A Spiritual Psalter by Ephraim the Syrian

[TER]

The Second Stasis​

40​

Rouse Me, Give Me Energy And Tears​

Stretch forth, O Lord, Thy hand to me who lie in the dust and help me. For I want to get up, but cannot. The burden of sin has crushed me; evil habits hold me chained to the earth, and I am altogether like the paralytic. I vow to change my ways and I fast, but everything remains the same. I am zealous to glorify Thee with my lips, but I have no zeal to please Thee with deeds.

How dare I ask forgiveness of my former sins when I have made no attempt to abandon my former love of sin? Or how shall I shed the old man, when I have not cut off my desire for sinful seductions?

O Lord, raise up me, a paralytic; rouse me who sleep; resurrect me, deadened by sin! Save my miserable soul from death, O Lord who hast authority over life and death!

Before the end comes, exterminate all sin in me; and grant, O Lover of mankind, that I might shed heartfelt tears for the cleansing of the stains of my soul all through my short life, that then I might be saved under the shelter of Thine omnipotent hand, when every soul shudders before Thine awesome glory.

O Master, hearken unto me and accept the supplication of Thy sinful and unworthy servant. Save me freely, according to Thy grace, for Thou art a kindhearted and man-befriending God, and to Thee do we send up glory, thanks and adoration, to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

 

[Andrew-Austin]

Third.


Third person to post after five pages.

 

[TER]

41​

Inside I Am Not What I Appear To Be: Heal Me.​

Woe is me, to what judgment will I be subject, and of what disgrace am I worthy! My inner self is not like my outward appearance: I talk about how to free oneself from the passions, but day and night I myself think about disgraceful passions. I conduct discussions about purity, but myself, I indulge in indecent behavior.

Alas! What trials await me? The truth is that I bear the image of righteousness, but lack its capacity. What face shall I who am guilty of such indecency wear when I approach the Lord God Who knows the secrets of my heart? When I stand in prayer, I am afraid that fire will descend from heaven and burn me up, as it happened in the desert that there came out a fire from the Lord that consumed the men who offered strange incense.

What can I expect, I who am weighed down with such a heavy burden of sins? My heart is consumed with fire, my mind is clouded, righteous thoughts have failed in me: like a dog do I ever return to my own vomit.

I have no boldness before Him Who will try my heart and inner workings. I have no clean thoughts, no tears while praying. Although I sigh and fall prostrate on my shame-filled face and beat my chest - this is a dwelling place of passions, a sweatshop of evil thoughts.

Thou knowest, O Lord, my passions hidden in darkness; the sores of my soul are known to Thee. Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed. If Thou wilt not build the house of my soul, I labor in vain trying to build it myself.

It is true that sometimes I prepare myself to do battle with the passions when they war against me; but the evil wiles of the serpent paralyze the efforts of my soul with sensuality and I yield to them. Though no one visibly ties my hands, the invisible passions drag me away like a captive.

O Lord, enlighten the eyes of my heart, that I might rightly recognize the deceit and the malice of the passions. May Thy grace shield me, that I might be able to stand firm and resist, having girded my loins with courage.

Once Thou, O Lord, didst provide safe passage through the impassable sea for Thy people. Thou gavest Thy people who thirsted water out of a hard rock. Thou alone, according to Thy grace, didst save the one who fell in with the thieves. Have mercy upon me as well, for I have also fallen in to the hands of thieves and, like a captive, I am bound by wicked thoughts.

No one is strong enough to heal the passionate temperament of my soul excepts Thou, O Lord, Who knowest the depths of my soul. Condescend and save me by Thy kindness!

 

[TER]

42​

I Have Fallen: Raise Me Up And Grant That I May Labor If Only A Little While, That I Might Not Be Ashamed At The Judgment.​

Purify me with Thy grace, O kindhearted Father. Wipe away my stains with Thine all-cleansing hyssop and heal my sores, that I might give thanks to Thy grace!

I have fallen: raise me up and strengthen me, O Lord; for Thou raisest up all who have fallen. Stretch forth Thine hand to me and enliven me once again by Thy compassion!

The adversary has deceived me; he has stripped me of my garment and stolen it away. Because of him I remain fruitless and must go to the judgment entirely naked. May Thy mercy be for me a robe in the day of judgment!

