First this is a really bad argument, a lot of women stay in relationships like this for a long time due to these base sexual instincts. That is evidence they exist in and of itself. The fact that men who are able to obtain the most women use these traits to pick up and obtain women is not surprising, yet I do think it is sad.
But you still don't seem to understand that there is nothing preventing women from adjusting their attraction to other men.
For example, most guys are actually turned off when a female takes the active dating role. My base sexual attraction would then tell me not to be attracted to these women, yet I have no problem with women who take the active dating role. I made an adjustment, many women make these adjustments often and end up being with a guy who doesn't have these characteristics - although as I said before it is often less sexually centered and the men in these relationships can sometimes feel neglected in that the woman would do more sexual things more often for an alpha male type who treats them poorly and seeing this dynamic play out is what causes so many guys to treat women poorly.
All I'm saying is that feminists like to complain about how men treat women, yet women give the most sex to men who treat them poorly - they may SAY they like men who treat them better, but women on the whole give them less sex and so men think that what women really want is to treat them poorly.. men want sex because most men who aren't addicted to benzos and have a sex drive actually need to get laid once in a while so they can calm the fuck down and so they can focus on thoughts and other things besides how horny they are and how badly they need to get laid.
No, those women remain in abusive relationships because they have low self-esteem, have been convinced they can't do better, have suffered psychological trauma or are afraid of being further hurt/targeted/humiliated, among a myriad of other reasons. Simply rationalizing it as "base sexual instincts" is pretty laughable.
Also, you're wrong about women wanting to be treated like shit. Women want to be treated with respect, but not put on a pedestal. Sure, they might like being treated differently in bed, but that remains in the bedroom, not outside of it. Some people like being dominated, others like to dominate. You're generalizing women when in reality, those who "enjoy being treated like shit" are in the minority or wasted at a bar, later regretting it the next morning. Again, the attractive quality is confidence and having social tact goes a long way. You don't go up to a woman, slap her ass and tell her you're going to put your dick in her mouth. Will it eventually work on someone if you do it a million times? Maybe. What does a confident man do?
-Walk up to a woman in a social setting, strike up a conversation without hesitation. Don't put the conversational burden on them by simply saying "hi," and expecting them to take it from there. Be interesting. Women get hit on and harassed by random people every day. What makes you so special? Being humorous and interesting are always great ways to break the ice with anyone.
-Joke with her like you would a buddy, in a playful manner. You can be "cocky and funny" without resorting to being a chauvinistic pig. You know, a playful remark about some observation you made, or nudging her and calling her a little shit or something with a wink and a smile. It's not a difficult concept to grasp. Women are people just like men. Why would you treat a woman like she's any better or worse than your male buddy?
-Don't get all worked up about sex like it's the end of the world if you don't get laid. Becoming bitter because someone rejected you or doesn't want to have sex and acting aggressive about it even when they say no, is abusive. End of story. Go home and make yourself a fucking sandwich and stop caring about the outcome.
-Be aloof and don't hound them 24/7 which makes you look desperate. Relax. Get some hobbies and hang out with them when you have the time and try setting a meet-up. Take initiative and set the day/time. Doesn't work out? Oh well, say you'll do it another time or suggest a different day. Big deal. There are plenty of people out there who will give you the time of day if it doesn't end well for you.
-Don't brag about anything, you'll come across as a major douche who's trying to qualify himself. If you want to bring anything up about yourself, let it happen naturally.
It should be stated that a lot of this is common sense but men have been programmed over some time to become doormats. Not that there's anything wrong with being nice, but as a result, actual assholes have been able to pass off their behavior as confidence. Of course, this false confidence eventually wears thin and their insecurities show, but I think it's a great thing for guys (anyone, really) to be more confident and happy with themselves regardless. Women should be treated like you would like to be treated—not as pieces of meat to be abused or counted as conquests while the double standard still exists where women are classified as sluts for sleeping around. A lot of these "PUA" followers take away the wrong ideas and feel like women owe them something. They think acting like a douche is the answer and that women should be treated like warm socks you jerk off into and toss away the next morning, dehumanizing them and high-fiving their bros. They become cunts, plain and simple.
Due to the way men and women have been socialized to fit specific gender roles, these things I mentioned are effective. I would like to do away entirely with gender roles and a society that encourages kids to behave in specific ways because they're male or female, but that's not our reality currently. Perhaps in a future world, both men and women will approach each other at similar rates instead of the conditioning that dictates men should aggressively pursue and women passively wait/validate. Feminism has a lot of good to teach us.
