What Do Women Want?

[smartguy911]

Fullerton, has employed surveys of thousands of subjects to demonstrate over the past few years that while men with high sex drives report an even more polarized pattern of attraction than most males (to women for heterosexuals and to men for homosexuals), in women the opposite is generally true: the higher the drive, the greater the attraction to both sexes, though this may not be so for lesbians.

Experiment carried out one of the most interesting experiments in female sexuality: by measuring heart rate, perspiration, pupil dilation and pain threshold, they proved that some rare women can think themselves to climax.

“In 1997, the actress Anne Heche began a widely publicized romantic relationship with the openly lesbian comedian Ellen DeGeneres after having had no prior same-sex attractions or relationships. The relationship with DeGeneres ended after two years, and Heche went on to marry a man.” So begins Diamond’s book, “Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire,” published by Harvard University Press last winter. She continues: “Julie Cypher left a heterosexual marriage for the musician Melissa Etheridge in 1988. After 12 years together, the pair separated and Cypher — like Heche — has returned to heterosexual relationships.” She catalogs the shifting sexual directions of several other somewhat notable women, then asks, “What’s going on?” Among her answers, based partly on her own research and on her analysis of animal mating and women’s sexuality, is that female desire may be dictated — even more than popular perception would have it — by intimacy, by emotional connection.

Diamond argues that for her participants, and quite possibly for women on the whole, desire is malleable, that it cannot be captured by asking women to categorize their attractions at any single point, that to do so is to apply a male paradigm of more fixed sexual orientation.

Diamond doesn’t claim that women are without innate sexual orientations. But she sees significance in the fact that many of her subjects agreed with the statement “I’m the kind of person who becomes physically attracted to the person rather than their gender.”

In comparison with men, women’s erotic fantasies center less on giving pleasure and more on getting it. “When it comes to desire,” she added, “women may be far less relational than men.”

women have a lower sex drive than men, and second, research suggesting that within long-term relationships, women are more likely than men to lose interest in sex

According to an analysis of relevant studies published last year in The Journal of Sex Research, an analysis that defines rape as involving “the use of physical force, threat of force, or incapacitation through, for example, sleep or intoxication, to coerce a woman into sexual activity against her will,” between one-third and more than one-half of women have entertained such fantasies, often during intercourse, with at least 1 in 10 women fantasizing about sexual assault at least once per month in a pleasurable way.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?ex=1390453200&en=3d4cf2139c62cff7&ei=5124

 

[pinkmandy]

Diamond argues that for her participants, and quite possibly for women on the whole, desire is malleable, that it cannot be captured by asking women to categorize their attractions at any single point, that to do so is to apply a male paradigm of more fixed sexual orientation.

Diamond doesn’t claim that women are without innate sexual orientations. But she sees significance in the fact that many of her subjects agreed with the statement “I’m the kind of person who becomes physically attracted to the person rather than their gender.”

I do think that for most women she has a point that desire is malleable. I've always attributed that to moods and stress factors, though, as for women I know sex is as psychological as it is physical. That's why, guys, the flowers, bubble baths, candles...all that is important. Not always necessary by any means but will definitely help your cause when your wife/gf is stressed or cranky.

I think she's stretching her conclusions with the gender bit- it's all how you phrase a question, especially during times when gay rights are a hot topic. I personally don't know any women like Anne Heche.

 

[M House]

"According to an analysis of relevant studies published last year in The Journal of Sex Research, an analysis that defines rape as involving “the use of physical force, threat of force, or incapacitation through, for example, sleep or intoxication, to coerce a woman into sexual activity against her will,” between one-third and more than one-half of women have entertained such fantasies, often during intercourse, with at least 1 in 10 women fantasizing about sexual assault at least once per month in a pleasurable way."

Wow they admit to the that? Well whatever next time I get horny I'm just gonna go out and "coerce a woman into sexual activity against her will" I mean odds are she'll like it right?

 

[Cowlesy]

I do think that for most women she has a point that desire is malleable. I've always attributed that to moods and stress factors, though, as for women I know sex is as psychological as it is physical. That's why, guys, the flowers, bubble baths, candles...all that is important. Not always necessary by any means but will definitely help your cause when your wife/gf is stressed or cranky.

I think she's stretching her conclusions with the gender bit- it's all how you phrase a question, especially during times when gay rights are a hot topic. I personally don't know any women like Anne Heche.

Anne Heche is a huge bitch. She was in a Northwest Airlines members-only lounge when I was there, and she had some weird boyfriend and a yapping little dog, and they were screaming at the attendant to keep the place open (it was supposed to close).

I wanted to punch both of them out.

///sorry for the off-topic rant.

 

[Volitzer]

Yeah nothing like a cunt to put back women's rights 100 or so years.

 

[SWATH]

"According to an analysis of relevant studies published last year in The Journal of Sex Research, an analysis that defines rape as involving “the use of physical force, threat of force, or incapacitation through, for example, sleep or intoxication, to coerce a woman into sexual activity against her will,” between one-third and more than one-half of women have entertained such fantasies, often during intercourse, with at least 1 in 10 women fantasizing about sexual assault at least once per month in a pleasurable way."

Wow they admit to the that? Well whatever next time I get horny I'm just gonna go out and "coerce a woman into sexual activity against her will" I mean odds are she'll like it right?

