I never said there is an orthodox neocon policy of big government at home (in fact, isn't that what you were saying, not me?). There is no such thing as an orthodox neocon policy of any kind of government at home. As your own source indicates, different neocons have different domestic policies. But what makes them neocons is their foreign policy. A neoconservative who opposes the welfare state is still a neoconservative. If they happen to be in the minority of neoconservatives on that point it doesn't change that, since they hold to neoconservative ideology in the foreign policy issues that define it.
On the other hand, proponents of the welfare state who oppose democracy building are not neoconservatives, because, regardless of their domestic policy, they do not meet the definition of a neoconservative, which is all about foreign policy.
Just read that wikipedia article that you linked. It looks pretty good to me. The definition of "neoconservative" is right in the first sentence.
No it isn't. As your own source says, and as you have already admitted, in the parts I bolded in my previous comment, and again in what you say below.
Right. So in other words, those things aren't part of the definition of a neoconservative. You can be a neoconservative and not be any of those things. The defining feature of neoconservatism is its foreign policy.
So, since, as you correctly say, some neoconservatives are not marxists, trotskyites, social liberals, trade unionists, or any other thing related to domestic policy, you can't say that any given person is disqualified from being a neoconservative on those grounds. This brings us back to the question of O'Donnell. Is she a neoconservative? I don't know if she is. I certain never accused her of being one. But since it's possible for someone with her domestic policies still to be a neoconservative, it can't be those that disqualify her from having the label attached to her. Does she have a neoconservative foreign policy? I don't know. You seem to have implied that she does. And if she does, then she's a neoconservative.
To put it another way. Some neoconservatives are not liberal on domestic policy. But what about foreign policy? Are there some neoconservatives who don't support foreign intervention to support democratic regimes? No, there are no neoconservatives who don't support that, because that is the defining feature of a neoconservative.
People who think that clearly don't know what neoconservatism is. Neoconservatism has nothing to do with a strong national defense. It has everything to do with a particular kind of non-defensive, interventionist, use of the military that actually makes us less safe. Strong defense Republicans like Pat Buchanan and John Hostettler are the opposite of neoconservatives, precisely because of that foreign policy difference.