What great fear there will be in the day of judgment when every man gives an account of his deeds, thoughts, and even of every time he beckoned with his eyes. Vindicate me on that day, O my Judge, for though I am guilty I wish to repent.

Our hearts will be tormented and suffer exceedingly when all that aroused our desire is reviewed, when every man stands naked and will be called to answer for himself.

On that day, woe to the man who, like me, has committed many transgressions, who has sinned and concealed his sins, that he might escape shame in this world! Fingers will be pointed at him in the day of judgment.

My transgressions have multiplied, my days have passed by and vanished; the end is approaching, but there is no repentance to be found in me. If compassion finds no place for me, woe is me in the day of judgment!

Blessed is the man who has labored some in this world, for he will inherit the kingdom in the intransient world to come. In return for small labors, he will acquire a great inheritance.

At Thy judgment, O our Lord, there will be no partiality. Every man will receive what he deserves. He who has done good deeds will receive the kingdom, and he who has done wicked deeds will receive torment.

Open to me the door of Thy compassion, O Hope of the penitent, and stretch forth to me Thine healing hand to bandage my scabs and mend my sores.

My will refuses to follow Thy will. Do Thou Thyself subdue me to Thy will, that I might thereby receive salvation and glorify Thy will, for it is kind to the penitent.

Mercifully receive my prayer to make peace between me and Thee; and, according to Thy kindness, grant me life in Thy coming. Then the evil one will be ashamed when he sees that Thy truth has pardoned me.

 

[TER]

The Third Stasis​

43​

Life's Lessons​

When you see life's pleasures, beware that they might not distract you, for they conceal death's snares. Likewise a fishermen casts not his hook to no purpose.

As bait for his hook, the enemy uses the delusion of sensuality to arouse desire, that he might thereby catch men's souls and subjects them to himself.

A soul which has been caught to serve the enemy's will then serves as a snare for other souls, for it conceals the grief of sin with its apparent delight.

While exercising the virtues, be not dejected by the labors involved, for there can be no virtue without labor.

While laboring, lift up the eye of your soul and, as you contemplate that joy which is on high, you will not shrink from any task.

The labors of the righteous cultivate the fruit of life but the labors of sinners are filled with ruin. Join yourself to the former and withdraw from the latter; avoid empty labors that do not produce good fruit.

Suffer for God the sorrows of the present life and your hope in the saints will not be in vain.

Those who labor for god's sake stumble, that they might not be confronted with examples that accuse their conscience; but in so doing they only embellish the crowns of conscientious laborers.

Maintain an humble attitude, that you might not lose the fruits of good works. If you cast them away, you will be numbered with those who labor in vain.

Do you want to become a guardian of your soul? Withdraw from every place to a safe harbor, that sensual thoughts might not steal aboard and load your ships.

If you want your harbor to be safe, fence it off with ramparts that cannot be shaken by the storm of passions; otherwise, your harbor will become the site of your downfall.

If passionate words find a place in a soul, they drag it as if by hooks into evil, into the pit of ruin.

Avoid soul-corrupting gatherings and your soul will ever enjoy peace.

 

[TER]

44​

A Song Of Praise To The Redeemer​

Thanks are due to the good One who has saved our race from enslavement to the devil and from death, and has made peace between us and Thy lofty Truth, which we offended by our deceit.

Blessed is the kindhearted One who has sought us out, though we did not seek Him, Who has rejoiced at our salvation and has given us an image of how we have gone astray and been returned, in the parable of the lost sheep.

The Heir and Son cried out and returned our nature which had gone astray; He died and rose again and gladdened the hosts of spirits by returning us and bringing us to repentance.

Inexpressibly great is the love shown by the Lover of mankind; for from our race He chose an Intercessor and through Him made peace between the world and His greatness.

God performed a new miracle in man, great for us and for all creation. For He made our body a temple, and filled it with that which is venerated by all.

Come, O earthly and heavenly beings, wonder and be amazed at this great bestowal of dignity, for our race has been lifted to the immeasurable height of the Divinity.

May heaven and earth and all that is within them sing praises with us to the One Who has magnified our race, for He has renewed His image in us, blotted out our sins, given us His name, and subjected all things to us.

