I once thought like you and took it so seriously that I joined the Army. I am over my days of hating Muslims because of a mistaken belief that they are all evil. I don't come to my conclusion from brainwashing. I reach it by reading, studying carefully, and trying to understand what brings people to that faith.
You don't seem to understand how abrogation works in the Quran. It is through strict abrogation that they arrive to jihad as the only logical conclusion. I'm explaining to you that modern Muslims reject abrogation in the way radical Islam uses it. Strict abrogation says offensive war against non-believers is the only path, because at the end of Muhammad's life was when he was most violent and abrogation says everything prior is essentially null and void. The transition of the past 100 years or so is in direct contrast to that and even out right rejection of those principles in most of the Muslim faith. This is a difficult thing to understand because the Quran isn't organized chronologically, but by the size of the chapters. There is so much division within the faith that it's largely being corrected through reformation and we would be smart to remain as far from that effort as possible. Lest we be accused as Christians to have corrupted the reformers.
Prior to our engagement in the Middle East, millions of Christians lived along side Muslims. If all Muslims were practicing radical Islam.. this should not even be possible. In some of the ME states, Christians actually hold government positions. How is this possible? I'm not saying there isn't violence, but its distinct from the idea that 2 billion are violent.
I'll end this conversation with a few final thoughts, because I don't think you are willing to see things any other way.
In my opinion, Muslim worship is nothing more than pagan worship of Tammuz and Semiramis. It heavily derives from pagan Moon and Venus worship. Before Islam, the Kaaba was adorned with Hubal statues and depictions. Hubal was a moon deity and is who they call Allah. This escapes the attention of those in their religion, that Mohammad was raised under Hubal worship and his objective was to replace polytheism with monotheism. He chose to represent Hubal as the one and only god - Allah. Semiramis is a deity of Venus (but often depicted with the crescent moon as well). This is why Islamic flags represent Venus being eclipsed by the Crescent Moon (it is mistaken as a star). If you understand why this is of concern... then you realize the problem is far greater than the Muslim faith.