The Onion: Who Is Marco Rubio?

[William Tell]

Following similar announcements by Ted Cruz and Rand Paul, Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) has become the third GOP candidate to declare his bid in the 2016 presidential race. The Onion breaks down what you should know about Rubio:

• Campaign Slogan: “Laying the groundwork for 2020”
• Campaign Strategy: Leverage Latino voter base, large-scale grassroots movement, death of Jeb Bush
• Vision: Ready for America to reclaim strong conservative values held by 38 percent of its populace
• Birthplace: Closed-door conservative think tank strategy session in 2010
• Supporters: Good, hardworking, extremely wealthy Americans
• Signature Issue: Strongly in favor of Marco Rubio being president
• Biggest Liability: Close ties to state of Florida
• Ideas For Turning This Country Around: 4
• Conservative Voting Record: Will downplay or proudly stand by it as necessary
• Stance On Welfare: Strongly favors increasing support to beleaguered corporations
• High School Yearbook Superlative: Most Likely To Take 11% Share Of Vote In 2016 Iowa Caucus

http://www.theonion.com/articles/who-is-marco-rubio,38421/