TSA Agent: "I'm not gay"

[Matt Collins]

So in an effort to demean and demoralize the TSA agents who feel me up the conversation this morning on the way to CPAC went as follows:


ME: So do you enjoy your job?

HIM: Yeah I actually do believe it or not

ME: Well are you gay?

HIM: No I've got a wife and kids

ME: Well you just said you liked your job. You like feeling guys up all day?

HIM: This isn't my favorite part but I enjoy the rest

ME: Well you could've fooled me. I would've thought a guy who enjoyed touching other guys crotches all day was definitely gay

(about this time he finishes)

HIM: Ok you are clear, have a nice day

ME: Too late for that thanks to you



Anyway, it's interesting how uncomfortable these people become when you begin to question their sexuality. In fact I think he went a lot quicker than normal because I was making him very uneasy. What was sad was that I was there for about 15 minutes and the ONLY guy who opted out of the porno scanners. And I had a whole lot of other things lined up for this guy but he finished too soon. Well, there is always next time.


Until we can get this crap outlawed, I think the only thing to do for those that fly (short of civil disobedience) is to use psychological warfare against those who are perpetuating these violations of individual rights. If more people treat them like lowlifes, they might rethink their chosen profession. Hopefully it'll wear on their psyche.

 

[Sola_Fide]

Good strategy Collins.

The only thing better would be to start making noises and grunts as he feels your crotch.

Then when he is done and says "Thank you", you can smile coyly back at him and say, "No, thank you sailor".

 

[Joshua Parrish]

..."Was it as good for you as it was for me?"....

 

[Jeremy]

Kinda sounds like you were being rude to him.

 

[brandon]

Kinda sounds like you were being rude to him.

It does. But it also sounds like this guy was sexually assaulting :collins: so I think it was probably warranted.

 

[speciallyblend]

Kinda sounds like you were being rude to him.

they get paid for us to be rude but i like the grunting noises and thank you sailor line. The tsa agent better hope i am in a decent mood by the time gate rape comes. I have to deal with rude people everyday at my front desk. I say suck it up tsa agents!!

 

[Sola_Fide]

they get paid for us to be rude but i like the grunting noises and thank you sailor line. The tsa agent better hope i am in a decent mood by the time gate rape comes. I have to deal with rude people everyday at my front desk. I say suck it up tsa agents!!

"Gate rape" is a wonderful term.

 

[Krugerrand]

Matt, what was your follow up line had he answered, "Yes, I am."

 

[speciallyblend]

"Gate rape" is a wonderful term.

i will probably just let them grope me with nothing said. I want to vote Ron Paul 2012 not argue at the denver airport and possibly be detained by an employee that makes less then a taco bell employee!!!

 

[heavenlyboy34]

lolz...I think this is the funniest thing the :collins: has ever done.

 

[ivflight]

I kinda figured if I were about to get patted down that I would put on a serious face and whisper to the guy that the penile discharge from my gonorrhea is causing my pubic lice to run every which way and he may want to avoid that whole mess or at least put on a mask and some of those gloves that go up to your elbows.

 

[Danke]

He probably is gay.

 

[jmdrake]

Matt, which airport was this? Nashville? D.C.? Other?

 

[Pericles]

ME: So do you enjoy your job?

HIM: Yeah I actually do believe it or not

ME: Well are you gay?

HIM: No I've got a wife and kids

ME: You could have fooled me ............

 

[MelissaWV]

Matt, what was your follow up line had he answered, "Yes, I am."

If you reread, he said that it's good to treat TSA agents like they're low-lifes (as part of this thread). The logical conclusion is that gays are low-lifes. I am guessing he would have continued to be rude, perhaps going down another path, or perhaps satisfied with the evil homosexual low-life having admitted their sin

Or maybe Matt would have yelled "OMG YOU GUYS THIS DUDE TOUCHING EVERYONE'S JUNK IS GAY!!!" further implying that homosexuality somehow makes it worse, and is something to be so shocked and embarrassed about.

 

[pcosmar]

Kinda sounds like you were being rude to him.

Not nearly as rude as I would be,,but I avoid that shit like the plague.

 

[Pericles]

I'd suggest the real goal is to increase the cost (even if only emotionally) of performing a job that fundamentally violates the tenets of our society.

I've met a couple of guys who were members of the Leibstandarte Adolf Hitler (1st SS Panzer Division) and they were very personable and I liked them. Still does not pardon war crimes.

The same principle has to be employed among those government agents who by the very nature of their duties, violate the Constitution of the United States. There is nothing honorable about violating the rights of your fellow citizens, and they need to know that we know that.

 

[jake]

I'd suggest the real goal is to increase the cost (even if only emotionally) of performing a job that fundamentally violates the tenets of our society.

I've met a couple of guys who were members of the Leibstandarte Adolf Hitler (1st SS Panzer Division) and they were very personable and I liked them. Still does not pardon war crimes.

The same principle has to be employed among those government agents who by the very nature of their duties, violate the Constitution of the United States. There is nothing honorable about violating the rights of your fellow citizens, and they need to know that we know that.

well put; passing out flyers/phamplets about the violation of rights could start a major, major trend here

 

[t0rnado]

I'd suggest the real goal is to increase the cost (even if only emotionally) of performing a job that fundamentally violates the tenets of our society.

I've met a couple of guys who were members of the Leibstandarte Adolf Hitler (1st SS Panzer Division) and they were very personable and I liked them. Still does not pardon war crimes.

The same principle has to be employed among those government agents who by the very nature of their duties, violate the Constitution of the United States. There is nothing honorable about violating the rights of your fellow citizens, and they need to know that we know that.

We should just start calling them child molesters.

 

[Matt Collins]

Matt, which airport was this? Nashville? D.C.? Other?

Nashville.

I'd suggest the real goal is to increase the cost (even if only emotionally) of performing a job that fundamentally violates the tenets of our society.

The same principle has to be employed among those government agents who by the very nature of their duties, violate the Constitution of the United States. There is nothing honorable about violating the rights of your fellow citizens, and they need to know that we know that.

Exactly.