Well, I'm not surprised to see that this thread has gone in the direction it's gone.
I'm not really sure how well-received this will be here, but I'll try to actually answer the OP's question.
1.) Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, and some protestant Christians believe that the Sacraments are the ways that we humans participate most fully in the divine Grace of Christ (Saint John Chrysostom was among the first to refer to the Sacraments as "Mysteries," which I think is a more apt term).
The teaching of the Catholic Church is that the holy mysteries/sacraments help us in our process of what the Fathers called
Theosis. Catholic and Protestant Christians today refer to theosis as
Sanctification. Saint Peter, in his second Epistle, says that we have become "partakers of the Divine Nature."
2.) In the Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Catholic churches, infants receive three of the seven sacraments shortly after birth: baptism, confirmation, and the Eucharist,
with their parents' pledge to instruct them in the faith. This was also the Roman Catholic practice until an idea arose that children should attain the use of their rational faculties before receiving first communion and confirmation.
Priests and religious education directors with good intentions want to be sure that children know that the Church is not a Sacramental McDonald's. In an era where many parents cannot even name the Ten Commandments, I think that there
is a cause for concern. However:
3.) Your child does
not have to go through "bs" in order to be able to receive the Sacraments. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says thus: "
At what age children are to receive the Holy Mysteries no one can better judge than their father and the priest who is their confessor. For it is their duty to ascertain by questioning the children whether they have any understanding of this admirable Sacrament and if they have any desire for it." If a child is ready, he is ready. You have the canonical right and indeed the obligation to insist that your children receive the sacraments when they are ready. If the pastor at your parish insists that your children go through a pathetic religious education program, you actually do have the right to go to another priest. It is not being sneaky or snarky. Many parents I know have done this, and it is certainly what I plan to do when I have children.
4.) I recommend that you take your children to a parish run by the FSSP or the ICKSP. Both are traditional groups who are highly educated and who are deeply concerned about being authentically Catholic. I would
not recommend the SSPX because of their distance from the authority of the Pope and allegations of mind control/abuse of younger members. A priest I know who left the SSPX was nearly assassinated.
Another option is to go to an Eastern Catholic parish in your area. They are in communion with the Pope and will most certainly give your children the sacraments if your children are ready. You will satisfy your Sunday Obligation by going to their Masses. However, they use the ancient liturgies of Saint James, Saint Basil, and Saint John Chrysostom. These will at first appear to be very different from the Roman Mass, but the same elements are there.