He Who raised us up above all things is deserving of all manner of praise from those who honor Him. Let us all with one voice sing praise to Him and to the Father Who sent Him and to the Holy Spirit.

Holy, Holy, Holy! Blessed is He Who through His good will chose to humiliate Himself and betrothed the holy Church to Himself!

Thy light, O Jesus our Lord, has shone out over creation and scattered the darkness of error. May Thy light shine now in our souls also, O Jesus our King Who are the true light.

Deliver us from all the ruinous thoughts that trouble our souls. Then we will praise Thee with a pure mind, O Son of the unseen Father, for Thou are the true light.

 

[TER]

45​

Lack Of Concern For Eternal Bliss And Endless Torment Is Inconceivable. All Are Called To Contrition.​

Woe is me! What comforts and delights are prepared for us; but there is no one who has labored for salvation, no one who desires such things. Instead we prefer that which is present, temporary and impermanent. We never even bring these eternal delights to mind. What blindness! What diabolical deceit!

Woe is me! What torments are prepared for the punishment of sinners like me who live carelessly. There is no one among us who fears and trembles. With empty words we honor that which we are taught. We take pleasure in the passions of the flesh, for we are bound by them as with iron chains, and there is no one who fights against them; but rather, we who are bound rejoice.

O the all-ruinous wiles of the unclean serpent! How he has darkened the minds of all men, so that our thoughts are perverted and we love ruin more than the good things to come.

Come, let us bend our hearts to contrition, and we will weep before the Lord day and night. Come, let us remember that hour and how inevitable it is, and contritely will we shed tears. Come, let us recall those inexpressible, indescribable delights, and make our hearts contrite. Come, let us recall the terrible and awesome throne and the shame which awaits us when we stand before it - and we will lament for ourselves.

Come, let us remember how the righteous will shine like the sun and the sinners will be like the soot on burnt pots; and, having made our hearts contrite, let us be zealous in good works.

Come, let us confirm ourselves in the fear of God, that we might be made worthy of eternal bliss.

Come, let us fall down before God in contrition and simplicity of heart, for He is good and kindhearted and saves those who repent.

Let us beg Him to bring us into His kingdom of ineffable bliss that has no end.

 

[TER]

The Seventh Kathisma ​

+++​

The First Stasis​

46​

To The Theotokos: I Am Not Bold Enough, Pray For Me, O Thou Who Art Swift To Help Me​

O Virgin Lady and Mother of God, most blessed and graced by God, incline thine ear and hear my words, pronounced by my defiled and impure lips. Do not despise me, who am miserable; do not let me, thine unworthy servant, utterly perish; but use thy motherly prayers to heal my wretched sou, mercilessly shattered by my evil passions. The wicked enemy has shattered it with the sins of sensuality and trampled it into dust. Therefore, filled with all manner of shame, I dare not; I have not the courage to ask the Lover of mankind, my God, forgiveness for the multitude of my sins, and healing for my incurable sores. For I have defiled the temple of my body; through my indecent desires I have impregnated it with a multitude of impurities; and I have impaired all my senses with illicit acts. Thus I dare not reach up to heaven with my hands, defiled as they are with vile pursuits. Accordingly do I, who am miserable and a prodigal, submit myself to thine ineffable compassion, O immaculate Lady. For I have no other refuge but thee, who are mine only comfort and swift defender. I put my hope in thee: do not abandon me. Thy supplications are welcomed by thine only-begotten Son; He rejoices at thine intercession and is quick to grant thy prayers for us. Despise me not who am so miserable; may the indecency of my acts not curtail thy boundless mercy, O Mother of God. Accept this my worthless supplication and by thy motherly prayers make it acceptable to thy Son and God, that He might vouchsafe me the heavenly kingdom as I praise and bless the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

 

[TER]

47​

I Dare Not Do So Myself: Pray For Me, O Ye Saints​

Who will not lament for me, who have renounced the eternal kingdom for the sake of meager pleasures, ignoring the eternal fire? Having surrendered myself to the passions, I have destroyed the integrity of my soul and become like the unreasoning beasts.

At one time I found myself rich with gifts, but now I have come to love the poverty of the passions. I have become a stranger to the virtues and departed for the distand land of corruption. I am half dead; I have only a tiny remnant of life in me.

Because I am this way by mine own free choice, I cannot even raise mine eyes to the kindhearted Lord.

