Life has not been kind lately

[bv3]

//

 

[bv3]

Called

Hmmm. I don't know how you will take this, most people don't believe me. I have a talent, a painful one, for being able to see people's futures. Not in the sense that I could lay out a road map, more in a general sense; I can sense when people will be more than okay, that they will thrive. I say it sucks, because this sense doesn't trigger when I look at myself. I say it is a talent because it has not yet, to date, been wrong. You might say, "How can you say this about me? You've never met me," this is true, but I've read you for nine years--a not insignificant amount of text. Writing is mind distilled, yes, in symbols transmittable? Milton said that words offer the purest access to another person's mind.

So, take it from an internet lunatic: while things don't always pass for everyone, and it isn't always going to be okay, these tribulations will pass for you and your life has strange and interesting things still in store.

P.S. That bit about indulging... delete that. I'd prefer if anyone that quoted Abcess did the same.

 

[Anti Federalist]

P.S. That bit about indulging... delete that. I'd prefer if anyone that quoted Abcess did the same.

Smart.

Done

 

[PursuePeace]

Called and spoke with someone for a few hours that night. It took me off the edge, but I'm not out of the woods yet. I'm still not eating more than a few hundred calories a day or sleeping for a couple hours at a time. Frequently waking up drenched in sweat, too. I'm also toggling from grief to sadness to despair to anger in quick intervals of time. My focus is non-existent. [excised] If I drive, it's erratic and risky - I typically drive at or below speed limits, and brake gingerly.

I'm living in Orange County, as I have since summer. A friend in customs has offered a place for me in San Diego to get things sorted out, and I may take him up on that. Getting laid off and left cold reopened the wounds and scars left from the life I was to live with my wife. Trying to start out, again, on a career path that could take half a decade or more - this would put me in my 40s - is difficult enough, but now I'm faced with doing it without the comfort, security, and love of my wife. While also trying to simply make ends meet for myself in the meantime.

Glad that you checked in. This isn't easy to do at the moment, but focus on right this moment. Not the past, not the future. But just this very moment. Eat and sleep are the two most important things you need to do right now. If you have not been eating but a few hundred calories a day and not sleeping, your thinking is not going to be clear, and it can just mess you all up. You have to eat and sleep. Your brain needs it. Take it a little bit at a time and please focus on those two things. It's really, really important. Ok? You're going to be all right. You've got options, San Diego is one. It may be something that turns everything around. Or maybe it will lead you to the true new start that you need. But now, please take care of you. Get sleep and nourishment. Thinking about you and hoping you find peace. Please pm me (anytime even months from now, whatever) if you ever need to talk about your grief. I'm almost an expert at this point and have a lot of compassion for those going through it. Take care.

 

[donnay]

Glad that you checked in. This isn't easy to do at the moment, but focus on right this moment. Not the past, not the future. But just this very moment. Eat and sleep are the two most important things you need to do right now. If you have not been eating but a few hundred calories a day and not sleeping, your thinking is not going to be clear, and it can just mess you all up. You have to eat and sleep. Your brain needs it. Take it a little bit at a time and please focus on those two things. It's really, really important. Ok? You're going to be all right. You've got options, San Diego is one. It may be something that turns everything around. Or maybe it will lead you to the true new start that you need. But now, please take care of you. Get sleep and nourishment. Thinking about you and hoping you find peace. Please pm me (anytime even months from now, whatever) if you ever need to talk about your grief. I'm almost an expert at this point and have a lot of compassion for those going through it. Take care.

This^^^

I will keep you in my prayers, because prayers are very powerful. Keep the faith.

 

[Feeding the Abscess]

Checking in.

Still in despair, disharmony, and desperation. I'll be at the LP convention tomorrow in LA sometime around noon, if anyone will be there. I'll be in a black polo, gray Dockers, and black Adidas Icon 4s. I'm tall and lean.

 

[Swordsmyth]

Checking in.

Still in despair, disharmony, and desperation. I'll be at the LP convention tomorrow in LA sometime around noon, if anyone will be there. I'll be in a black polo, gray Dockers, and black Adidas Icon 4s. I'm tall and lean.

Hello.

It's good to know you are still with us.

If you want you can join the RPF Discord chat.

The permanent invite link:

https://discord.gg/HHcY6hh

 

[Anti Globalist]

Checking in.

