Headline Help--Please Help Time sensitive llepard

[garrettwombat]

i like the way you had it... because 85k is a large sum of money... and you are not a business or corporation and it just goes to show how generous you are and how determined you are to get paul elected

 

[phree]

2nd line:

Because money is worthless without liberty and security.

Because money is worthless without freedom.

Because an honest politician is worth the investment.

 

[max]

Max, a lot of people read the NYT, not just New Yorkers.

I understand that...but theres no way a NY Times ad can target Iowa and NH as well as multiplae ads in local papers..

The bulk of the money is being spent to influence voters who are not yet in play. Ads in Iowa and NH only would go 100% towards voters who are gonna be voting in 2 weeks.

 

[Danny]

You've got to keep the number. There's a big difference between what you did (and are doing) and a typical full page ad. The number is the bait to get them to read the ad.

 

[RPatTheBeach]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.

Couldn't say it better myself.

 

[ExpatinArgentina]

I would have had no idea how much a full page ad costs if you did not state it.

 

[phree]

Oops. Already posted.

 

[llepard]

How about changing the first line to read:

"Why would one man spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

Takes the "I" out of it. Third person.

Thoughts.

 

[phree]

I understand that...but theres no way a NY Times ad can target Iowa and NH as well as multiplae ads in local papers..

The bulk of the money is being spent to influence voters who are not yet in play. Ads in Iowa and NH only would go 100% towards voters who are gonna be voting in 2 weeks.

This ad might become newsworthy because of the human interest aspect. It's a rarity that a private citizen would donate so much money to a "long shot". If the story is picked up it will maximize the return on his investment. At the least it should get some play on the internet.

 

[Nefertiti]

I like it. But is the rest of the ad written in the first person or the third person? You don't want to confuse people too much switching pronouns. If you do that you will have to make anything else that is in the first person a quote.

 

[ilovemypitbull]

I didn't see how much time you have to decide, but maybe you could make a quick website and Adwords account to split test headlines. Generally you can guess what headline will pull the best, but the only way to know for sure is to test it. Adwords lets you run split tests really easily, and from counting clickthroughs, you could determine a winner. As we say in marketing, test and track!

 

[ggibson1]

What type of people read the NY Times? Will they feel that $85K is bragging?

 

[Rebel Resource]

How about changing the first line to read:

"Why would one man spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

Takes the "I" out of it. Third person.

Thoughts.

Still no. Needs to specify the writer of the piece itself.

More people would "turn off" through this lack of directness than would be turned off by the perception of any kind of arrogance. If anything, arrogance doesn't prevent people from reading at all. It gives it more edge.

 

[llepard]

The most important words in the whole piece are the headlines.

If you sacrifice attention-grabbing for humility, you deserve neither

LMAO.

Brilliant. LWL

 

[noztnac]

What you may not be aware of is that most of us couldn't give that much if we wanted to. You are obviously richer than the average American. Many people will read this as "Some rich guy supports a political candidate." There's nothing new in that message. Maybe you need to put the amount in some kind of perspective. Make it clear that $85,000 is a lot of money for you too.

Whatever you choose to do we support your efforts. Thanks.

 

[Rebel Resource]

Just a thought.

The simple word change to

Why WOULD I spend $85,000 to support
Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

changes nothing fundamental and probably alleviates some of your concerns

 

[Sey.Naci]

No, keep the 'I'. The rest of the article is in the first person, as it should be.

 

[deltabourne]

Leave the money! Make a poll if you have any doubts, the money is so important. People are conditioned to stop and look when they see certain things, and big dollar amounts is definitely one of those things

 

[mconder]

I think if you take a poll on this, it might be split 50/50. On one hand, then number is significant and impressive to some people. On the other hand, some people may find it ostentatious and self aggrandizing. I would have a hard time making that call. Can I ask why you just didn't run the USA Today add again?

 

[Liberty]

I think the number adds impact. What is there about this candidate that an individual is willing to put out that kind of money?