Perhaps the rapture happened ages ago and each and every one of us, from the self-proclaimed 'saved' to the lowliest of atheist scum, have been left behind...
Went through some really hard times a long time ago during a divorce. To make a long story a little shorter I knew I had to leave. I left the house with only the suit I was married in on my back. No shoes.
Anyway after miles and miles I came upon a bird that had fallen out of a tree. There were hundreds nesting in it. I couldn't tell which nest and I couldn't reach any besides. I decided to return home for the bird.
There was also also a song out then that sort of fit where I was at.
I got back to an empty house and tried to feed that little bird and keep it warm. Carrying him all that way hadn't done him any good.
Well into the night I set with that bird. I was overcome with the feeling that if I went to sleep he wouldn't make it.
Up I stayed with him. At some point maybe I figured it was him or me... still I tried to stay awake. It was very early when I laid down just for a minute. Our existences seemed connected on some level beyond us. I drifted off to a point where I was still a little awake and at the same time grabbed by the inability to wake myself. Right at the moment I was going off or gone I heard a PEEP reach out to me.
When I woke up he was gone. The memory of that peep I'm thinking was his last.
Yesterday was judgement day and he didn't make it. I did though.
Like I mentioned I was going through a divorce. With that burden and what happened to the bird on my mind I was held up in thought.
That night the feeling that judgement day was today overcame me again. This time I feared for myself. It seemed overwhelming at the time. Once again into the wee hours and once again I grasp at staying awake fearing it was my time. Finally I just was so tired I just had to except if it was, it was, and off I drifted.
I awoke still here. Though I was certain it was judgement day yesterday, I had made it. I thought everything was going to be okay.
Once again the fear overcame me!
Once again into the night I fought to stay alive as long as I could. Once again I succumbed to sleep.
Once again I had made it past judgement day and made it alright.
Again the fear overcame me.
Again into the night I fought to stay alive as long as I could. Once again I succumbed to sleep.
Again I had made it past judgement day and made it alright.
This kept up night after night for how many nights I can't rightly remember at the moment.
I gave what was going on a lot of thought.
It seemed the first time was for the bird.
It seemed the second time was for me.
It wasn't until it occurred to me that the following nights were meant to let me know that it had passed for others. It wasn't for me night after night. It was for everyone else!
Once I was able to look back and see judgement day in that light I had no trouble with that judgement day feeling overcoming me at night.
It did open up a whole new perspective.
Perhaps it was for everyone. Perhaps everything everyone of us had ever done was very important in getting us to where we are today. Perhaps we to need to start a new day fresh looking forward. The only looking back we can really do anything about is on a personal level. We could still learn from what we ourselves thought were mistakes. Perhaps if we learned from some of the things we weren't happy with they somehow could become a good thing.
Anyway while the lesson still remained fresh it seemed to me I had to except others for who they are. We have to try move forward free of the grudges of the past.
Also I found some things in life that would set my temper off. Letting it fly never really seemed to help. I noticed many times that if I just held it in, and waited and watched life unfold, the thing that I thought was an infraction would somehow unfold into something that worked out a benefit for me.
That was mostly when the lesson was fresh.