Lament, O blessed and righteous ones, for me who am caught in the embrace of passions and sin.

Lament, O ascetics, for me who am a glutton and voluptuary.

Lament, O merciful and condescending ones, for me who am hardhearted and cause much grief.

Lament, O ye who have attained meekness, for me who am irritable and wrathful.

Lament, O humble ones, for me who am pompous and arrogant.

Lament, O ye who have attained the nonacquisitiveness of the apostles, for me who, burdened by me love for possessions, cling to material things.

Lament, O ye who have loved lamentation and hated laughter, for me who have loved laughter and hated lamentation.

Lament, ye who contemplate the judgment that will come after death, for me who affirm that I remember the judgment but act to the contrary.

Pray, O saints of God, for my soul which is convulsed by all manner of passions. inasmuch as you are able, help me, O saints of God.

For I know that if you beseech God, the Lover of mankind, all will be granted you from the sea of His kindness. And, like our man-befriending God, so also when I, a sinner, beseech you, do not despise my supplication; for I have not the boldness to pray to Him myself because of the multitude of my sins.

Your role it is, O saints, to intercede for sinners; God's role it is to have mercy on those who despair.

O saints of God, pray to the King on behalf of the prisoner. Pray to the Pastor on behalf of the sheep. Pray to Life on behalf of the corpse, that He might lend His hand to aid me and strengthen my humble soul in its feebleness.

 

[TER]

48​

All Will Be Made Manifest At That Time. Hasten To Correct Yourself While There Is Time​

I fall down before the compassion of Thy kindness, O Master of all! Accept the prayer of a sinner; sweeten my soul which languishes in the bitterness of sin. Give drink to me who am thirsty from the fountain of life and guide me along its path.

As my Master, rescue Thy slave from captivity, that I might be freed from slavery to the dishonorable passions that have entangled my heart.

May Thy compassion forestall me before I am dragged down to hell together with those who work iniquities.

At that time all that I do now in darkness will be made manifest. Woe is me; what shame will embrace me when those who now think that I am irreproachable see me condemned, when they see then how I, who am miserable, have neglected spiritual deeds and labored for the passions.

Woe is me! O my soul, why is the sun of your mind clouded by the haze of passions? And why does this haze not disappear when rays of light shine forth? Why do you allow the passions to drag you down to the earth, and why have you preferred bonds over freedom?

The garment God wove for you have you made unfit for use and unworthy for the royal wedding. Willingly have you given yourself up to sin and enslaved yourself to the enemy of life.

What will you say to the Judge in that day of fear and trembling? Come to your senses, while there is still time. While you are still the mistress of your thoughts, while your mind is still functioning, while there is yet movement in your body, while it is still possible for grace to touch your heart, and while you can still shed cleansing tears - take a brave stand against the passions and, with God's help, valiantly smite Goliath.

Hurry, do not let a thief outrun you, do not let a harlot reach the entrance before you, do not let one of the violent who take the kingdom of God by force block the door.

Hurry, for when the contest is over it is no longer possible to enter competitions. When the market is closed it is not possible to seek goods; and when a transaction is completed, it is not possible to take part in it.

While there is time, hurry to engage in battle, that you might overcome your enemies and show yourself worthy to receive a crown.

 

[TER]

The Second Stasis​

49​

The Blessedness Of Forgiveness​

Blessed is he whom Thou givest understanding according to Thy love, O Lord, for Thou dost not turn away from those whom Thou lovest. Turn not away from me, either, O Lord, that the evil one might not destroy me.

According to Thy goodness have compassion on me who am infirm, and vouchsafe me forgiveness of my many sins; that, with all who have been pleasing to Thee, I might also glorigy Thy goodness.

Have compassion, O Lord, according to Thy goodness; and have mercy on all of us who have been rejected by Thy Truth because we failed to observe Thy word; though, if we had observed it, we would have received salvation.

I too have been spurned with all such men, even more so than they. Yet make me worthy according to Thy grace to receive forgiveness of sins and, on the strength of this forgiveness, hope for salvation.

With love have I daily contemplated Thy word. Make me worthy to exclaim together with the righteous ones this song of benediction: Praise to Him Who had mercy on me! Glory to Him Who has forgiven me!