I've wondered about this ever since a girl I knew confessed this to her friend, who in turn told me. Her fantasy was being raped by a burglar in the middle of the night.

Needless to say I was like WTF that chick is whack. However she seemed perfectly normal in all other respects.

 

[M House]

So, seriously WTF are we supposed to make out of this then. It's okay to break in and rape them in the night?

 

[pinkmandy]

So, seriously WTF are we supposed to make out of this then. It's okay to break in and rape them in the night?

Better make sure it's one of the 1 in 10. The other 9 of us, if we have a gun handy, might blow your balls off.

 

[M House]

"between one-third and more than one-half of women have entertained such fantasies"

I'd hate to gamble with my testicles, but that still sounds better than alot of stupid things I could do.

 

[M House]

Anyway, do your odds of survival increase if you cuddle afterwards? I mean, if I could I'd atleast want to get a friend outta the risky encounter and maybe a phone number. Doesn't sound like it's a good long term approach to dating and all.

 

[pinkmandy]

"between one-third and more than one-half of women have entertained such fantasies"

I'd hate to gamble with my testicles, but that still sounds better than alot of stupid things I could do.

Ah...I misread. 1 in 10 have this fantasy once/month. Oops.

Since I can't stomach reading all 8 pages of that article, do you happen to know how many women she was surveying? She could be the Frank Luntz of sexology.

And as an aside, would you want every single thing you've ever fantasized about at some point to actually happen? Hmmm...

 

[M House]

A woman actually wanting to have sex with me is never a bad thing. However, most men I know don't fantasize about being raped or even raping someone-else.

 

[pinkmandy]

A woman actually wanting to have sex with me is never a bad thing. However, most men I know don't fantasize about being raped or even raping someone-else.

Lol. I wouldn't know.

I think all this study boils down to is that women want men to step up. Take charge. It's probably out of frustration for women w/this fantasy- maybe they don't really want to work, maybe they want men to be the provider while they raise the kids...who knows? Sexually is just the way it comes out of their subconscious maybe? I don't think it means they really want to be raped- well, maybe it does for some but I think you'd still probably end up in jail.

 

[M House]

Whatever, my motivation to deal with this kinda sexual BS is too low, too care. I mean why wouldn't I want a woman to make all my sexual fantasies come true? That'd be kinda awesome.

 

[pinkmandy]

Whatever, my motivation to deal with this kinda sexual BS is too low, too care. I mean why wouldn't I want a woman to make all my sexual fantasies come true? That'd be kinda awesome.

I agree. It's sexual BS. Hang in there, ignore all the crap, and you'll find a woman who is a good match...I doubt you'll do that by climbing in a bedroom window with a knife, though.

 

[M House]

Never was one of my fantasies. Hope you haven't been dreaming of any dudes with knives lately.

 

[pinkmandy]

Never was one of my fantasies. Hope you haven't been dreaming of any dudes with knives lately.

Nah. The dog would bark and wake up my husband who'd quickly grab and use his legally owned firearm.

 

[M House]

Lol. I wouldn't know.

I think all this study boils down to is that women want men to step up. Take charge. It's probably out of frustration for women w/this fantasy- maybe they don't really want to work, maybe they want men to be the provider while they raise the kids...who knows? Sexually is just the way it comes out of their subconscious maybe? I don't think it means they really want to be raped- well, maybe it does for some but I think you'd still probably end up in jail.

Okay, this is something I've noticed complained about before. Um, what do you really want? Do you mean be more sexually aggressive? I mean I'd be willing to throw myself at women aggressively all day long if they responded positively. Also, in what way? I mean as a male, seems we're expected to initiate everything anyway.

 

[pinkmandy]

Okay, this is something I've noticed complained about before. Um, what do you really want? Do you mean be more sexually aggressive? I mean I'd be willing to throw myself at women aggressively all day long if they responded positively. Also, in what way? I mean as a male, seems we're expected to initiate everything anyway.

Not sexually at all. And I'm just guessing cause I don't fit the "want to be raped" women in the survey. And maybe I don't fit because of my life? My husband is the provider. I raise our kids, enjoy cooking, and do most of the homeschooling. I trust him to take care of our family. It's a good relationship. Then look at how many women work and don't want to? I know many do, but do they all? And maybe step up wasn't a good phrase- I know that for many families both parents do have to work. So maybe women are just feeling the backlash of the feminist movement?

And to tell the truth, I like my manly man. I like watching him cut firewood, fix things that break, pick up heavy stuff that I can't, work on the car, hold doors for me...all that stereotypical stuff is a turn on. I'd bet a lot of women like that as well but don't have it. I'm sure if you looked at studies you'd also find that women fantasize about men who "save the day" like firemen...the whole damsel in distress, save the princess thing we were taught as little girls and fantasized about then but were told to unlearn as we got older. Some serious mixed messages for gals so I imagine it confuses the hell out of men.

 

[M House]

Okay, well um......yeah. Still, don't get it. Whatever, atleast in my case the doors gonna be yours. There's a reason women don't find "manly" men anymore, no effort. Men haven't changed much. It's not like the fairy tales and all. They still are willing to pretty much give into, whatever it is you want from them.