so I am always right and everyone else is always wrong?

Yes, it certainly will! In fact, this is the primary functionality of every One True Path to Liberty® model!

Each model of One True Path to Liberty® comes equipped with our patented Absolute Certitude Enhancer™ (ACE™) technology.

ACE™ensures that the user of any One True Path to Liberty® model will be rendered completely unable to see any use or value whatsoever in any other approach to advancing the cause of liberty!

An ACE™-enabled One True Path to Liberty® allows any other approach to advancing the cause of liberty to be dismissed in any of a variety of modes.

Available modes include Abrupt Rejection, Sarcastic Contempt, Indignant Outrage, Sneering Disdain and a wide range of others.

I need something that protects me from other ideas.

Our engineers have designed each model of One True Path to Liberty® to exacting specifications - and every unit is manufactured to within precise (in)tolerances.

One True Path to Liberty® is the ideal solution for those who do not wish to be distracted by any ideas or courses of action that do not conform to the prejudices of their own One True Path to Liberty®.

 

[Origanalist]

Yes, it certainly will! In fact, this is the primary functionality of every One True Path to Liberty® model!

Each model of One True Path to Liberty® comes equipped with our patented Absolute Certitude Enhancer™ (ACE™) technology.

ACE™ensures that the user of any One True Path to Liberty® model will be rendered completely unable to see any use or value whatsoever in any other approach to advancing the cause of liberty!

An ACE™-enabled One True Path to Liberty® allows other approaches to advancing the cause of liberty to be dismissed in any of a variety of modes.

Available modes include Abrupt Rejection, Sarcastic Contempt, Sneering Disdain and a wide range of others.



Our engineers have designed each model of One True Path to Liberty® to exacting specifications - and every unit is manufactured to within precise (in)tolerances.

One True Path to Liberty® is the ideal solution for those who do not wish to be distracted by any ideas or courses of action that do not conform to the prejudices of their own One True Path to Liberty®.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Occam's Banana again.

 

[kathy88]

Thread full of win.

 

[ClydeCoulter]

Is there a package deal? I like to have my toolbox for liberty loaded with as many tools a possible. Can one purchase more than one model?

 

[kathy88]

Is shipping free if I order in the next hour?

 

[acptulsa]

Why is there only one variety of the Absolutist model? Will it really work for me regardless of whether I'm absolutely sure that the One True Path to Liberty is jailing my obese neighbors, or absolutely sure the One True Path to Liberty is bombing randomly selected brown people into oblivion? Is there any chance the One True Path to Liberty could possibly be rude enough to not fit my preconceived notions?

 

[FSP-Rebel]

If our guy misses winning the state chair of the MIGOP by 5 votes at the state convention in a few weeks because 6 "pro-liberty" people don't show up, does One True Path to Liberty provide insurance to offset that?

 

[Occam's Banana]

Is there a package deal? I like to have my toolbox for liberty loaded with as many tools a possible. Can one purchase more than one model?

We are sorry. You appear to be one of those people who unwisely imagines that there might be use or value in more than one approach to advancing the cause of liberty.

Unfortunately, such people will find that our One True Path to Liberty® line of products will not be of any use to them.

Each One True Path to Liberty® model is designed to offer one and only one approach to the advancement of liberty.

Thank you for your inquiry. We regret that we will not be able to do business with you.