The heights bless Thee, the depths magnify Thee; all things venerate Thee, for all was created by Thee. Everything sins praises to Thee, O kindhearted Lord!

 

[TER]

50​

Hope For Forgiveness​

Have mercy one me, O God, according to Thy great mercy, and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, blot out my transgression. For if Thou wilt have mercy on me and free me from the pitiful affliction of the passions - if only Thou wilt have mercy on me, then will I willingly obey Thy grace.

If Thou wilt do this according to the greatness of Thy goodness, then wilt Thou deliver me. If Thou wilt pour out upon me Thy goodness, I will be saved.

I am certain that this is possible for Thee. I know that Thou hast forgiven and dost forgive all who turn to Thee with all their strength.

I confess that I have enjoyed the benefits of Thy grace many times already; but each time I have rejected Thy grace and sinned as no other has sinned.

But Thou, Who hast resurrected the dead, raise also me who am deadened by sin. Thou Who hast healed the blind, enlighten the clouded eyes of my heart. Thou Who hast delivered Adam from the mouth of the serpent, pull me out of the mire of mine iniquities; for I too belong among Thy sheep, though I have by own free choice become food for lions.

Sins have made of me a dog; but, healed by Thy grace, I will become Thy son. I was thrown out like a corpse, but if Thou so desirest I will be brought to life.

I know that I have sinned consciously, but I have Thy saints to pray for me. I know that I exceed every measure with my sins, but Thy goodness is unsurpassable.

Thou Who hast preferred the publican, prefer also me, who recognize that I have done many more vile deeds than he. Thou, O Lord, hadst mercy on Zacchaeus who was unworthy. Likewise have mercy on me who am also unworthy.

Paul was once a wolf, and chased the sheep of Thy flock; but according to Thy grace he became a pastor who diligently cared for the sheep.

I know that he sinned in ignorance, and that he was vouchsafed forgiveness of his sins and much grace because of his ignorance. But Thou, O Lord, condemn my sin committed in knowledge, and have mercy on me according to Thine exceedingly abundant grace.

 

[TER]

The Third Stasis​

51​

Life's Lessons: Beatitudes​

Blessed is he who has illumined the eyes of his heart, and always sees the Lord in himself as in a mirror. Such a man will be relieved of passions and evil thoughts.

Blessed is he who loves good and beautiful speech but hates words that are shameful and corrupting, for he will not be taken captive by the evil one.

Blessed is he who instructs his neighbor in the fear of God and does not seduce his soul, for he is ever wary of the great Pastor's iron staff.

Blessed is he who is obedient to his neighbor in accordance with God's will and gratefully suffers offense, for such a man will be crowned as a confessor of the Lord.

Blessed is he who loves abstinence in accordance with God's will and is not subject to condemnation as a corrupt sensualist on account of his belly, for such a man will be magnified in the Lord.

Blessed is he who does not intoxicate himself with wine, but is ever glad in remembrance of the Lord, in Whom all the saints rejoice unceasingly.

Blessed is he who manages his possessions in accordance with God's will, and does not lay himself open to condemnation from the Savior as a miser lacking compassion for his neighbor.

Blessed is he who is vigilant in prayer, reading and good works; he will be enlightened and will not fall asleep unto death.

Blessed is he who has become a marvelous spiritual net and caught many for the good Master; greatly will he be praised in the Lord.

Blessed is he who has become a marvelous example for his neighbor and has not injured the conscience of his fellow servants with indecent acts; he will be blessed in the Lord.

 

[TER]

52​

A Complaint Lodged Against The Enemy A Prayer For Deliverance From Him And Compassion At The Judgment, That We May Be Redeemed​

O Judge, Whose judgment is righteous and to Whom is known all that is concealed: condemn me not at Thy righteous judgment, when all secrets will be exposed!

With tears that she brought to Thee, the harlot destroyed the record of her transgression s. Behold, I too bring Thee a gift of tears. Accept them from me, O Lord, as Thou didst accept them from her.

The evil one has deceived me with his caresses and has taken my mind captive with his seductions. Drive him away from me, who am miserable, O our Lord; snatch me from his hands, that he might not tear me to shreds.

Judge me, O Lord, and settle my dispute with the merciless enemy. He has made me a target for his arrows. According to Thy compassion, may those arrows gore him instead.

