I love my brother, but he's so stupid.

Terry1

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So my brothers wife walked out on him and with one of his friends that was staying at their home at the time. :eek: Now--his wife is the same age as me--59 years old. I thought that most people by the time they reached my age are too damn tired to do this kind of thing. I guess not in her case. She's a registered administrative nurse too. You'd think that this woman would have more brains than this. Education and success does not always equal common sense--this is a given fact.

My brother is an ex-Marine and has that PTSD thing. He can get obsessive and depressed at times, but he's an easy going guy and has always been faithful to her.

So any way--they're separated now and he's been in those online dating sites. So he sends me a pic of this sexy young gal half his age that contacted him from Nigeria--told him she was there on missionary work--okay---some of you already know what happened next. My brother is not internet savvy. He doesn't even know how to send an email--LOL Everything he does know, his wife helped teach him--which isn't much.

So immediately I tell him that there are Nigerian scammers out there who saturate the dating site using pics of good looking people and that he was probably talking to some hairy guy in a mud hut in Nigeria using this girls pic. He's already falling in love with this person and I told him that he didn't realize what he was doing. So his words to me were--"why are you busting my balls here"? He even got angry with me. This person had already asked him for 1,500.00 and I told him that by no means at all should he send any money or give out any of his personal info. He at least listened to me regarding that--thank God!

So there's an online test to see if you've been contacted by one of these scammers and I had him take the test. Turns out that his score was over the top. Almost every single tactic and phrase these scammers use was used on him as well. Then when he tried to get this person to call him--they told him they had "bad reception" in that part of Nigeria. I told him if they had bad reception--they couldn't text him either on their phone--duh--yet he was getting constant texts from this person without interruption. Finally this person gave him a phone number that was based in St. Peters, MN. He tried to call it and it was a dead number as well.

I finally convinced him to dump this person knowing he was being scammed. He did and now he told me that he's getting off the computer for good. I told him that was the best idea he had yet since I'm thousands of miles away and can't help him with it.

He's lonely and these are the kinds of people these scammers hunt for and they give age ranges in their profiles like 25 to 80 so they can target a larger group of people. My brother was a prime target being he's in his early sixties and a lonely guy looking for companionship. When he thought that this sexy young woman was interested in him--he was easily duped into believing the scam.

I told him that the internet is a dangerous place to play these days without knowing and understanding what all is out there. He's off the internet for good and thank the Lord too because I was really worried about him. Yesterday he called me and said--sis--"you saved my ass". Lonely guys have deep pockets for these scum-bag scammers. He said he was going to church now and hopefully will meet some nice woman who's local. I told him that was his best bet. I didn't like the church he chose to go to but hey--I was looking at it like any Christian church is better than him doing something really stupid on an internet dating site. I certainly wasn't going to make an issue of which church to go to either because he has no clue about doctrinal differences either :p
 
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Any emails he gets from this person will probably already be on the internet, at least certain phrases. He can be helped. Be patient with him, it sounds like he's going through some pretty traumatic stuff.
 
It is really not hard to find companionship if you get out a little. If he has any hobbies like cooking or something he could take a class or a work shop and probably meet someone thru a common interest. Church is also a good place to meet single people most large churches have a singles bible study class.
 
Any emails he gets from this person will probably already be on the internet, at least certain phrases. He can be helped. Be patient with him, it sounds like he's going through some pretty traumatic stuff.


He is and I've been there for him--even though he just keeps repeating himself saying the same stuff over and over. He's broken hearted from losing his wife of many years to his best friend and he's lonely. I don't know which one he misses the most to tell you the truth either. I know there's a joke about that too, but I know he'll get through it. He keeps blaming himself and I told him it wasn't his fault and that she made her choice and bed and now let her lay in it.

Anyway--here's that online test I had him take that convinced him--otherwise--I don't think that he would have believed me. This is a great tool for anyone who thinks they're being scammed. Here's the link. http://www.romancescam.com/cgi-bin/scamtest.cgi?areyoutalkingtoanigerianscammer
 
It is really not hard to find companionship if you get out a little. If he has any hobbies like cooking or something he could take a class or a work shop and probably meet someone thru a common interest. Church is also a good place to meet single people most large churches have a singles bible study class.

He loves to cook! He loves nature, hiking and occasional trips too, but mostly he's a homebody who loves his pets and gardening. I know he'll meet someone nice eventually--this has just been so hard for him. He already has some emotional problems, so I was so worried about him getting too depressed. He's been calling me a lot now and mostly I just listen to him because I know he just needs to vent and I'm the only one he's got that will listen to the extent that I do. He told me the other day--I thank God for you sis--you're the only one who loves me. I told him--nah--God loves you much more than me hon. :p
 
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He loves to cook! He loves nature, hiking and occasional trips too, but mostly he's a homebody who loves his pets and gardening. I know he'll meet someone nice eventually--this has just been so hard for him. He already has some emotional problems, so I was so worried about him getting too depressed. He's been calling me a lot now and mostly I just listen to him because I know he just needs to vent and I'm the one he's got that will listen to the extent that I do.

