Headline Help--Please Help Time sensitive llepard

[llepard]

OK, NYTimes adv.

The headline now reads:

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

Because I care about my family and your family.

Got feedback from my family over christmas eve dinner.

They believe it sounds like I am bragging. They think I should change the headline to:

Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? (same second line).

or

Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?(same second line)

My family thinks stating a number is just stupid. Especially since the number is so large relative to what most people make annually.

I expressed this concern to my copy writer but she said putting the number in made people realize I was real, and was successful. eg: this is not just some fringe guy putting up an adv.

Help, i am on deadline. I am having doubts. I need advice.

Also, got a lot of feedback that I was just wasting my money. Thoughts?

 

[matthylland]

hmm thats tough...

maybe it is better to play on the safe side and just say;

"Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?"

but 85,000 also seems like a significant point as well, but I'm not sure how it will be interpreted by the masses.

So my vote is:

Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

 

[tsetsefly]

OK, NYTimes adv.

The headline now reads:

Why did I spend $85,000 to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?

Because I care about my family and your family.

Got feedback from my family over christmas eve dinner.

They believe it sounds like I am bragging. They think I should change the headline to:

Why do I support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul? (same second line).

or

Why did I purchase a full page ad to support Presidential Candidate Ron Paul?(same second line)

My family thinks stating a number is just stupid. Especially since the number is so large relative to what most people make annually.

I expressed this concern to my copy writer but she said putting the number is made people realize I was real, and was successful. eg: this is not just some fringe guy putting up and adv.

Help, i am on deadline. I am having doubts. I need advice.

I thought the number w was unnecesary as well, I like the second edite line, why did I purchase a full ad...

 

[ReallyNow]

I think the 85k should stay because it's a grabber and that's what you want a headline to be. Just my humble opinion.

 

[ladyliberty3]

Mr. Lepard, I like the sound of the third one. You are indeed a patriot sir.

 

[LibertyEagle]

Leave it the way it is. It is great.

You need to put the number. Otherwise, most won't understand how much it cost. It helps to get the point across, how very important this is to you, that you would be willing to spend such a huge amount.

 

[slantedview]

I agree that removing the actual dollar amount might be a good idea. As for whether or not to keep the original idea behind the headline (why did I purchase an ad...), I have no opinion.

Merry Xmas

 

[Ben Elliott]

I agree with your family, it does come off somewhat haughty saying, "because I care about my friends and family".

Everything else that I've read in the ad is amazing.

 

[LibertyEagle]

No, no. You have to put the number. Otherwise, they won't understand how very serious you are about what you are saying.

 

[Margo37]

Small voice here but I loved it the way it was, remarkable, you and the ad!
I think it's wonderful that you're doing this again.
Merry Christmas to you all.

No, no. You have to put the number.

 

[Sey.Naci]

Leave it as it is. I certainly didn't read the headline as bragging.

 

[Suzu]

You've spent a lot more than $85k, all things considered. The number is not important. People will realize that posting full page ads in national newspapers is very expensive.

I would rather see the 2nd line say something about your desire to address his lack of traditional coverage.

 

[noztnac]

I could do without the number. I like Llepard so I was inclined to like the ad but now that you mention it I think the number may not be necessary and may even put a few people off.

 

[Scott Wilson]

I think using $85,000 is a good idea as it sounds significant to the reader.

As you stated, it demonstrates that Ron Paul supporters are not simply disgruntled people on the fringe but are a cross section of concerned people from all demographics.

 

[quantized]

Mr. Lepard, I also prefer the sound of the third one, but i do not read the first one as bragging.

 

[LibertyEagle]

I agree with your family, it does come off somewhat haughty saying, "because I care about my friends and family".

Everything else that I've read in the ad is amazing.

He doesn't say that though.... He says... my family and YOUR FAMILY.

 

[rodent]

Perhaps you could compromise and say:

"Why did I pay for this ad out of my own pocket?" Or some twist on that.

Personally, I didn't see anything wrong with the number. However, I bet people are going to treat you differently if they know your face and that you have money. Before the USA Today thing, I just knew you as a currency trader guy. Now I know who Larry Lepard really is.

 

[CaptBookbag]

leave the number!!!

 

[Cyclone]

If you take out the number, you really dilute the message. THEN you sound like you are bragging. As it is, you are explaining why you did such a thing that cost so much money, if you change it and take out the dollar figure, then it just looks like you are bragging that you personally bought a full page ad for someone.

Therefore, I strongly suggest leaving it exactly the way it is! It is very powerful. Please don't weaken it.

 

[llepard]

He doesn't say that though.... He says... my family and YOUR FAMILY.

Right, the reason the second line is there is that in advertising you need to tell the reader what is in it for them.

Just saying I spent the money is a yawn. Have to say what the benefit is to them.