Be my helper, O Lord, for I am miserable and have no other helper. And do not let the enemy see me vanquished and mock me, as he mocked our foremother.

Woe is me if all my secrets are revealed and subjected to scrutiny then, when no justification will be considered. My spirit shudders, O Lord, for I hear that fire will consume the lawless, and I am straw and hay. And if Thou O Lord wilt regard my sins, I shall perish.

May Thy goodness, O Lord, that once lifted Thee onto the cross for the redemption of our race, forestall me who am miserable, that I might be vouchsafed forgiveness of my sins.

Thou, O Jesus, hast redeemed all with Thy blood; and by Thy death hast Thou bound the powerful adversary. Release me from the fetters of the evil one; break his shackles and bonds.

Rebuke him so that he will withdraw from me, who am miserable, that his will might not be realized in me. Bring my will into accord with Thine, O Lord, Who blottest out my sins by Thy loving-kindness.

Do not leave me in the hands of the malefactor, and give him no authority over me; for Thou hast prepared Thy flesh and blood as food for me, and Thy cross in imprinted on my brow.

Strengthen me, O Lord, for I am infirm. Blot out my transgressions, for greatly have I sinned. Make chaste my senses, that they might submissively and unwaveringly follow the royal path.

May Thy light shine in my thoughts; may they be illumined by Thy rays, and may Thy magnificent radiance gladden them, for Thou are the sun that irradiates all.

Cleanse our stains with Thy hyssop, wash our sores with Thy blood, sanctify the secret workings of our thoughts with Thy body.

Praise be to Thee, Who has redeemed the human race which had perished, lifted it upon Thy shoulders and carried it into the house of Thy Father.

 

[TER]

53​

Lament Over The Scarcity Of Saints​

My heart is pained, my soul agonizes and my inner parts are torn! Where am I to find the tears, where am I to find the contrition and the sighs to rightly mourn our orphaned state and the paucity of sanctity among us?

I see, O Master, that Thou takest Thy saints, like choice gold, from the vain world to the resting-place of life.

Like a farmer who sees his fruits well ripened and prudently hastens to gather them that they might not be the least bit spoiled, so dost Thou also, O Savior, gather Thy chosen ones who have labored righteously.

Yet we, who are slothful and weak-willed, remain hardened, and our fruits never ripen; for we have not the resolve to labor without sparing ourselves, in order to ripen in good works and rightly be fathered into the storehouse of life.

Say: woe is me, alas, O soul, and weep; for thou hast been left an orphan so young by the blameless fathers and righteous ascetics. Where are our fathers? Where are the saints? Where are the vigilant? Where are the sober? Where are the humble? Where are the meek? Where are those who vow silence? Where are the abstinent? Where are those who with a contrite heart stood before the Lord in perfect prayer, like angels of God? They have left here to join our holy God with their lamps brightly burning.

Woe is us! What times are these in which we live? Into what sea of evil have we sailed? Our fathers have entered the harbor of life, that they might not see the sorrows and seductions that overcome us because of our sins. They are crowned, yet we slumber; we sleep and indulge in selfish pleasures.

O Lord, have pity on us! Make sober our thoughts which whirl about in vain. Grant us contrition and tears, that they might shed some light on the blindness of our hearts, and we might see that way in which our fathers walked when they followed Thee. Grant us the desire and the strength to follow in this same way, so that we too with them might receive the lot of those who are saved, to the glory of Thy name.

 

[TER]

54​

The Days Are Passing; Do Not Put Off Repentance​

Love prompts me to speak to God, but my unworthiness forces me to be silent. Tortuous spiritual afflictions compel me to talk, but sins force me to keep quiet. My soul languishes and my eyes long for tears.

You have sinned, O soul; repent. For our days pass by like a shadow. We will travel through terrible and frightening places. Do not put off turning to the Lord day after day. Become at last contrite, O my soul.

Become contrite at the thought of all the good things that you have received from the Lord, but not kept. Become contrite at the thought of what you have done, and how patient God has been with you. Become contrite, that at Christ's terrible judgment you might not be sent to outer darkness.

Woe is me, a sinner! For because of my weakness I have become defiled, and ever do I defile the purity of my heart. Apathy and slothfulness have shamed the boldness of my heart. Evil desire commands me, like a master commands his slave, and I, like a child, immediately obey with fear. It leads me into sin and this gladdens me.

