Fifth Draft of USA Today Ad -- Really about final!!

[Convert]

This ones the best. If George and Ben switched places, they'd all be looking towards the center.

 

[Voice]

I thing this revision should be the final.

 

[syborius]

I thought I'd take a swing at laying this out differently. All the same elements are there except I replaced "An Open Letter To The American People" with "Ron Paul for President" because I think that's what the focus should be. It could be switched back just as easily.

Keep in mind that I did this very quick and dirty just to see how it would look. Some things are out of proportion, there are some squiggly lines where they should be straight, etc. This was chopped up from acmegeek's version, so you can see the Statue of Liberty background, although it got pretty distorted while moving things around. It's just an attempt at giving it a cleaner, less cluttered feel.

bravo. no gravestone!

 

[kipload]

Almost perfect...

In response to some feedback from others, I have made a NEW design revision.

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks!

Acmegeek,

Could you please try the following so we can see what it looks like... Some of us have been asking for the following.

1) Remove the Ron Paul info in parenthesis from the "warned us..." section.

2) Change the the wording of the four middle bullet points. Instead of what Ron Paul "will do" make it read what he "is" doing or "has" done.

3) Only list the website and phone number (1-877-RON-PAUL) at the bottom.

4) "legions of illegals" to "millions of illegals"

These items have been brought up by a few people here, and I think using your version with the statue overlay (which is AWESOME) and these minor tweaks and this version will be about perfect.

 

[maeqFREEDOMfree]

I'd make the pres-pics face eachother too... other than that it looks and sounds pretty good.

Nice work and thanks to those responsible to making it happen things like this, more things like this should be done

 

[Proemio]

travesty in the big picture or big picture in the travesty?

The travesty of the process.

The first thing you do when starting an advertising project - any project - is nail down the purpose, then the strategy.
What precisely do you want to achieve, i.e. the big picture of the project, and how best to achieve it. i.e. the strategy.

When the first thread was initiated, we had an ad with a request for comments and suggestions. Since there was no statement of purpose, except "post your thoughts". That amounted to throwing a piece of red meat into a pond of piranhas. I don't suggest that was the idea, but that's how it inevitably had to work out. Some tearing on this, some one that. Some going in this direction, some in the opposite - all over the place. It's still going on, after x threads and n revisions. Huge amounts of energy being wasted on cross-purposes. All because there was never a statement of purpose.

Now we learn that there actually is/was a big picture and a strategy?

The easily avoidable mess is the travesty.

 

[HammerDR]

I helped work on the Ames ad (those of you that helped should remember) . Throughout the process, we had several designs being discussed. Each of these designs were redone over and over again. Each design had its own drastic changes. While this ad has been less of a job done by the community, I don't think that there is any reason why this couldn't have done the same. I realize that it is nearly deadline and that having people come up with new ideas in less that 24 hours is a little.. pressing. So, I'm not going to say that you must completely redesign it (plus, its your money). Unfortunately, my advice comes too late, but here it is any way: don't be afraid to alter the design. Don't be afraid to be radical with it. Don't by afraid to omit important things and don't be afraid to leave things out. Advertisements are about quick punches that grab people's attention. Using pictures, symbols, etc. are how you convey deeper meaning into the advertisement. Ads are a form of art that appeal to the emotional and sensual side of people in order to compel them to do something else--in our case it should be to learn more about Ron Paul. However, this advertisement reads like a legal argument. And, while I appreciate everything that the ad states, not many people are like me and enjoy reading court decisions because of the exciting legal arguments.

I also know that you're going for a different kind of ad. However, a wall of text, while "different" is bad for several reasons.

1) It's a newspaper. The newspaper itself is a wall of text and it will be hard to point out.

2) A wall of text is often very scary to people (thus why USA Today has all those flashy colors).

3) While persuading the well-informed takes a long, reasoned argument--people that take things at a passing glance (such as adverts) are motivated by images. These images can be invoked by words, sounds, color or the images themselves. In order to convince most people that they want Dr. Paul, you have to find things that they'll associate with a man that they want to be President.

I appreciate what is going on here--however, I do believe that this ad went the wrong direction in the first place. But, since this is your money and this is your decision, I can only trust that you do what is best with your own money. I wish you the best of luck no matter what decision you make. Thanks again!

 

[Proemio]

Just a difference of opinion from life experiences. With out Max this ad would not be this good and without Llepard it would not be possible . So I thank God for both of them and I sure have gotten a lot of entertainment out of all of this. I love you guys.

Absolutely!

That's why I took offense.
It's foolish to argue what has more value: the ideas, or the means.
But we certainly don't need to have a man of ideas (and action) devalued in the eyes of those easily impressed.

I wish this thing be put to bed already - any version...

 

[mtmedlin]

I am not getting into the whole debate on the message. At some point you have to stop editing and send it to the printers. At this point we have a severe case of ANALYSIS PARALYSIS.
My one and ONLY suggestion is to use th overlay that Acmeuy put in. It does break it up a little and help with the tombstone look.

 

[voytechs]

Okay, one more time here.

Top: BAD.
Bottom: good!

And another idea:

Or better yet, under the words "warned..." in the same column, put "Ron Paul will..." and then the solution. Make it explicit that this is what Ron Paul will do to fix it.

