I'd recommend checking out clubs or NRA events in the area. One thing I'm sure you've noticed is that the range is generally the most polite place on earth - for obvious reasons - but we like to share as well. There's been more than one occasion where I've gotten to shoot something new because I took an interest and asked what it was like, and I've done likewise for others.
I also haunt thehighroad.us once in a while - this is a good forum site specifically for gun issues. The tone there is very different from other popular sites like glocktalk or ar15.com.
Mas Ayoob is considered pretty much the man when it comes to defensive use, and he blogs at
http://backwoodshome.com/blogs/MassadAyoob/
I really appreciate Jeff Quinn's articles at
http://www.gunblast.com/
For web-based window shopping, I like
http://www.thegunsource.com
I hit at least one manufacturer's site a week, like kel-tec-cnc.com, glock.com, ruger.com, etc...
I've known a couple people now who got the biggest, baddest hogleg they could handle, shot it for a year, and then sold it to buy a 9mm. You can't hit anything unless you practice, and you can't practice unless you spend money - and 45acp costs way more to practice with than 9mm. That is why 9mm Luger is the most popular cartridge. It has nothing to do with kick, and everything to do with economics. 45 may take them down faster, but with 9mm you literally get more bang for your buck.
I've been shooting for the better part of a decade now, and one thing I haven't managed to get is a 22. I should have done it much earlier because it is far more appropriate for survival situations - especially in the suburbs - than any larger-bore cartridge.
22 puts the rabbits in the back yard on my table. 9mm puts me in a cell.
Shotguns are nice for home defense because you can just point and shoot. With a handgun, you'll waste time trying to aim.
(edit) whoops, missed this... the only difference between a shotgun and a handgun for home defense is that the shotgun puts a 1" diameter hole in the wall when you miss, as opposed to a 0.355" hole or 0.452" hole. It simply does not spread that much. Now, it hits WAY harder. But it does not give you +5 to-hit bonuses against goblins, nor does it come equipped with an on-screen red-dot FPS auto-aim feature.