Still in despair, disharmony, and desperation. I'll be at the LP convention tomorrow in LA sometime around noon, if anyone will be there. I'll be in a black polo, gray Dockers, and black Adidas Icon 4s. I'm tall and lean.

Stay strong my friend.

 

[eleganz]

Hey man, very sorry for all the loss.

You must continue to live the best life you possibly can in the memory of your lioness. Life is full of obstacles, some harder than others, keep moving forward step by step, it will better.

Which part of OC are you staying at? Have you found a new stable job yet? Maybe reach out to one of those medical debt non-profits to see if they can help you out or possibly declare bankruptcy so you can start fresh and save up.

We are all here for you. Join the chat that swordsmyth posted up.

What are your skills and experiences? Its not out of the ordinary that someone here on RPF might have leads on job opportunities. The economy is in great shape right now, shouldn't be hard to find a decent job that will get you on track.

 

[PursuePeace]

Checking in.

Still in despair, disharmony, and desperation. I'll be at the LP convention tomorrow in LA sometime around noon, if anyone will be there. I'll be in a black polo, gray Dockers, and black Adidas Icon 4s. I'm tall and lean.

I didn't see this till just now. Sorry you are still in a bad place. If you feel like talking or venting, please do so. We care.

 

[shakey1]

Checking in.

Still in despair, disharmony, and desperation. I'll be at the LP convention tomorrow in LA sometime around noon, if anyone will be there. I'll be in a black polo, gray Dockers, and black Adidas Icon 4s. I'm tall and lean.

Quite the OP... hang in there.

 

[Carlybee]

I haven't been here in a while so just read this. What an awful bunch of heartache to go through. I lost my dad, my brother and my mother over a 6 year span. It's hard and you feel like life will never be the same. My ex husband cheated on me with a friend while i was caring for my mom, then filed for divorce. I lost my home because i couldnt afford it by myself. I went loopy for a few years due to having hyperparathyroidism which got better after they removed them but they took out my whole thyroid which was life changing from a health standpoint. Just when I sort of starting to feel normal again, my adult son had a fall resulting in a severe traumatic brain injury. Still dealing with that. I'm close to retirement age but working 60 hour weeks. My point being, we keep going but yes it's hard..really sucky and hard. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that and at such a young age. I will keep you in my prayers that life turns around for you soon..you are definitely due. Please dont stop reaching out. Youth is on your side, so there is that but grief doesn't have a timeline.

 

[Feeding the Abscess]

Checking in.

In training to get my life insurance license. Learned this week that I'm on the spectrum. It's a no-brainer in retrospect, as it explains all of my behavioral and personality quirks and traits from childhood to now. But it also means that I'll still need to adjust behaviors and be cognizant of my thoughts, emotions, and feelings at all times, rather than being 'normal' after resolving whatever issues remain from my grief.

All said, this information is better than limited or misleading information. Further testing with the psychiatrist will reveal the extent of the ASD, and if it overlaps elsewhere (probably some ADHD tendencies).

 

[Swordsmyth]

Checking in.

In training to get my life insurance license. Learned this week that I'm on the spectrum. It's a no-brainer in retrospect, as it explains all of my behavioral and personality quirks and traits from childhood to now. But it also means that I'll still need to adjust behaviors and be cognizant of my thoughts, emotions, and feelings at all times, rather than being 'normal' after resolving whatever issues remain from my grief.

All said, this information is better than limited or misleading information. Further testing with the psychiatrist will reveal the extent of the ASD, and if it overlaps elsewhere (probably some ADHD tendencies).

It's good to hear you are getting help.

Keep us updated

 

[Anti Globalist]

Checking in.

In training to get my life insurance license. Learned this week that I'm on the spectrum. It's a no-brainer in retrospect, as it explains all of my behavioral and personality quirks and traits from childhood to now. But it also means that I'll still need to adjust behaviors and be cognizant of my thoughts, emotions, and feelings at all times, rather than being 'normal' after resolving whatever issues remain from my grief.

All said, this information is better than limited or misleading information. Further testing with the psychiatrist will reveal the extent of the ASD, and if it overlaps elsewhere (probably some ADHD tendencies).

Good to see your getting help. I'm on the spectrum as well.

 

[Anti Federalist]

Check in again.

 

[Anti Globalist]

Hope your doing ok Abscess.