 

[bmcosti]

Ninja Homer version wowed me

Ninja Homer's proposal wowed me. It struck me as much more readable. Much more appealing and less intimidating to me. I would be much more willing to read that one at first glance then the one that we have been editing. It has a much more "newspapery" feel to it.

 

[TooConservative]

I agree with the guy saying bigger picture of Ron.

Four pictures of the Founders are nice but each one is twice as big as Ron's picture. A lot of ad space being devoted to just those pics.

Not sure how the black semi-oval background at the top will look. Anyone here a professional graphic designer? I know there are established standards for what works best in these layouts.

Still, it's great as is.

Just my amateur opinions and meant constructively.

 

[raystone]

Good Luck. I for one would never read all of that .

How about sticking to encouragement and appreciation for this huge RP effort ? In addition, most who have gained some interest in Ron Paul WILL read the entire ad, takes about a minute. Also MANY who have an interest in the US, of the 5.2 MILLION readers, will read the entire ad.

 

[syborius]

I agree with the guy saying bigger picture of Ron.

Four pictures of the Founders are nice but each one is twice as big as Ron's picture. A lot of ad space being devoted to just those pics.

Not sure how the black semi-oval background at the top will look. Anyone here a professional graphic designer? I know there are established standards for what works best in these layouts.

Still, it's great as is.

Just my amateur opinions and meant constructively.

yes, ninja homer fixed most of what was wrong. i've been in design for over 12 years. look at both.

 

[kipload]

I thought I'd take a swing at laying this out differently. All the same elements are there except I replaced "An Open Letter To The American People" with "Ron Paul for President" because I think that's what the focus should be. It could be switched back just as easily.

Keep in mind that I did this very quick and dirty just to see how it would look. Some things are out of proportion, there are some squiggly lines where they should be straight, etc. This was chopped up from acmegeek's version, so you can see the Statue of Liberty background, although it got pretty distorted while moving things around. It's just an attempt at giving it a cleaner, less cluttered feel.

+1 (minus the "Ron Paul will..." in the "warned us..." section.)

 

[Mauiboy86]

I agree that the "We the Founding Fathers" would look and read better as "The Founding Fahers"

 

[MsDoodahs]

When is Draft #6 going to be posted?

 

[RonPaulStreetTeam]

I helped work on the Ames ad (those of you that helped should remember) . Throughout the process, we had several designs being discussed. Each of these designs were redone over and over again. Each design had its own drastic changes. While this ad has been less of a job done by the community, I don't think that there is any reason why this couldn't have done the same. I realize that it is nearly deadline and that having people come up with new ideas in less that 24 hours is a little.. pressing. So, I'm not going to say that you must completely redesign it (plus, its your money). Unfortunately, my advice comes too late, but here it is any way: don't be afraid to alter the design. Don't be afraid to be radical with it. Don't by afraid to omit important things and don't be afraid to leave things out. Advertisements are about quick punches that grab people's attention. Using pictures, symbols, etc. are how you convey deeper meaning into the advertisement. Ads are a form of art that appeal to the emotional and sensual side of people in order to compel them to do something else--in our case it should be to learn more about Ron Paul. However, this advertisement reads like a legal argument. And, while I appreciate everything that the ad states, not many people are like me and enjoy reading court decisions because of the exciting legal arguments.

I also know that you're going for a different kind of ad. However, a wall of text, while "different" is bad for several reasons.

1) It's a newspaper. The newspaper itself is a wall of text and it will be hard to point out.

2) A wall of text is often very scary to people (thus why USA Today has all those flashy colors).

3) While persuading the well-informed takes a long, reasoned argument--people that take things at a passing glance (such as adverts) are motivated by images. These images can be invoked by words, sounds, color or the images themselves. In order to convince most people that they want Dr. Paul, you have to find things that they'll associate with a man that they want to be President.

I appreciate what is going on here--however, I do believe that this ad went the wrong direction in the first place. But, since this is your money and this is your decision, I can only trust that you do what is best with your own money. I wish you the best of luck no matter what decision you make. Thanks again!

that's what I've been trying to say but only get attacked by a small group egging this in the wrong direction.

 

[meadors]

1) Remove the "WE" at top.

2) Ron Paul will put America and Americans first is stated TWICE. Remove the 4 statements above Ron Paul's picture, then enlarge his picture.

3) Place text or a picture of the American flag on the left side of his picture for balance, or remove the text on the right side.

4) The word "Preemptive" is listed twice on the bottom left statements. Remove the text about Iran, due to the news yesterday by the military ... IRAN may no longer be an issue.

5) Change the order to the 3rd, 4th & 5th statements on the left so that the sentence lengths continue with the shortest lines first and flow to the longest lines (instead of having the longest lines in the middle).

6) The statement "Together we can change the World" is not consistant with Ron Paul's statments of a humble foreign policy and minding our own business. Change it to "Together we can restore the Republic .... and/or Freedom and Liberty.

7) Are you sure Ron Paul has never or will not accept any money from special interest groups or lobbyist, directly or indirectly?

 

[cero]

God damn people STOP butchering it!
Let the guy do it the way he wants