Ed Snowden Sighting Thread

[Root]

I just saw Eddie Snowden at the Philly zoo.

 

[KEEF]

Cost of leaking NSA and Prism to the general public... your name and reputation in the eyes of the MSM. But we still have your back.
Cost of buying a ticket from Russia to Cuba only to not be on it and get MSM reporters stuck on a pointlessly expensive 16 hour flight (hilarious)... $1902.75
Cost of being an agent of Liberty exposing the lies told by the U.S.... Priceless!

We are in debt to you sir... Godspeed.

 

[Elias Graves]

Shit, I think that's Ed fixing my neighbor's roof!

 

[Todd]

 

[Philhelm]

I killed Edward Snowden in Pakistan and dumped his body into the ocean. Sorry that I do not have photographs or video recordings to prove it, so you will just have to trust me based on my reputation of integrity. I didn't want the libertarians to see the act, view him as a martyr, and commit acts of violence.

 

[Elias Graves]

I killed Edward Snowden in Pakistan and dumped his body into the ocean. Sorry that I do not have photographs or video recordings to prove it, so you will just have to trust me based on my reputation of integrity. I didn't want the libertarians to see the act, view him as a martyr, and commit acts of violence.

Well, now you can expect your outdated helicopter to mysteriously go down.

 

[McBell]

He was at the local school for the blind recently, but I don't think anyone saw him.

 

[Occam's Banana]

I killed Edward Snowden in Pakistan and dumped his body into the ocean. Sorry that I do not have photographs or video recordings to prove it, so you will just have to trust me based on my reputation of integrity. I didn't want the libertarians to see the act, view him as a martyr, and commit acts of violence.

Just give up, everyone. None of us are going to beat this one. Phil has won today's internets. /thread

 

[evilfunnystuff]

Hmmm

 

[jtstellar]

feminists better not pull the stunt they did on assange to snowden

 

[Mani]

Well, now you can expect your outdated helicopter to mysteriously go down.

HHAHAHHAHHA! Philhelm better not step onto any aircraft in the near future. HAHHAHHAHA.

 

[Philhelm]

HHAHAHHAHHA! Philhelm better not step onto any aircraft in the near future. HAHHAHHAHA.

See? No Fly Lists are for our safety.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

He's hiding in the MATRIX

 

[Warlord]

Where's Ed?

 

[Elias Graves]

Where's Ed?

I saw him playing checkers in the park.

 

[KEEF]

Where's Ed?

Enjoying a couple vodka martinis in some room at a Moscow airport.

 

[Barrex]

I killed Edward Snowden in Pakistan and dumped his body into the ocean. Sorry that I do not have photographs or video recordings to prove it, so you will just have to trust me based on my reputation of integrity. I didn't want the libertarians to see the act, view him as a martyr, and commit acts of violence.

These 2 saved this thread. Good idea. Not that funny jokes. I give it 2,4 out of 5. 5 being best.

By the way yesterday I was kidnapped by some old spice smelling guys in black. They threw me in some dark dumpster. There were 2 other persons. I said I am from Bosnia one was speaking russian and other english but he said he is from China. I dared him to say "fried rice". He couldnt. Me and Russian laughed our asses off. Chinese prick started screaming "Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai;Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai something something russia". Then I started laughing at both of them. Russian said "May your house be live on CNN". I had to defend my honour and told him Dao Bog da mozes trazit djecu Gajgerovim brojačem. Then my senses sharpened. It was "that time". I started swingning with my hand and I heard that from 2 directions other hands are swinging too. Before I could hit anyone I was taserd and men in black marched in and took Chinese guy out. We heard him scream for 15 minutes before he answered everything he knew about Snowden. Then they came for Russian guy and tortured him and he screamed for 45 minutes before he told them that snowden flew in Bosnia. They throw him back into the cell and grabed me. While they were chaining me to the wall I was thinking how I will last longer and I will laugAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..what the f**c was that? AHAAAAAHHUUU "Where is Snowden?" they asked... still shocked I asked: "WhaAAAHhhhhhhhhhha?" They:" Where is he?" I: "I dont AAAAAAhhhhhhhaaaaa " "where is he" "I forAHHHH"... Apparently after 6 hours they gave up. Russian and Chinese guy were impressed and were wondering how could I last so long... I told them that in Bosnia there is centuries long tradition that every child is taught how to turn its brain off...there was also second phase of learning "how to turn it back on" but that guy died when he broke his neck by tripping over his own beard....crap I should told them how brave I was but my brain for some reason didnt work properly....after few hours they decided to let us go. They ordered us to stand still and look at the floor... Then they took crowbar and punched Chinese guy in the head...he fell down then Russian guy and he fell down screwming... then they hit me in the head but I remained standing... and again and again and then he hit me in the head with all his force and crowbar broke in 3-4 pieces. I look up and everyone is staring at me. Men in black, Russian, Chinese guy, military, airplane pilots...EVERYONE...what an embarrasment. I was so ashamed.

 

[Nobexliberty]

Found him!

 

[jmdrake]

 

[smithtg]

Was that Moscow?