Woe is me, O Lord! They grace draws me toward life, but I instead prefer death. Thou takest pains that I might become as honorable as the angels; but I, in my depravity, debase myself. My sins have multiplied, O Lord, and ceaselessly do they multiply and there is no limit to their multitude.

And who will mourn for me or pray for me? Do Thou, O my Savior, Thyself condescend to have mercy on me through Thy grace and regard me who despair with compassion! For how will I pray to Thee, O Master, when my mouth is filled with vile words? Or how will I sing praises to Thee, when my conscience is defiled? Or how will I love Thee, when I am filled with passions? Or how will truth dwell in me, when I have cursed myself with lies? Or how will I call upon Thee, when I have not kept Thy commandments?

 

[TER]

The Eighth Kathisma ​

+++​

The First Stasis​

55​

How To Scrutinize And Reproach Yourself​

After having gained knowledge of the truth, I have become a brawler and an offender. I argue over trifles; I have become envious of and callous toward my neighbor, merciless toward beggars, wrathful, argumentative, obstinate, slothful, irritable. I harbor vile thoughts, I love fancy clothing. And to this day I have many corrupt thoughts and fits of selfishness, gluttony, sensuality, vainglory, arrogance, lust, gossiping, breaking of fasts, despondency, rivalry, and indignation.

I am worthless, but think much of myself. I lie constantly, but get angry with liars. I defile the temple of my body with wanton thoughts, but sternly judge the wanton. I condemn those who fall, but myself fall constantly. I condemn slanderers and thieves, but am myself both a thief and a slanderer. I walk with a bright countenance, although I am altogether impure.

In churches and at banquets I always want to take the place of honor. I see hermits and act dignified; I see monks and I become pompous. I strive to appear pleasing to women, dignified to strangers, intelligent and reasonable to my neighbors, superior to intellectuals. With the righteous I act as if I possess vast wisdom; the unintelligent I disdain as illiterates.

If I am offended, I take revenge. If I am honored, I shun those who honor me. If someone demands of me what is rightfully his, I start a suit. And those who tell me the truth I consider enemies. When my error is exposed, I get angry, but I am not so dissatisfied when people flatter me.

I do not want to honor those who are worthy but I myself, who am unworthy, demand honor. I do not want to tire myself with work, but if someone fails to serve me I get angry with him. I do not want to walk among laborers, but if someone fails to help me in my work I slander him.

I arrogantly deny my brother when he is in need, but when I have need of something I turn to him. I hate those who are ill, but when I myself am ill I wish that everyone would love me. I do not want to know those who are higher than I, and I scorn those who are lower.

If I abstain from indulging my foolish desires, I praise myself vaingloriously. If I succeed in vigilance, I fall into the snares of conceit and contradiction. If I refrain from eating, I drown in pride and arrogance. If I am wakeful in prayer, I am vanquished by irritability and wrath. If I see virtue in someone, I studiously ignore him.

I have scorned worldly pleasures, but do not abandon my vain desire for them. If I see a woman, I go into raptures. To all appearances I am wise in humility, but in my soul I am haughty. I seem not to be acquisitive, but in reality I suffer from a mania for possessions. And what good is it to dwell on such things? I appear to have forsaken the world, but in fact I still think about worldly things all the time.

During services I always occupy myself with conversations, wandering thoughts, and vain recollections. During meals I indulge in idle chatter. I yearn for gifts I participate in the sinful falls of others and engage in ruinous rivalry.

Such is my life! With what vileness do I obstruct my own salvation! And my arrogance, my vainglory does not permit me to think about my sores that I might cure myself. Behold my virtuous feats! See how vast are the regiments of sins which the enemy sends to campaign against me! Yet in the face of all this, I who am wretched endeavor to boast of sanctity. I live in sin, but want others to honor me as a righteous man.

I all this I have but one thing to say in my defense: the devil has ensnared me. But this did not suffice to absolve Adam of his sin. Cain was of course also prompted by the devil, but he did not escape condemnation either. What shall I do if the Lord comes to me? I have no means to justify my negligence.