A Christian guy with a good heart who loves to cook, is kind to animals, and enjoys doing the yard.

Yeah he kind of just needs a chance to get to the point in the conversation where all of that comes to light, and I don't think he'll have any trouble.
 
A Christian guy with a good heart who loves to cook, is kind to animals, and enjoys doing the yard.

Yeah he kind of just needs a chance to get to the point in the conversation where all of that comes to light, and I don't think he'll have any trouble.

The sad part is that he said he still loves his wife even after what she did to him. He's such a sweetheart and he's so vulnerable right now and that's why I worry about him so much.

I did call his wife while she was staying with this other guy and I can't repeat what I said to her--but my brother said that she was in tears over it and all I said was--she should be in tears! It's a good thing that they live in South Dakota and I live in MA.--otherwise I'd have probably been tempted to do worse. :o
 
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Siblings can definitely be frustrating. Familiarity breeds contempt. You should tell him to take a trip and come visit you so he can get of change a scenery. In the end all you can do is pray for them and love them. :)
 
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Siblings can definitely be frustrating. Familiarity breeds contempt. You should tell him to take a trip and come visit you so he can get a change a scenery. In the end all you can do is pray for them and love them. :)

I told him he should come visit while I'm on a short vaca. I do love my brother, but last time he came to visit it was "get me this" and "make me a sandwich" the whole time he was here. :p He wore me out. lol My Mother used to pamper my brothers like that all of the time and he expects it now.
 
I am so sorry your brother is going through this. I hope he is able to visit you and that it will be a good and productive visit. Any chance you can introduce him to some new friends?
 
I told him he should come visit while I'm on a short vaca. I do love my brother, but last time he came to visit it was "get me this" and "make me a sandwich" the whole time he was here. :p He wore me out. lol My Mother used to pamper my brothers like that all of the time and he expects it now.

Boy oh boy there is always one in every family. I have a sister just like that and she is single. LOL!
 
I told him he should come visit while I'm on a short vaca. I do love my brother, but last time he came to visit it was "get me this" and "make me a sandwich" the whole time he was here. :p He wore me out. lol My Mother used to pamper my brothers like that all of the time and he expects it now.

If I tried that with either of my sisters they'd bean me with whatever was in their hand...

Just 'cause he's hurting doesn't mean he can't get off his butt and do for himself....
 
If I tried that with either of my sisters they'd bean me with whatever was in their hand...

Just 'cause he's hurting doesn't mean he can't get off his butt and do for himself....

Well, I did at one point tell him that he knew where the fridge was and how to make himself a sandwich. You should have seen the puzzled look on his face, it was priceless. :p My mother would have not only made him the sandwich, but cut the crust off too. LOL
 
Boy oh boy there is always one in every family. I have a sister just like that and she is single. LOL!

I won't even discuss my sister who has now ventured into Buddhism, and gave me her own sermon and version of karma the other day on the phone as well. She's having a new very lavish inground pool designed for her backyard which all centers around a very large Buddha head that spews water from it's mouth. I told her I liked my above ground with the real ducks that liked to come and crap on the edges just fine. It may not be fancy with a Buddha fountain and good karma like hers, but I certainly praise Jesus as I'm floating around beached in my pontoon chair with a cocktail. :D

I did say to her on the phone that the reason my other siblings are so screwed-up is because of my Mother--I blame her because they're all wacky.:D
 
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Well, I did at one point tell him that he knew where the fridge was and how to make himself a sandwich. You should have seen the puzzled look on his face, it was priceless. :p My mother would have not only made him the sandwich, but cut the crust off too. LOL

Perhaps his wife got tired of making sandwiches? :p
 
Perhaps his wife got tired of making sandwiches? :p

He did like to be pampered and waited on, but in all truth--he did most of the cooking. I guess that's why his wife soared to over 200 lbs. That didn't stop her or his friend though. LOL I guess where there's a will--there's always a way. :D
 
Good grief! Just think of the money he'll save on groceries....

As a matter of fact, he mentioned that as well. In fact while she was staying with this other guy--she had the nerve to call my brother asking him if the cobbler was still in the fridge--I kid you not.
 
As a matter of fact, he mentioned that as well. In fact while she was staying with this other guy--she had the nerve to call my brother asking him if the cobbler was still in the fridge--I kid you not.

Holy crap. 200 lbs, incredibly insensitive and wants to claim ownership on a cobbler after she takes off with his "best friend."

Your brother is so much better off. I hope he meets someone worth his while.
 
I probably shouldn't jump in here, but is being overweight necessarily worth lumping in with everything else here? I know its unhealthy and unattractive (I'm pretty overweight myself... though of course male) but the rest of it is character issues.
 
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