A quick and dirty copy edit...
I haven't really addressed form or content or style or a number of other things. Well, not very much.
This is just a quick run through to get a few minor details straightened out. Most of my suggestions are pretty nit-picky stuff (I was an English major; I can't help myself.) and some may have been caused by my non-standard word processor not playing well with the forum. Further, many of my suggestions aren't strictly for grammatical correctness so much as for clarity.
If you'll tell us how this whole thing works, maybe some of us can be of more help. For instance, is this supposed to be a list of facts that the newspaper or other outlet will then work into a story or is it likely to be released as-is? Different approach for each.
Once you've given a bit more context as to how this will be used, I'd be happy to take another (more brutal) pass at it and address some of those other concerns, if that's what you really want. Of course, I know little about journalism, so my input on that front may be of limited value.
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Brent Sanders of Alexandria has formally announced his candidacy for 5th District Congressional Representative. Sanders graduated high school from Holy Savior Menard High School [where?] and received a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Louisiana College.
He said he will work to reduce the size of the federal government by voting against pork barrel projects and working to reform or shut down programs which [that?] do not work. He says [tense switch from previous “said”] he is not willing to make promises just to receive a vote.
"I want to go to Washington to work for the people of the 5th Congressional District [;] and [strike “and”] working to cut pork barrel projects will help us all," Sanders said.
Another issue Sanders said is important is Social Security. Sanders said “Our congress should have fixed the system years ago when it was first pointed out that there was a problem [. Instead they've passed...] and not pass the problem on to future generations.”
Sanders said he would work to initially shore up the system so it can meet the growing demand the baby-boomers will be placing on the system and so the federal government can meet its obligations to all citizens. He added, “In the long term, I would like to see the system move toward privatization so the public can invest there [their] hard earned dollar [dollars. But] but first we have to meet our obligations.”
When questioned about the War in Iraq [,] Sanders said, “While the main population now opposes the war, people shouldn’t forget the Democratic and Republican Leaders [small “l” leaders] in Washington almost all voted unanimously [unanimously means all, not “almost all”] to go to war. " [remove space between “ and .] Sanders added [add “,” or “that”] although he would like to see an immediate withdrawal of troops [,] he realizes this would [will?] be difficult.
Sanders would like to see our sons and daughters out of harms [harm's] way. He said, “Our goal was to remove Saddam Hussein, his corrupt leadership, and eliminate any weapons of mass destruction [Hussein and his corrupt leadership and to eliminate... This is not a list of like things.]. While no weapons of mass destruction were found, our mission has essentially been accomplished.” [need two spaces here] He added, “ Our [remove space between “ and Our] country should not engage in nation building and that is exactly what we are doing in Iraq. We have stabilized the new Iraqi Government [do you want to capitalize “Government” here?] as best we can and now it is time to let the Iraqi people determine the outcome of [eliminate “the outcome of”] their future.”
On gas and oil [,] Sanders said it is past time for our government to stop subsidies to [this is nit-picky, but you should use a verb form here somehow; i.e., “stop subsidizing” or “stop granting subsidies to”] the oil companies. He said he can see no reason why the federal government should continue to subsidize these oil companies while they continue to net [reap?] major profits at the cost of [at cost to] the consumer.
Sanders said by removing oil subsidies it [awkward; consider “said that removing oil subsidies would create”] would create a fairer market [marketplace = one word?] place in which alternative energy [alternative energy solutions?] could freely develop as the market demands.
Sanders feels illegal immigration and the burden it places on our country is extreme. [consider “Sanders feels that the burden placed on this country by illegal immigration is extreme.”] He said he would like to see existing laws enforced. He feels [that] immigration should be allowed but [that] illegal immigration should be prevented.
He pointed out immigrants have always had a role to play in our country. While he opposes using military to patrol our borders with Mexico for illegal immigrants [,] he is not opposed to increasing the size and training of our Border Patrol.
In regard to tax dollars and illegal immigrants [,] Sanders said, “Our school systems should not be required to educate people who are here illegally. Our hospitals should not be required to provide services, other than emergencies [emergency care?], to illegal immigrants at the expense of [consider “to”] tax payers. This charity to illegals needs to stop now before it completely drains our resources [.]”
