Lady Liberty answers your questions about love and life

[Acala]

Dear Lady Liberty,

I have a Rolex datejust model 1601 with gold trim I want to sell so I can buy a Sharps .45 70 Buffalo Rifle. Is this going to increase or decrease my attractiveness to a liberty-minded gal?

Buffalo Blake

 

[shane77m]

Thanks for the ahhh, errrr, advice Lady but we had to put down the dog this morning. This is a picture of him and my little brother.

 

[Dear Lady Liberty]

My Dear Fresh Prince,

While the manor of your aunt and uncle may offend your olfactory receptors, as a resident of such a noble estate you are less likely, nay almost completely unlikely to get arrested for partaking of opium. The magistrate will surely avoid your gaze and pursue less illustrious individuals for beatings and imprisonment. These enticements alone should recommend the new situation to you highly. Additionally, while at the manor you can train in fisticuffs, fencing and the shooting of dueling pistols to aid you in future skirmishes with the base ruffians residing in the Hamlet of West Philadelphia, in defense of yourself and your esteemed mother.

Cordially,

Lady Liberty

Dear Lady Liberty,

My name is Prince William. I reside in the sublime hamlet of West Philadelphia and spend most of my time in local fields and courtyards, enjoying calm meditation and playful recreation, shooting the occasional game of baskets and generally being at ease. But recently, this all changed when I was accosted by a small band of town ruffians who seemed intent on disturbing the calm serenity of the village. I took umbrage, and the hooligans and I eventually came to blows.

My mother, once informed of this incident, went into fits of of hysteria and announced her desire to send me far, far away, to the manor of my dear aunt and uncle, the Duchess and Duke of Belair. But I find taxicabs to be crude monstrosities, offensive to my olfactory receptors and epicurean sensibilities, so I don't wish to make the journey. Should I be a good son and acquiesce to my mother's whim (as frivolous as it may be), or should I make my objections known to her, and, if necessary, insist on remaining at my childhood home? I'm not even sure I would like living at this...Belair.

yours truly, the Fresh Prince

 

[Dear Lady Liberty]

Dear Buffalo Blake,

If the lady in question is truly liberty-minded your possession of such a fine rifle should excite her much more than a wristwatch, no matter how fine. That said, you must be vigilant and avoid caressing, polishing and oiling your weapon so much that you have little remaining desire to be romantic and tender with your lady love.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Dear Lady Liberty,

I have a Rolex datejust model 1601 with gold trim I want to sell so I can buy a Sharps .45 70 Buffalo Rifle. Is this going to increase or decrease my attractiveness to a liberty-minded gal?

Buffalo Blake

 

[Dear Lady Liberty]

Dear Shane,

This is an interesting development. So Santorum took the GOP for a ride and not the other way around. Then the lobbyists, Lindsay and his big brother put him down. Very interesting. Or perhaps I was mistaken and your letter was about a dog. In which case I apologize and wish your yellow dog a good pet funeral and a place in doggy heaven.


Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Thanks for the ahhh, errrr, advice Lady but we had to put down the dog this morning. This is a picture of him and my little brother.

 

[pcosmar]

Thanks for the ahhh, errrr, advice Lady but we had to put down the dog this morning. This is a picture of him and my little brother.

LOL@ Old Yeller

You should have handed your brother a loaded pistol and had him say goodby and put the dog down himself.
A tough lesson in personal responsibility,, but a valuable lesson just the same.

 

[kill the banks]

dear lady liberty :

as you can see by my avatar there already is a great affinity to ask you out and chat ... if this should result in marriage I swear I will take my marching orders from the constitution with you riding shotgun till kill the banks forever

let's get together !

 

[Noble Savage]

lady liberty I'm gonna do open mic night tonight should I do covers or originals?

 

[Dear Lady Liberty]

Dear Let's Get Together,

While your message makes my coppery skin tingle I have vowed to remain a chaste virgin so as to not be distracted from my fight for freedom and advice column writing. If a platonic relationship works for you that might be a possibility but I'll have to get to know you better.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

dear lady liberty :

as you can see by my avatar there already is a great affinity to ask you out and chat ... if this should result in marriage I swear I will take my marching orders from the constitution with you riding shotgun till kill the banks forever

let's get together !

 

[shane77m]

Dear Shane,

This is an interesting development. So Santorum took the GOP for a ride and not the other way around. Then the lobbyists, Lindsay and his big brother put him down. Very interesting. Or perhaps I was mistaken and your letter was about a dog. In which case I apologize and wish your yellow dog a good pet funeral and a place in doggy heaven.


Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Thank you Lady Liberty. We had a most excellent funeral. Unbeknownst to us the yellow dog sired some puppies before he met his demise. Here is a pic of me holding one of them. I would say though that Santorum did take his followers for a ride.

LOL@ Old Yeller

You should have handed your brother a loaded pistol and had him say goodby and put the dog down himself.
A tough lesson in personal responsibility,, but a valuable lesson just the same.

I thought about that but I guess I am just too big of a softy. I was afraid it might destroy what happy memories he has before the coming next four years of a potential Obama repeat. I took it upon myself to dispatch the dog in a humane manner.

 

[Dear Lady Liberty]

Dear Savage,

Read your crowd. Are they already pumped up and ready to groove to anything? Play some originals. Are they getting a bit restless and looking discontented? Pull out some well known covers and get them fired up.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

lady liberty I'm gonna do open mic night tonight should I do covers or originals?

 

[sailingaway]

Dear Perplexed,

I know this might hurt but you have moved from merely being obsessed with Ron Paul to having an emotional affair with him. I bet if Ron Paul said "blowback" and waggled his truly epic eyebrows you would have known exactly what he meant. For you hanging brochures on doorknobs for Ron Paul is a new source of physical passion. This is an unrequited love and the relationship is going nowhere. You should know by now that the Constitution is Ron Paul's only love besides Carol and unless you are an old piece of parchment signed by our country's founders or an Austrian economic theory your chances are nil.

The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem and I commend you for having made it here. Now you need to work on distancing yourself enough from Ron Paul that he isn't on your mind during every waking moment. Try meditating for a few minutes every day on something far removed from Ron Paul, like a pretty flower or a cloud in the sky (no that's not a chemtrail, get back to thinking about the puffiness). Then when you are in a personal situation use your happy non-Ron Paul place to drag yourself away from him and then quickly make eye contact with your husband (or another person who you want to engage with) before that intelligent, freedom loving, looks so good with that bike in his military uniform Ron Paul steals your mind back away.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Oh, you're good....

 

[Noble Savage]

crowd was dead so did the drug sex and smiles set