IF you were elected president?

First thing I'd do is make room for all these neo-cons in prison by pardoning all non-violent drug offenders.
 
End the war on drugs, start war on bugs.*


*That is, bugs that are so stupid to come inside a house, those that stay outside can live.
 
in order....
1. Gold Standard or something relatively similar FIRST
2. Make the Interest rates free market or at least attempt to.
3. Do everything I could to kick out the Israeli and other special interest BY getting back to constitutional supporting congressman perhaps by charging some congressman with Treason.
 
Get together with my cabinet and have a meeting to discuss what government agencies and programs need to go, get downsized and which ones need to stay.
 
1. Declare war on Switzerland.

2. Impose a trade embargo on Canada

Why? Just to confuse everyone.(I did it for the lulz) Then I will get to the real business.
 
The first thing I would do would be to eliminate the national emergency that began March 9, 1933. When the dust settled or the next morning which ever came first I would end the war on drugs and eliminate the Federal Reserve and the IRS.
 
1.) Select Ron Paul as Vice President.
2.) Resign and enjoy my newfound freedom.
 
In order of things I'd push on America

1. Appoint cabinet & VP (since apparently not elected).
a. Sec. Treasury - Peter Schiff
b. Press Secy./Secretary of Public Information - John Stossel
c. VPs - Mary Ruwart & yongrel (I would always laugh knowing he's my bitch)
d. Eliminate all other cabinet members.

2. PARTY on taxpayers $. Probably a 100-virgin orgy.
3. Eliminate ALL federal departments/agencies less those that are a part of the judicial system.
4. Withdraw ALL troops overseas and move to an isolationist foreign policy. Eliminate all branches of the military.
5. Get Fidel Castro sloppy drunk and take pictures of him in compromising poses.
6. Create a document affirming states' rights to secede.
7. Void the Constitution. It has failed to do its job.
8. Put Ruwart & Stossel on creating a document to replace the Constitution that tells the federal gov't what it CAN do.
9. Eliminate all taxes not necessary to fund our judiciary system ONLY WHEN the national debt is paid off.
10. Call our legislators the greatest defrauders, purporters of bullshit and assholes ever to walk this country's bloodied soil (make sure to exclude Dr. Paul from this list... Kucinich gets an unsure hand gesture and a wink).
11. Eliminate all federal funding for anything not already mentioned (again with the exception of the judicial system).
12. Apologize to all nations for our interventionist and protectionist policies.
13. FREE TRADE. EVERYWHERE.
14. Another orgy.
15. Send the new Constitution to the states to be ratified.
16. Show off dance moves on live television.
17. Pose as though I have dementia to gain sympathy from would-be assassins.
18. Stage an assassination so that my policies will be well regarded by History.
19. Remain dead.
20. Make sure that yongrel doesn't win the special presidential race.
 
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