"Gradualism in theory is perpetuity in practice." - Murray Rothbard.
(Though I agree that focusing on most of those issues that have been dismissed as "conspiracy theories" is a waste of time)
Virginia is home to an organization called VCDL - the Virginia Citizens Defense League, which is our state pro-gun activist group.
Virginia is also a pretty permissive state when it comes to firearms freedoms. This is VCDL's philosophy:
VCDL believes that to win the fight to restore our Rights, we have to 1) go on the offensive and 2) make use of the best lobbyist – the voter.
VCDL rejects the approach of focusing on a defensive battle until “the time is right”. Even if you win 95% of the defensive battles, you lose 5%. Over time, this defensive war of attrition slowly whittles away our Rights until we have none.
The time isn’t going to magically become right to introduce pro-gun legislation. Instead, WE have to make the time right. And we do that by constantly pushing a pro-gun agenda – getting pro-gun legislation before the General Assembly, getting voters to contact their legislators, and hounding any locality that violates the law.
Even if we win only 5% of our pro-gun agenda each year, we are advancing our rights each and every year, instead of losing them bit-by-bit.
So there's a real-life example of why your church friend is
wrong.
All bills are generally acts of negotiation. You don't start a negotiation by saying "Ok, here's the absolute minimum I can tolerate leaving this negotiation with".
If you're negotiating with four people for a cake, you start by saying "I can't possibly leave this negotiation without seven-eighths of this cake, MINIMUM. By all rights, I should be walking away with the whole frickin' thing, but I recognize there are other people here so the rest of you can fight over that last slice."
And then you get whittled down. To half of it.
If you come out saying "Well, everyone here has a right to this cake and so we should divide it up into quarters", guess what? You're walking away with jack shit.
People who vote for Romney really don't like cake at all. If they liked cake, they'd stop and realize (like us!) that they haven't had a single bite of cake their entire lives - and that guys like Romney keep fucking lying to us just to get elected, saying "This is a team sport! If you just vote for me, I promise to do what I can to get you a bite!"
Politics is not a team sport: it's dog-eat-dog. There's a reason why most states have abysmal gun laws - it's because the other side knows how to negotiate.
"WE'RE COMING FOR ALL OF THEM, AND ARE GOING TO GO DOOR-TO-DOOR."
The correct response is NOT "Oh wait, hang on a sec, let's talk... you can have all the handguns if you just leave us the rifles! Please???"
The correct response is "WE'RE COMING WITH THE REPEAL OF NFA '34 AND A COMPANION BILL THAT PROTECTS PEOPLE WHO KILL LAW ENFORCEMENT COMMITTING VIOLENCE ON THEIR PROPERTY WITHOUT A WARRANT."
Radical measures are only going to be countered with radical measures.