Draft of USA Today Ad

[MsDoodahs]

I'm buying several copies of that USA Today... in fact, that will be the secondary story put out in USA Today when we set a single day record sells day for them.

Yeah, I'm going to buy a bunch and take them around to different spots, leaving them open to that page.

 

[Robben]

Very nice.

Although I agree with ConceivedInLiberty that there is a dilemma as to how much we should attack parties and also the MSM. The message resonates better if we make Ron Paul Pro freedom rather than ANTI establishment.

 

[SeanEdwards]

Mad props to Lepard.

A modern day John Hancock, pledging life, fortune, and sacred honor for our revolution. Truly inspiring.

 

[ronpaulyourmom]

#6 - "conspire" and "pretend" etc... strikes of conspiriacy language, please avoid using that.
#7 - "deliberately" left open... we know this to be true but it comes off as the same thing as #8 - same thing, they're reading the mainstream media, they dont want to be told how bad it is. It'll come off the wrong way.

We need to come across as an honest mainstream alternative, so avoiding these types of buzz words is pretty important.

 

[coboman]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

 

[bbachtung]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

You are underestimating the boredom of the airport / hotel / cab. USA Today is distributed at many major hotel chains and is always available at the airport.

As for the ad, all I can say is AWESOME, and THANKS to llepard.

 

[torchbearer]

The Founding Fathers bit is really presumptuous. Had I not heard of Ron Paul, I wouldn't bother to read far enough down to get to his positions because I don't have much respect for people who use timeless icons like the Founding Fathers (or 9/11 or...) as a mere political weapon with lofty insistance that they would be endorsed were they alive today.

I think Ron Paul's message is strong enough that we don't need to resort to something like this.

From a sociological perspective, Symbols are important. Founding fathers symbolize a return to the founding principles, the constitution, to presume otherwise would also be presumptuous.

 

[dsentell]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

I find it very eye catching, though I would like to see a larger pic of Dr. Paul.

It dies have a lot of info, but there are people out there who don't know who RP is and if they find this info in their hands, they may be curious enough to take the time to learn.

 

[robert4rp08]

That's beautiful!

One suggestion though. It's a sea of text and nothing really pops out at you. It might help to bold, underline, italicize key words. Ron Paul, liberty, freedom, etc. Or like in that first section, underline the sentences that say "Ron Paul will....."

 

[Dlynne]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

In agree with this. I think "would support" is lot less presumptuous.

 

[Hope]

From a sociological perspective, Symbols are important. Founding fathers symbolize a return to the founding principles, the constitution, to presume otherwise would also be presumptuous.

I'm not presuming they don't mean that, I'm saying that it's laughable to pretend to know who the Founding Fathers would endorse. We would all like to think RP and Ben Franklin would be like two peas in a pod, but the fact remains that to the average person who does not know who RP is, that'll seem like nothing more than a shallow ploy to give a politician false accolades.

 

[DeadheadForPaul]

I find it very eye catching, though I would like to see a larger pic of Dr. Paul.

It dies have a lot of info, but there are people out there who don't know who RP is and if they find this info in their hands, they may be curious enough to take the time to learn.

It just seems to be like it'd be more effective to list 5 or 6 of his positions in big font rather than like 30 in tiny font

Also: "Raising 4.3 million..." You might want to explain "Ron Paul supporters raised 4.3 Mill and set A RECORD" because i bet many people still have no idea about that and we're trying to reach people whp have no idea about Dr Paul

 

[SeanEdwards]

The Founding Fathers bit is really presumptuous. Had I not heard of Ron Paul, I wouldn't bother to read far enough down to get to his positions because I don't have much respect for people who use timeless icons like the Founding Fathers (or 9/11 or...) as a mere political weapon with lofty insistance that they would be endorsed were they alive today.

I think Ron Paul's message is strong enough that we don't need to resort to something like this.

I kinda agree with this, it does seem presumptuous to put words in dead folks mouths.

I think it's possible that the thing could be re-structured to convey the same effect without turning the founders into spokesmen.

For instance, instead of "We the Founders", how about "The Founder's warned us of..."? And then, something like "Ron Paul is the only candidate who endorses the philosophy of the founders, and the only candidate who shares their vision of liberty, prosperity, and peace. Etc. etc..

 

[aroberso]

Awesome ad. If folks here can help improve it with their suggestions, great. If not, its still great!

I'm thinking to myself about the types of people that read USA Today. It is a sound-byte type of newspaper, covering things topically and never getting to the meat of things.

This ad will be by far the most "meaty" thing in the paper on that day.

I hope people will treat it almost as an article, and just read it. I think there's enough buzz about Dr. Paul (hopefully even more by then) that we may be pleasantly surprised how many folks take the time to read it.

My humble thanks to Llepard for this.

 

[Hope]

It just seems to be like it'd be more effective to list 5 or 6 of his positions in big font rather than like 30 in tiny font

Also: "Raising 4.3 million..." You might want to explain "Ron Paul supporters raised 4.3 Mill and set A RECORD" because i bet many people still have no idea about that and we're trying to reach people whp have no idea about Dr Paul

I agree.

 

[Lord Xar]

that ad is STUPENDOUS.. all the relevent points, and all laid out nicely.

My "only" critique.. not that you are asking.. is this:

"Ron Paul has receive more military donations from any other candidate" -- to me, that could be construed incorrectly... perhaps..

"Ron Paul has received more donations from military personal than any other candidate"

or something like that..

 

[ronpaulyourmom]

Frankly I think its overdone. It's very preachy, and all the bullet points at the bottom about Ron Paul's record does nothing to establish why these are good ideas. It's the usual stuff that scares people off. Abolishing the IRS, replace money, what?!?! stuff like that...

I think a better idea is focus on one issue, the fall of the US dollar, and why Ron Paul is the solution to this problem. Then lets back it up with quotes and opinions from CNBC types (steve forbes? Kudlow? Santelli?). Old people who read the people will think about their savings, working professionals will think about their future, etc... If we're going to address this issue, lets use the whole ad to do it. We can make quick mentions about foreign policy and how this ties into the massive overspending.

Lets think about the audience and lets think about how we can really really break through and get them thinking, not bombard them.

 

[DjLoTi]

It's an ad... jezz... no one can ever get along

 

[krott5333]

okay, there is way too much negativity in this thread.

I however think it is a nearly perfect ad. I would agree to get rid of the two party line, bump everything up a notch to fill in that space, and add something about making sure to vote for RP in the primaries.

but other than that.. it is AWESOME. I think people would definitely read it, its a full page! And I think it would grab one's attention.

Way to go!

 

[Vvick727]

idk if putting "Revolution" in would be a good idea