I fear that I shall be numbered among those whom Paul called vessels of wrath, who will share the devil's fate and whom God, because of their contempt for Him, has committed to the passions of degradation. Thus there is the danger that I will be sentenced to the same fate.

If Thou wouldst save me, who am unworthy, O Merciful Lord, vouchsafe me, a sinner, repentance; enliven my soul deadened by sins, O Giver of Life. Drive out the stony hardness that is in my miserable heart and grant me a fountain of contrition, O Thou Who didst pour forth life unto us from Thy life-creating rib.

 

[TER]

56​

The Devil Has Success With The Indifferent, But He Prepares Crowns For The Prudent​

The evil devil, after he was decisively vanquished by the holy saints and ascetics restrained by God's grace, sat down and railed against himself, weeping and saying: woe is me who am miserable! To what have I been subjected? How did it happen that I lost the struggle and ceded victory over myself? But it is I who have become the author of my own shame, for I started this lengthy battle with them.

After being defeated at the first two battles I should have retreated immediately, seeing that Christ is with them. But since I pursued victory over them, I only increased their reward, to my own disgrace.

I should have realized my error before, when I suffered at Christ's hands, when He overthrew all my power. For I did all I could to ensure His crucifixion, but it was His very death that conquered me.

I have suffered the very same at the hands of the martyrs. I have raised up kings and prepared torments that the martyrs might see these things and become terrified and renounce Christ. Not only have they not been terrified by various forms of torture, but they have confessed Christ right up until their death.

And now again, when I wanted to defeat these strugglers in warfare, I had to retreat defeated and with great shame. I boasted of my clever schemes, but they are all torn to shreds like a spider's web. I wanted to overpower them with various passions, but they have made me turn back and flee by the power of the Cross. And now at last I do not know what to do.

I will leave these courageous struggles and go to my friends who have chosen a carefree life. Among them I will not have to labor, nor will I need to use any deception.

I can take up bonds and tie them up. And after I tie them with the bonds of which they are so fond, I will have them under my control like salves who always do my bidding voluntarily.

Thus shall they fling themselves into the abyss, and I will rejoice at their ruin and keep them there, that I might have company in the inextinguishable fire.

In like manner do we, who are foolish, give authority over ourselves to the enemy by cutting ourselves off from God through our rejection of His commandments. Having found us thus stripped of grace, he freely takes possession of us, and unopposed he leads us along his path - the path of ruin.

O Lord! Grant that we might escape from the evil one, having torn to shreds the bonds with which he has tied us up according to our own choosing. Lay upon us Thy good and easy yoke and send us the strength to carry it, that, traveling along good path of Thy commandments, we might reach the city which Thou hast prepared for them that love Thee.

 

[TER]

57​

Life's Lessons​

If you have not yet become mightily inflamed with the Holy Spirit, avoid listening to the thoughts of others, that what you hear might not arouse passions not yet dead and pervert your soul.

If you are an ardent reader, seek not brilliant and erudite texts; otherwise the demon of haughtiness will strike your heart. But like a wise bee that gathers honey from flowers, through your reading obtain also healing for your soul.

Blessed is he who preaches virtue by means of his deeds. But if you say something that pertains to virtue, but do the opposite, this will not save you.

When you see people dissipated in acts of unclean love, look not at them in amazement, that you might not be seduced by rosy skin which will soon turn to dust. Rather sigh to yourself and cry out: Remember, O Lord, that we are dust - and God's grace will prevent you from becoming a prisoner of the Evil One.

Pray diligently to the Lord, that He might grant you the spirit of perfect chastity, that even as you dream at night you might evade the wiles of the Evil One as a person runs when he sees a wild beast chasing after him; or as a man whose pursuer carries a burning torch runs from room to room, that the fire might not burn him.,

Just as one cannot buy education or artistic skills for any price without working at it, so one cannot attain the habit of exercising the virtues without zeal and diligence.

Just as your head takes priority over all other members of your body, and if a stone or sword is aimed at you, you raise other members of your body to deflect the blow from your head, knowing that you cannot live in this life without your head - so may you give priority over all things to faith in the Holy Trinity Which is One in essence, for without this faith no one can live the true life.

With all your heart hope on the Lord, and you will easily evade the wiles of the wicked one, for the Lord dose not forsake those who work for Him.

 

[Reason]

lol...