I haven't really addressed form or content or style or a number of other things. Well, not very much.
This is just a quick run through to get a few minor details straightened out. Most of my suggestions are pretty nit-picky stuff (I was an English major; I can't help myself.) and some may have been caused by my non-standard word processor not playing well with the forum. Further, many of my suggestions aren't strictly for grammatical correctness so much as for clarity.If you'll tell us how this whole thing works, maybe some of us can be of more help. For instance, is this supposed to be a list of facts that the newspaper or other outlet will then work into a story or is it likely to be released as-is? Different approach for each.
Once you've given a bit more context as to how this will be used, I'd be happy to take another (more brutal) pass at it and address some of those other concerns, if that's what you really want. Of course, I know little about journalism, so my input on that front may be of limited value.
-------------
Brent Sanders of Alexandria has formally announced his candidacy for 5th District Congressional Representative. Sanders graduated high school from Holy Savior Menard High School [where?] and received a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Louisiana College.
He said he will work to reduce the size of the federal government by voting against pork barrel projects and working to reform or shut down programs which [that?] do not work. He says [tense switch from previous “said”] he is not willing to make promises just to receive a vote.
"I want to go to Washington to work for the people of the 5th Congressional District [;] and [strike “and”] working to cut pork barrel projects will help us all," Sanders said.
Another issue Sanders said is important is Social Security. Sanders said “Our congress should have fixed the system years ago when it was first pointed out that there was a problem [. Instead they've passed...] and not pass the problem on to future generations.”
Sanders said he would work to initially shore up the system so it can meet the growing demand the baby-boomers will be placing on the system and so the federal government can meet its obligations to all citizens. He added, “In the long term, I would like to see the system move toward privatization so the public can invest there [their] hard earned dollar [dollars. But] but first we have to meet our obligations.”
When questioned about the War in Iraq [,] Sanders said, “While the main population now opposes the war, people shouldn’t forget the Democratic and Republican Leaders [small “l” leaders] in Washington almost all voted unanimously [unanimously means all, not “almost all”] to go to war. " [remove space between “ and .] Sanders added [add “,” or “that”] although he would like to see an immediate withdrawal of troops [,] he realizes this would [will?] be difficult.
Sanders would like to see our sons and daughters out of harms [harm's] way. He said, “Our goal was to remove Saddam Hussein, his corrupt leadership, and eliminate any weapons of mass destruction [Hussein and his corrupt leadership and to eliminate... This is not a list of like things.]. While no weapons of mass destruction were found, our mission has essentially been accomplished.” [need two spaces here] He added, “ Our [remove space between “ and Our] country should not engage in nation building and that is exactly what we are doing in Iraq. We have stabilized the new Iraqi Government [do you want to capitalize “Government” here?] as best we can and now it is time to let the Iraqi people determine the outcome of [eliminate “the outcome of”] their future.”
On gas and oil [,] Sanders said it is past time for our government to stop subsidies to [this is nit-picky, but you should use a verb form here somehow; i.e., “stop subsidizing” or “stop granting subsidies to”] the oil companies. He said he can see no reason why the federal government should continue to subsidize these oil companies while they continue to net [reap?] major profits at the cost of [at cost to] the consumer.
Sanders said by removing oil subsidies it [awkward; consider “said that removing oil subsidies would create”] would create a fairer market [marketplace = one word?] place in which alternative energy [alternative energy solutions?] could freely develop as the market demands.
Sanders feels illegal immigration and the burden it places on our country is extreme. [consider “Sanders feels that the burden placed on this country by illegal immigration is extreme.”] He said he would like to see existing laws enforced. He feels [that] immigration should be allowed but [that] illegal immigration should be prevented.
He pointed out immigrants have always had a role to play in our country. While he opposes using military to patrol our borders with Mexico for illegal immigrants [,] he is not opposed to increasing the size and training of our Border Patrol.
In regard to tax dollars and illegal immigrants [,] Sanders said, “Our school systems should not be required to educate people who are here illegally. Our hospitals should not be required to provide services, other than emergencies [emergency care?], to illegal immigrants at the expense of [consider “to”] tax payers. This charity to illegals needs to stop now before it completely drains our resources [.]”
