I just had a dream in which I was at a party/ball that was embedded with relatives that I've always felt uncomfortable around growing up. It was one of those ugly dreams where you see people doing things to impress the crowd, all in the name of alcohol and attention.
I guess the reason for my dream was I recently went to a fundraiser that was comprised of mostly rich people (I'm not one, yet), coupled with my problems growing up resisting this whole small talk practice among my family and elsewhere.
So, I remembered reading this thread two days ago and seeing posts about small talk. I was going to come on here and rant/ask questions and then I was stunned by pinkmandy's Indigo info.
Most of the posts have been like reading my life history, I'm 30. It's amazing how frustrating it can be to be gifted, skilled or intellectual. I've had issues with my family for most of my life, especially with an authoritative DAD and over-the-top small talk based family gatherings.
I've also had issues at many of my places of work. I'm continually butting heads with the powers that be at companies I've worked for. This has been mostly not because of me hindering the company in anyway, but rather "helping the company too much", which in turn creates blowback from less inept peers/superiors.
The one job that I was content with, I was only at for 2 years and that was due to downsizing. One reason I believe that I was happy there was one of my co-workers was very much like me. We came from different backgrounds, but we were very much the same.
Historically, I've at times been labeled as shy, weird, wants to be left alone, etc. Whenever I encounter someone that directly insults my beliefs (i.e. Ron Paul), I feel a rage swell inside that isn't due to insecurity, but rather too much security/confidence.
In fact, most people that think I'm shy are stunned whenever I open up. Interestingly they don't realize the reason for opening up and that it's usually because they or myself have touched on an issue that I feel is of importance or interesting. Which amazingly enough, when people seem to be shocked or impressed that I've opened up, it only builds more resentment due to the fact that they continue to not get my disposition.
Thanks to these new ideas, maybe I will have less anger and resentment to people who see me as weird, anti-social, etc. The funny thing is I've checked-off many of the items in my life that people seem to judge someone as normal (degree, good paying job, house, wife, etc.), but somehow, it doesn't seem to have much impact on people's misunderstandings.
One more piece of info. I've always either through intent or not, always been very selective of my close friends. Not to say that I've turned people away, just that I tend to not be very interested in many people enough to build a strong friendship with. Most of my close friends today all share common interests as me. Yet, my brother, who is very establishment oriented, tends to have tons of friends, yet most are not close.
Thanks again pinkmandy!