The Great D.C. Deep State Felonious Subway Sandwich Assault of 2025

[ClaytonB]

On a serious note: Good!

Pam Bondi and all the other idiots who pursued this ludicrous "case" (read "petty retaliation") ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Every extra bit of embarrassment they experience as a result is well and truly deserved.

"Felony assault", my ass. "Felony butthurt" is more like it.

Charge them with Assault With a Deadly Sandwich!

 

[Voluntarist]

On a serious note: Good!

Pam Bondi and all the other idiots who pursued this ludicrous "case" (read "petty retaliation") ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Every extra bit of embarrassment they experience as a result is well and truly deserved.

"Felony assault", my ass. "Felony butthurt" is more like it.

There's also this one:
US prosecutors fail three times to secure indictment in FBI assault case

Three different federal grand juries declined to indict Sydney Reid for assaulting, resisting, or impeding officers, prosecutors disclosed in a court filing late on Monday. Prosecutors then downgraded the offense to a misdemeanor.

It is rare for a grand jury to reject a request for an indictment, given that the legal standard is lower than to secure a conviction at trial, and prosecutors alone control the presentation of evidence.
...
U.S. prosecutors in Washington sought to bring a felony assault charge against Reid, accusing her of pushing the FBI agent’s hand against a cement wall. The July 22 confrontation happened as Reid was filming officers who were transferring two men accused of gang activity into federal immigration custody outside a Washington jail, according to court documents.

The alleged assault occurred while Reid was being pinned against the wall by federal agents. Officers sought to subdue her after she attempted to get between law enforcement and one of the suspects, according to a charging document.

 

[jmdrake]

... use of a Subway sandwich ... use of a Subway sandwich ... *cogwheels turning*

:Holy shit!

I just realized Bondi might be on to something really big here.

Think about it:

- a Subway sandwich was thrown at a fed
- Subway's most famous spokesperson was Jared Fogle
- on 07 July 2015, the feds busted Fogle, who was exposed as one of the most notorious pedophiles of the 21st century
- just 3 weeks earlier, on 15 June 2015, Donald Trump had officially announced his first candidacy for president.

Coincidence? I think not!

Clearly, this Subway-sandwich-throwing incident needs to be folded into the Epstein case.

Somehow Jussie Smollett getting MAGA'd after going out for Subway in the middle of the night and in the middle of a blizzard in Chicago is connected to this.

 

[Occam's Banana]

Somehow Jussie Smollett getting MAGA'd after going out for Subway in the middle of the night and in the middle of a blizzard in Chicago is connected to this.

Damn! The Smollett angle hadn't even occurred to me.

The plot mayo thickens ...

 

[Voluntarist]

- Subway's most famous spokesperson was Jared Fogle
- on 07 July 2015, the feds busted Fogle, who was exposed as one of the most notorious pedophiles of the 21st century
- just 3 weeks earlier, on 15 June 2015, Donald Trump had officially announced his first candidacy for president.

Yeah. Yeah!! I can see what you're getting at. Fogle was the Deep State’s sleeper agent. Once Trump emerged, they burned their asset to distract from the MAGA momentum.

There was that whole "Eat Fresh" campaign that Subway used (what QANON has labelled "The Lettuce Curtain Conspiracy"). Subway tells you "To eat fresh". The phrase primes consumers to associate freshness with virtue, while obscuring the systemic exploitation behind it. It subliminally reminds the public that “fresh” produce is sourced from farms with undocumented labor. The Deep State is using sandwich demand to justify porous borders. Every tomato slice is a silent endorsement of open immigration. Jared Fogle becomes the face of “Eat Fresh,” saturating media with his transformation. Yes, yes - it's all so obvious now! Fogle’s rise was engineered to divert attention from the labor behind the lettuce. His fall was timed to coincide with Trump’s rise, creating a moral smokescreen - while the free publicity kept pounding away at the subliminal message of "Eat Fresh / Open Borders". And let's not forget Subway's Guacamole surcharge - a covert charge to fund migrant transport logistics. And didn't QANON also warn us about Sandwich Surveillance - where RFIDed sandwiches tracked sandwich consumption by political leanings (basically sandwich types - liberals won't touch the tastiest high-fat sandwiches). And do you recall how Subway started playing up spinach on it's sandwiches? Elite Greens!!! Trust the "Elite Greens" as they advocate for their Globalist Green Agenda.

 

[Occam's Banana]

Yeah. Yeah!! I can see what you're getting at. Fogle was the Deep State’s sleeper agent. Once Trump emerged, they burned their asset to distract from the MAGA momentum.

There was that whole "Eat Fresh" campaign that Subway used (what QANON has labelled "The Lettuce Curtain Conspiracy"). Subway tells you "To eat fresh". The phrase primes consumers to associate freshness with virtue, while obscuring the systemic exploitation behind it. It subliminally reminds the public that “fresh” produce is sourced from farms with undocumented labor. The Deep State is using sandwich demand to justify porous borders. Every tomato slice is a silent endorsement of open immigration. Jared Fogle becomes the face of “Eat Fresh,” saturating media with his transformation. Yes, yes - it's all so obvious now! Fogle’s rise was engineered to divert attention from the labor behind the lettuce. His fall was timed to coincide with Trump’s rise, creating a moral smokescreen - while the free publicity kept pounding away at the subliminal message of "Eat Fresh / Open Borders". And let's not forget Subway's Guacamole surcharge - a covert charge to fund migrant transport logistics. And didn't QANON also warn us about the Sandwich Surveillance - where RFIDed sandwiches tracked sandwich consumption by political leanings (basically sandwich types - liberals won't touch the tastiest high-fat sandwiches). And do you recall how Subway started playing up spinach on it's sandwiches? Elite Greens!!! Trust the "Elite Greens" as they advocate for their Globalist Green Agenda.

IYKYK

 

[Anti Globalist]

We need common sense sandwich control immediately.

 

[jmdrake]

His heart's in the right place, but he's kinda slow. This fat guy on the other hand....

 

[jmdrake]